kai log jo laingik hamle ke shikar hote hain, woh bahot sharminda mehsoos karte hain aur woh shaayad khud ko iske liye dosh bhi dein. kairan par gaur keejiye, jo abhi 19 saal ki hai. jab woh 6 saal ki thi tab se lekar 13 saal ke hone tak uske saath laingik durvyavahar hua. woh kehti hai, “mujhe lagatar dosh ki bhaavna se ladna padta hai. main khud se poochhti hoon, ‘mainne itne saalon tak ye sab kyon hone diya?’”

agar aap bhi aisa mehsoos karte hain, to zara in baaton par dhyan deejiye:

• bachche sex karne ke liye na to shaareerik taur par, na hi jazbati taur par taiyar hote hain. unhein pata nahin hota ki iska kya matlab hai. isliye yah nahin kaha jaa sakta hai ki woh bhi iske liye raazee the. iska matlab hai ki bachche ke saath honevale durvyavahar ke liye woh khud doshi nahin hai.

• bachche aksar badon par bharosa karte hain aur gande logon ki chaalbaziyon se anjan hote hain, jis vajah se woh aasani se unke shikar ho jaate hain. maasoomiyat par adhikar naam ki angrezee kitab kehti hai, “bachchon ke saath laingik durvyavahar karnevale ‘bade chaalak’ hote hain aur ek bachcha unki chaalakiyon ke aage kuch nahin kar paata.”

• jab ek bachche ke saath zabardasti ki jaati hai, to shaayad us vakt uske andar laingik ichhayen jaag uthe. agar aapke saath aisa hua hai to yakeen rakhiye ki ismein aapka dosh nahin hai. darasal hamare shareer ko is tarah banaya gaya hai ki jab use kisi khaas tareeke se chhooa jaata hai to apne aap laingik ichhayen jaag uthti hain. iska yah matlab nahin ki aap us durvyavahar se raazee the ya iske liye aapko doshi thehraya jaa sakta hai.

sujhav: aapke saath jis umra mein durvyavahar hua tha, agar utni umra ke kisi bachche ko aap jaante hain to uske baare mein sochiye. khud se poochhiye, ‘agar is maasoom bachche ke saath koi durvyavahar ho to kya ise zimmedar thehrana sahi hoga?’

karen ne bhi aisa hi kiya. us vakt woh teen bachchon ki dekhbhal karne ka kaam kar rahi thi. unmein se ek bachcha kareeb chhe saal ka tha aur isi umra mein kairan ke saath durvyavahar hua tha. karen kehti hai, “mujhe ehsas hua ki is umra mein ek bachcha kitna bebas hota hai aur main bhi us vakt kitni bebas thi.”

hakeekat: jisne aapke saath yah galat kaam kiya vahi iske liye zimmedar hai aap nahin. bible kehti hai, “dusht ko apni hi dushtta ka fal milega.”—yahejkel 18:20.

kisi aise vyakti ko apne dil ki baat bataiye jo umra mein aapse bada ho aur jis par aap bharosa karte hon. aisa karne se aapka man halka hoga. bible batati hai, “mitra sab samyon mein prem rakhta hai, aur vipatti ke din bhaai ban jaata hai.”—neetivachan 17:17.

aapko shaayad lage ki jo hua us baare mein baat na karne mein hi bhalai hai. ho sakta hai, aapka khaamosh rehna ek aisi deevar ki tarah ho jo aapne apne chaaron taraf khadi ki ho taaki aapko aur chot na pahunche. lekin zara sochiye, jo deevar aapne apni suraksha ke liye khadi ki hai, vahi deevar doosron ke liye aap tak pahunchna aur aapki madad karna mushkil bana sakti hai.

janet naam ki ek javan ladki ki misal leejiye. jab usne apne saath huye laingik durvyavahar ke baare mein apni mammi ko bataya to use kaafi raahat mehsoos hui. woh kehti hai, “mere saath bahot chhoti umra mein laingik durvyavahar hua tha. yah us vyakti ne kiya tha jise main jaanti thi, bharosa karti thi. mainne kai saalon tak yah baat kisi ko nahin batayi. lekin fir ek din mainne apni mammi ko sabkuch bata diya aur mujhe aisa laga jaise mere kandhe se ek bhaari bojh utar gaya ho.”

apne anubhav se janet is baat ko samajh sakti hai ki kyon kuch log yah batane se jhijhakte hain ki unke saath durvyavahar hua hai. woh kehti hai, “is baare mein baat karna bada ajeeb lagta hai. lekin mere maamle mein, is dard ke saath jeena bahot mushkil tha. mere liye yahi achha tha ki bina der kiye main koi kadam uthaun.”

laingik durvyavahar ki vajah se shaayad aapne apne baare mein koi galat raay kaayam kar li ho. jaise, aap shaayad sochein ki aap kisi se pyar karne ya pyar paane ke laayak nahin, aap ekdam bekar hain aur sirf doosron ki havas poori karne ke liye zinda hain. magar jhooth ke is daldal se nikal aaiye kyonki ab ‘changa hone ka samay’ hai. (sabhopdeshak 3:3) aap kin baaton se change ho sakte hain?

bible ka adhyan. bible mein parmeshvar ke vichar diye hain aur ye bahot “shaktishali” hain. ye gehrai tak samayi hui baaton ko yahaan tak ki aapne apne baare mein jo galat raay kaam kar li hai use bhi jad se ukhaad sakte hain. (2 kurinthiyon 10:4, 5) udahran ke liye, in aayton ko padhiye aur inke baare mein sochiye: yashayah 41:10; yirmayah 31:3; malaki 3:16, 17; luka 12:6, 7; 1 yuhanna 3:19, 20.

prarthna. jab aapko lage ki aap kisi kaam ke nahin ya aapka man aapko dhikkarne lage to prarthna karke ‘apna bojh yahova par daal deejiye.’ (bhajan 55:22) kabhi yah mat sochiye ki aap akele hain!

mandli ke pracheen. ye maseehi bhaai ‘maano aandhi se chhipne ka sthan, aur bauchhar se aad hote’ hain. (yashayah 32:2) woh aapki madad kar sakte hain ki aap apne baare mein ek sahi nazriya rakhein aur beeti baatein peechhe chhodkar zindagi mein aage badhein.

achhi sangati. un bhaai-behenon par dhyan deejiye jo maseehiyon ke taur par ek achhi misal hain. gaur keejiye ki woh ek-doosre ke saath kaise pesh aate hain. samay ke guzarte aapko ehsas hoga ki sabhi log apne adhikar ka galat istemal nahin karte aur unke saath durvyavahar nahin karte jinse woh pyar karte hain.

tanya naam ki ek naujavan ladki ko isi baat ka ehsas hua. bachpan se woh kai aadmiyon ki havas ka shikar bani hai. woh kehti hai, “main jin aadmiyon ko achhi tarah jaanti thi unhonne hi mujhe dard diya.” lekin samay ke guzarte, tanya ko ehsas ho gaya ki aise bhi aadmi hain jo sachcha pyar karte hain. yah usne kaise jaana?

jab usne ek pati-patni ke saath samay bitaya jo maseehiyon ke taur par achhi misal rakhte the to tanya ka nazriya badal gaya. woh kehti hai, “main us bhaai ke vyavahar se dekh paayi ki sabhi aadmi khoonkhar nahin hote. ek pati hone ke naate woh apni patni ka bahot khyal rakhta hai aur uski hifazat karta hai theek jaisa parmeshvar ne patiyon se chaha tha.” *—ifisiyon 5:28, 29.