1. ?Fasin blong toktok gud tugeta i givhan long mared olsem wanem?

WAN brata long Kanada i talem se: “Mi mi laekem moa blong spenem taem wetem woman blong mi, i bitim we mi spenem taem wetem ol narafala man. Taem mi glad long wan samting, mi serem wetem woman blong mi, hemia i mekem se mi glad moa. Mo taem mi serem ol trabol blong mi wetem hem, ol wari blong mi oli godaon.” Wan brata long Ostrelia i talem se: “Long ol 11 yia we mitufala i mared, mi neva letem wan dei i pas we mi no toktok long woman blong mi. Mitufala i no wari se wan samting bambae i kam spolem mared blong mitufala. Bigfala risen from wanem mitufala i harem olsem, hemia se oltaem mitufala i toktok gud tugeta.” Wan sista long Kosta Rika i talem se: “Fasin blong toktok gud tugeta i mekem mared blong mitufala i kam gud moa, be i no hemia nomo, hem i mekem se mitufala i kam klosap moa long Jehova. Mo tu, fasin ya i givhan long mitufala blong winim ol samting we oli traem mitufala, mo hem i mekem se mitufala i joen gud tugeta, mo mitufala i lavlavem mitufala.”

2. ?Wanem sam samting we i mekem se i had blong man mo woman i toktok gud tugeta?

² ?Olsem wanem? ?Yu mo man no woman blong yu, yutufala i harem gud blong toktok tugeta, no yutufala i luk se i had tumas? Blong talem stret, taem man mo woman i mared, bambae tufala i fesem sam trabol from we tufala i sinman, tufala i gruap long defdefren ples, mo tufala i gat defdefren fasin. (Rom 3:23) Antap moa, maet tufala i gat ol defdefren fasin blong toktok. Taswe, John M. Gottman mo Nan Silver, tufala i talem se: “Mared i wan samting we i had tumas. Man mo woman i mas gat strong tingting mo wan tingting we i no save jenis, olsem nao bambae mared i save stap longtaem.”

3. ?Wanem i givhan long man mo woman blong mekem mared blong tufala i stap strong?

³ Wan gudfala mared i no kamaot olsem nomo. Man mo woman, tufala i mas traehad blong mekem se mared blong tufala i stap gud, mo tufala i glad long hem. Man mo woman we tufala i  lavlavem tufala, tufala i save harem gud long mared blong tufala. (Pri. 9:9) Yu traem tingbaot Aesak mo Rebeka. (Jen. 24:67) Tufala i mared longtaem, be mared blong tufala i stap strong. I no gat wan vas blong Baebol we i soemaot se tufala i no moa lavlavem tufala. Plante mared tede tu i olsem. ?Wanem i mekem se ol mared ya oli stap strong olsem? Man mo woman, tufala i wokem fasin ya blong kasem save long tufala, tufala i soemaot lav, respek, mo tingting daon. Ol fasin ya oli givhan long tufala blong tufala i talemaot ol tingting mo ol filing blong tufala, long fasin we i kaen mo i tru. Naoia bambae yumi luk se taem man mo woman tufala i soemaot ol fasin ya insaed long mared, hemia i save mekem se tufala i toktok gud tugeta.

4, 5. ?Fasin ya blong kasem save long narafala, i givhan long man mo woman olsem wanem? Yu talem sam eksampol.

