HELP FOR THE FAMILY | MARRIAGE
Alcohol Abuse in Marriage
Has your spouse expressed concern about your drinking habits? If so, there are some factors you should consider.
In this article
Alcohol abuse and marriage—a destructive mix
Alcohol abuse can lead to all sorts of health problems, including heart disease, cirrhosis of the liver, and cancer. But alcohol abuse is more than a health issue; it is also a marriage issue that raises the risk of domestic violence, financial problems, unfaithfulness, and divorce.
The Bible says that when alcohol is abused, “it bites like a serpent, and it secretes poison like a viper.” (Proverbs 23:32) How do you know if you are dependent on alcohol?
Are you dependent on alcohol?
The following questions can help you identify the symptoms:
Do you have trouble controlling your drinking?
Are you often thinking about when you will drink next?
Do you drink despite the problems that it causes in your life—including in your marriage?
Do you experience withdrawal symptoms when you try to quit?
Is your drinking a cause for arguments with your spouse?
Is your tolerance for alcohol greater than it used to be?
Do you sneak drinks or hide alcohol at home or at work?
If you answer yes to one or more of those questions, you could have become dependent on alcohol. You might have alcohol use disorder, also known as alcoholism.
Beware of denial
Has your spouse expressed concern about your drinking? If so, you may have tried to minimize or justify your behavior. You might have blamed others, including your spouse, by saying things such as:
“If you treated me better, I wouldn’t have to drink.”
“If you had my boss, you’d need to drink too.”
“I know plenty of people who drink more than I do.”
If you make statements like those, could you be putting your desire to drink above your desire to have a happy marriage? Which should be more important?
Bible principle: “The married man is anxious for . . . how he may gain the approval of his wife.”—1 Corinthians 7:33.
What you can do
Take your spouse’s concerns seriously. Even if your spouse is oversensitive to the issue, why not make adjustments? If you cannot do so—if you insist on drinking despite the anxiety that it causes your spouse—that in itself may indicate that alcohol has become a problem.
Bible principle: “Let each one keep seeking, not his own advantage, but that of the other person.”—1 Corinthians 10:24.
Get informed. To win a battle, a soldier needs to know the tactics of his enemy. You face a similar challenge—to conquer your enemy, you need to learn about the nature of alcoholism and how it ensnares people. You will also need to learn effective strategies to help you break any dependency on alcohol and to help you avoid relapse.
Bible principle: “Keep abstaining from fleshly desires, which wage war against you.”—1 Peter 2:11.
Get help. There are a number of health-care resources that focus on alcohol use disorder, including recovery programs, treatment centers, and hospitals. You can also reach out to a mature friend who can help you identify any underlying issues that contribute to your dependency on alcohol. Then call on this person when you feel an urge to return to your former habit.
Bible principle: “A true friend shows love at all times and is a brother who is born for times of distress.”—Proverbs 17:17.
Alcohol abuse is a complex subject that cannot be solved simply by reading a short article, nor can you conquer it simply by saying, “I’ll try to drink less.” However, you should be aware that how you address the issue affects more than your physical health—it also affects your marriage.
For more information: Read the following articles to learn how others have overcome alcohol abuse.
“I No Longer Feel Ashamed of Myself”
Also, watch the video ‘I Got Fed Up With My Lifestyle’