⁴ Ol Proveb 16:20 (NW) i talem se: “Man we i traem kasem save long wan bisnes, bambae i faenem gudfala samting.” Hemia i tru long saed blong mared mo laef insaed long famle. (Ridim Ol Proveb 24:3.) Baebol nomo i givhan long yumi blong kasem save samting, mo i mekem yumi waes. Jenesis 2:18 i talem se, God i mekem woman blong i kam fren blong man blong hem, be tufala i no sem mak. Woman i soemaot samting ya, long fasin blong hem blong toktok wetem man blong hem. Yumi evriwan i gat ol defdefren fasin. Ol woman oli laekem blong tokbaot ol man, ol fren blong olgeta, mo oli laekem blong talemaot ol filing blong olgeta. Oli laekem taem man i lesin mo i soemaot se hem i kea long olgeta. Be ol man oli no olsem. Oli no talemaot tumas ol filing blong olgeta, be oli laekem moa blong tokbaot ol samting we oli mekem, ol trabol blong olgeta, mo samting we oli mekem blong winim ol trabol ya. Mo oli wantem se narafala i respektem olgeta.

⁵ Wan sista long Inglan i talem se: “Man blong mi i wantem stretem trabol kwiktaem nomo. Hem i no wantem harem tingting blong mi fastaem. Hemia i mekem se i had, from we mi mi wantem we hem i lesin long mi.” Wan man i talem se: “Taem mi mo woman blong mi, mitufala i jes mared, mi mi kwik blong faenem rod blong stretem trabol, taem mi luk se woman blong mi i harem nogud. Be biaen, mi luksave se woman blong mi i nidim nomo blong mi lesin long hem.” (Prov. 18:13; Jem. 1:19) Wan man we i kasem save long narafala, hem i luksave ol filing blong woman blong hem, mo hem i traem blong jenisim toktok blong hem, blong mekem i gud long woman blong hem. Mo long semtaem, hem i mekem woman blong hem i luksave se hem i tingbaot ol tingting mo ol filing blong hem. (1 Pita 3:7) Mo woman tu i mas kasem save long tingting blong man blong hem. Man mo woman tufala i mas kasem save long tufala, tufala i mas glad long wok blong tufala, mo tufala i mas mekem gud wok we Baebol i talem long tufala blong mekem. Sipos tufala i mekem ol samting ya, bambae tufala i glad long mared blong tufala. Mo bambae tufala i naf blong wok tugeta blong mekem ol desisen we oli waes.

6, 7. (1) ?Ol tok blong Prija 3:7 oli givhan long man mo woman blong tufala i luksave wanem? (2) ?Woman we i luksave samting, hem i mekem wanem? ?Mo wanem samting we wan man i mas mekem?

⁶ Mo tu, man mo woman we tufala i kasem save long tufala, tufala i luksave se ‘i gat taem blong stap kwaet, mo i gat taem blong toktok.’ (Pri. 3:1, 7) Wan sista we i mared 10 yia finis i talem se: “Naoia mi luksave se i gat sam taem we i no stret blong mi talem wan samting. Taem mi luk se man blong mi i bisi blong mekem wan wok, no hem i gat plante wok blong mekem, mi letem sam dei i pas bifo we mi tokbaot wan samting wetem hem. Taem mi mekem olsem, mi luk se mitufala i storian gud.” Ol woman we oli luksave samting, oli toktok kaen. Oli luksave se taem oli talem gudfala tok “long stret taem blong hem,” hemia i save mekem narafala i harem gud mo i glad.—Ridim Ol Proveb 15:23.

⁷ Wan Kristin man i mas lesin long samting we woman blong hem i talem. Be hem i mas talemaot klia ol tingting blong hem tu. Wan elda we i mared 27 yia finis i talem se: “Mi mi traehad blong talemaot long woman blong mi, samting we i stap long hat blong mi.” Wan brata we i mared 24 yia finis i talem se: “Taem i gat wan problem, mi mi no wantem talemaot tingting blong mi, from we mi ting se samting ya i save mekem problem ya i lus. Be biaen mi luksave se i no rong sipos mi talemaot tingting blong mi. Taem mi harem se i had blong talemaot tingting blong mi, mi prea long God, blong i givhan long mi  blong mi faenem ol stret tok we mi mas talem, mo blong mi toktok kaen. Biaen mi pulum gud win, nao mi stat blong talemaot tingting blong mi.” Samfala man mo woman oli luk se, stret taem blong oli save talemaot tingting blong olgeta, hemia taem oli ridim Baebol no vas blong dei tugeta.

8. ?Wanem samting we man mo woman tufala i mas mekem blong mared blong tufala i stap gud?

⁸ I impoten we Kristin man mo woman tufala i prea, mo tufala i traehad blong kamgud moa long fasin blong toktok gud tugeta. I tru se i had blong jenisim fasin blong tufala. Be sipos tufala i lavem Jehova, tufala i askem tabu spirit blong hem, mo tufala i tinghae long mared, bambae tufala i glad long mared blong tufala. Hemia wan samting we plante mared man tede oli no mekem. Wan woman we i gat 26 yia i talem se: “Mi wetem man blong mi, mitufala i traehad blong gat tingting blong Jehova. Taswe, mitufala i no gat tingting ya blong seraot. Samting ya i mekem se mitufala i toktok gud tugeta, mo mitufala i wok had blong traem faenem rod blong winim ol problem long mared blong mitufala.” Taem man mo woman i stap tru long tufala mo tufala i folem ol tingting blong God, mared blong tufala i stap gud from we God i blesem tufala.—Sam 127:1.

9, 10. ?Wanem sam samting we man mo woman tufala i save mekem blong tufala i lavlavem tufala moa?

⁹ Lav i “save joenemgud olgeta samting, blong oli kam wan.” Long wan mared, i impoten tumas blong gat fasin ya. (Kol. 3:14) Taem wan man mo woman i mared, tufala i mekem plante samting tugeta, nating se long gudtaem mo long hadtaem. Ale, from we tufala i spenem plante taem tugeta, lav we tufala i gat long tufala i stap kam bigwan moa oltaem. Tufala i fren gud moa, mo tufala i harem gud blong stap tugeta. I gat sam samting tu we i givhan long mared blong tufala blong i stap strong oltaem. Ol samting ya oli no ol bigfala samting we ol man long televisin no long muvi, oli talem. Be oli ol smosmol samting nomo olsem, tufala i putum han i goraon long tufala, tufala i talem sam swit tok long tufala, smael mo sam narafala samting olsem. Mo tu, maet tufala i talem wan tok olsem: ‘?Olsem wanem long dei blong yu?’ Ol smosmol samting olsem oli save mekem wan bigfala jenis long mared blong tufala. Wan man we i mared 19 yia finis, mo i glad long mared blong hem, i talem se: “Plante taem long dei, mi mo woman blong mi, mitufala i stap ring no sanem teks mesej long mitufala, blong faenemaot sipos evri samting i oraet.”

¹⁰ Lav i pulum man mo woman blong tufala i gohed blong save gud tufala. (Fil. 2:4) Taem tufala i save gud tufala, tufala i lavlavem tufala moa, nating se tufala i sinman. Wan mared i kam strong moa mo i kam gud moa, taem ol yia oli stap pas. Taswe, sipos yu yu mared finis, i gud yu askem se: ‘?Mi mi save gud man no woman blong mi? ?Mi mi kasem save long tingting mo filing blong hem? ?Mi mi stap tingbaot  yet ol fasin blong hem, we oli pulum mi blong mi laekem hem?’

11. ?From wanem i impoten tumas blong gat respek insaed long mared? Yu talem wan eksampol.

¹¹ Wan mared we i hapi, i no min se evri samting we tufala i mekem long mared blong tufala, bambae i stret gud olgeta. Mo tu, i no min se man mo woman we tufala i lavlavem tufala, bambae tufala i gat sem tingting long evri samting. Ebraham mo Sera tu, samtaem tufala i no agri long sam samting. (Jen. 21:9-11) Nating se i olsem, tufala i no letem samting ya i mekem se tufala i no moa fren gud. Tufala i kaen long tufala mo tufala i respektem tufala. Samtaem Ebraham i talem long Sera se “i gud yu talem.” (Jen. 12:11, 13) Sera tu i obei long Ebraham, mo hem i tingbaot Ebraham olsem “masta” blong hem. (1 Pita 3:6) Taem man mo woman tufala i no moa gat respek long tufala, ol man oli harem save long toktok blong tufala mo long voes blong tufala. (Prov. 12:18) Sipos tufala i no stretem trabol ya, mared blong tufala i save brok.—Ridim Jemes 3:7-10, 17, 18.

12. ?From wanem man mo woman we i jes mared, tufala i mas traehad blong toktok long tufala wetem respek?

¹² Man mo woman we tufala i jes mared, tufala i mas traehad blong toktok kaen, mo tufala i mas respektem tufala. Olsem nao, bambae tufala i no fraet blong talemaot tingting blong tufala, mo oltaem bambae tufala stap tok tru long tufala. Wan man i talem se: “I tru se long ol fas yia blong mared, bambae yu glad, be samtaem yu save harem nogud mo yu kam kros tu. Taem yu stat blong save gud filing blong woman blong yu, ol fasin blong hem, mo ol samting we hem i laekem, mo hem tu i save gud yu, tingting blong yu bambae i olbaot nomo. Be sipos yutufala i traehad blong gat longfala tingting, yutufala i toktok kwaet, toktok kaen, mo yutufala i dipen oltaem long Jehova, hemia bambae i givhan bigwan long yutufala long ol yia we oli kam biaen.” !Hemia i gud tumas!

13. ?From wanem i impoten blong gat tingting daon insaed long mared?

¹³ Fasin blong toktok gud tugeta i olsem wan reva we i ron kwaet nomo, i pastru long wan garen. Wan gudfala fasin bakegen we i givhan long man blong i toktok gud, hemia taem man i mekem ‘tingting blong hem i stap daon.’ (1 Pita 3:8) Wan brata we i mared 11 yia finis i talem se: “Tingting daon, hem i wan gudfala fasin we i givhan long man blong stretem trabol kwiktaem, from we hem i pulum man blong i talem se, ‘Mi mi sore.’” Wan elda we i mared 20 yia finis i talem se: “Plante taem, tok ya ‘Mi mi sore,’ i moa impoten i bitim tok ya ‘Mi mi lavem  yu.’” Hem i gohed i se: “Wan samting we i save givhan long man blong i gat tingting daon hemia prea. Taem mi mo woman blong mi mitufala i prea tugeta, hemia i givhan long mitufala blong tingbaot se mitufala i sinman. Mo hemia i givhan long mitufala tu blong tingbaot ol samting we Jehova i mekem long gladhat blong hem. Taem mi tingbaot ol gudfala samting olsem, hemia i givhan long mi blong mi gat stret tingting long evri samting.”

14. ?Man we i flas i save spolem mared olsem wanem?

¹⁴ Be man we i flas, oltaem hem i wantem win taem i gat wan trabol. Fasin ya i blokem man blong i no moa toktok, mo i blokem man tu blong i talem sore. Man olsem hem i no save talem se: “Mi sore, plis yu fogivim mi.” Be hem i mekem eskius from evri samting. Oltaem hem i talem se i fol blong narafala, i bitim we hem luksave ol mastik blong hem. Taem narafala i mekem hem i harem nogud, hem i no traem blong mekem pis. Be hem i kam kros, i talem ol strong tok, no maet i stap kwaet, i no moa wantem toktok. (Pri. 7:9) Flas tingting i olsem wan posen we i save kilim mared i ded. Yes hem i save spolem wan mared. Taswe, i gud blong tingbaot ol tok ya se: “God i agensem olgeta we oli praod, be long olgeta we tingting blong olgeta i stap daon, hem i stap givhan long olgeta long gladhat blong hem.”—Jem. 4:6.

15. ?Efesas 4:26, 27, i givhan olsem wanem blong stretem ol trabol we i kamaot long mared?

¹⁵ Man we i ting se fasin ya bambae i neva kamaot long mared blong hem, hem i krangke nomo. Yumi mas luksave sipos yumi gat fasin ya mo yumi mas kwik blong sakemaot. Pol i talem long ol narafala Kristin se: “Yufala i no stap kros, gogo kasem san i godaon. Yufala i mas no givim janis long Setan.” (Efes. 4:26, 27) Sipos man mo woman tufala i no folem ol tok blong God long Baebol, bambae tufala i harem nogud tumas. Wan sista i talem se: “Mi mo man blong mi, mitufala i no stap folem ol tok blong Efesas 4:26, 27. From samting ya, samtaem mi no slip long naet.” Tru ya, i moa gud blong tokbaot ol trabol kwiktaem mo traem faenem rod blong stretem. Taem man mo woman i kros, tufala i mas letem smol taem i pas blong tingting blong tufala i godaon. Mo i gud we tufala i prea blong askem long Jehova, blong i givhan long tufala blong gat gudfala tingting. Hemia i min se tufala wanwan i mas gat tingting daon tu. Olsem nao, bambae tufala i tingbaot moa blong stretem trabol, i bitim we tufala i tingbaot tufala nomo, nao tufala i mekem trabol i kam bigwan moa.—Ridim Kolosi 3:12; Efesas 4:32.

16. ?Tingting daon i save givhan olsem wanem long man mo woman?

¹⁶ Taem man mo woman tufala i gat tingting daon, hemia i givhan long tufala wanwan, blong tufala i tingbaot gudfala fasin blong narawan. Maet woman i gat gudhan blong mekem wan samting we i save givhan long famle blong hem. Sipos man blong hem i gat tingting daon, bambae hem i no gat tingting ya se woman blong hem i daonem hem. Be bambae hem i leftemap tingting blong woman blong hem, blong i yusum gud save ya we God i givim long hem. Hemia i soemaot se hem i tinghae long woman blong hem, mo i lukaot gud long hem. (Prov. 31:10, 28; Efes. 5:28, 29) Long sem fasin, woman we i gat tingting daon, bambae i lukaot gud se hem i no flas from we hem i gat gudhan blong mekem samting. Mo bambae hem i no daonem man blong hem. Yes, tufala i mas tingbaot se tufala i olsem “wan bodi nomo,” mo taem wan long tufala i harem nogud, narawan tu i harem nogud.—Mat. 19:4, 5.

17. ?Man mo woman tufala i save mekem wanem blong mared blong tufala i hapi, mo i leftemap nem blong Jehova?

¹⁷ Ating yu yu wantem se mared blong yu i olsem mared blong Ebraham mo Sera, mo Aesak mo Rebeka. Yu wantem se i hapi, i stap longtaem, mo i leftemap nem blong Jehova. Ale, yu mas tingbaot God long mared blong yu. Yu mas stadi long Baebol blong yu kam waes mo yu gat fasin ya blong kasem save long narafala. Jehova i stamba blong tru lav. Mo lav ya i olsem wan “faea we i laet bigwan.” Sipos yu wantem gat lav ya, yu mas gat tingting ya se yu laki blong gat wan gudfala man no woman olsem. (Sing 8:6) Yutufala i mas traehad blong gat tingting daon. Yutufala i mas respektem yutufala. Sipos yutufala i mekem ol samting ya, bambae yutufala i glad long mared blong yutufala, mo bambae yutufala i mekem Jehova tu i glad. (Prov. 27:11) Mo ating bambae yu gat sem tingting olsem wan man we i mared 27 yia finis, we i talem se: “Mi no save se laef blong mi bambae i olsem wanem, sipos woman blong mi i no stap. Mared blong mitufala i stap kam strong moa evri dei. Hemia from we mitufala i lavem Jehova mo mitufala i toktok gud tugeta oltaem.”