ek shaadishuda jode ke liye unki ruchi,aadatein aur unke vyavhar mein fark hona ek chunauti ho sakti hai. lekin kuch maamlein zyada naazuk ho sakte hain jaise:

•   rishtedaron ke saath vakt bitana

•   paison ka sahi istemal karna

•   bachche paida karne ka faisla lena

 aap kya kar sakte hain jab aapke aur apke saathi ke vichar aapas mein mel na khaayen?

•  aapko kya pata hona chahiye?

•  aap kya kar sakte hain?

 taal-mel hone ka matlab ek jaisa hona nahin hai. zaroori nahin ki aise pati-patni jinka taal-mel bahot achha hai, unke vichar bhi hamesha ek-doosre se mel khaayen.

 “main ek aise parivar mein badi hui jahaan hum ek-doosre ke saath bahot samay bitate the. chhuttiyon mein hum apne daada-daadi, chaacha-chaachi aur bhaai-behenon ke saath vakt bitate the. lekin mere pati ke parivar mein aisa kuch nahin hota tha. apne parivar ke saath ya door rehnevale rishtedaron ke saath kitna vakt bitana chahiye is baare mein hamare vichar kaafi alag the.“—tamara

 “meri aur meri patni ki parvarish alag-alag maahaul mein hui, is vajah se paise ke baare mein hamari soch ek doosre se alag thi. hamari shaadi ke kuch maheenon baad bhi paison ke maamle mein hamari bahas hoti rahi. kaafi baatcheet ke baad bhi hamari samasya door nahin hui.“—tyler

 kuch samasyayen aisi hoti hain jo maamooli samjhota karne se bhi nahin sulajhtin. udahran ke liye, agar saas-sasur beemar pad jaayen aur unhein madad ki zarurat pade, to aap kya kareinge? ya fir jab pati-patni mein se ek bachcha chahta hai aur doosra nahin, tab aap kya kareinge? *

 “mere aur meri patni ke beech bachche paida karne ke baare mein kai baar baatcheet hui. uski ichha is baare mein badhti jaa rahi thi lekin hamare vichar aapas mein mel nahin khaa rahe the. mujhe laga ki hum kisi faisle par nahin pahunch paayenge.“—alex

 alag nazriya hone ke baavjood bhi aapki shaadi kaamyab ho sakti hai. kuch visheshagyaon ka kehna hai ki agar aap kisi gambheer mudde par apne saathi se sehmat nahin ho paate, to apni baat manvane ke liye aapko kuch bhi karne ko taiyar rehna chahiye, fir chahe aapki shaadi hi kyon na toot jaaye. lekin agar aap aisa karte hain, to aap apni bhaavnaon ko zyada ahmiyat de rahe honge aur parmeshvar ke saamne kiye gaye shaadi ke vaade ko kam aank rahe honge.

 apni shaadi ke vaade ko nibhaiye. agar aap aapni shaadi ke vaade ke mutabik jeene ki koshish kareinge to isse aap donon milkar apni samasyaon ko suljha paayenge.

 bible ka siddhaant: “to woh ab do nahin rahe balki ek tan hain. isliye jise parmeshvar ne ek bandhan mein baandha hai, use koi insan alag na kare.”—matti 19:6

 soch-samajhkar yojna banaiye. maan leejiye ki ek saathi bachcha chahta hai par doosra nahin. aise mein kai saari baaton par dhyan dena zaroori hai, jaise:

•   aapka rishta kitna mazboot hai.

   kya aap apne shaadishuda jeevan mein bachche ko paalne ki zimmedari nibha paayenge?

•   maata-pita ki zimmedariyaan.

   ismein khaana, kapda aur rehne ki jagah ka intazam karne ke alava aur bhi bahot kuch shaamil hai.

•   aarthik haalaat

   kya aap apne kaam, parivar aur dusri zimmedariyon ke beech santulan banaye rakh paayenge?

 bible ka siddhaant: “tummein aisa kaun hai jo ek meenar banana chahta ho aur baithkar pehle ismein lagnevale kharch ka hisab na lagaye taaki dekhe ki use poora karne ke liye uske paas kaafi paisa hai ya nahin?”—luka 14:28

 maamle ke sabhi pehluon par dhyan deejiye. aap aise kuch maamlon ko suljha sakte hain jinmein shaayad aap donon ki soch naa milti ho. udahran ke liye, agar maamla bachche paida karne ka hai, to woh saathi jo aisa nahin chahta, khud se aage diye saval kar sakta hai:

•   ‘jab main aisa kehta hun ki mujhe bachche nahin chahiye, to kya iska matlab ye hai ki main kabhi-bhi  bachcha nahin chahta ya sirf abhi nahin ?’

•   ‘kya main hichkichata hoon kyonki mujhe dar hai ki main ek achha pita ya achhi maa nahin ban paaungi?’

•   ‘kya mujhe dar hai ki bachcha hone ke baad mera saathi mujh par dhyan nahin dega?’

 doosri taraf, jo saathi bachcha chahta hai woh khud se ye saval poochh sakta hai:

•   ‘kya hum maata-pita ki zimmedari nibhane ke liye taiyar hain?’

•   ‘kya bachche ko paalne ke liye hamari aarthik haalaat theek hai?’

 bible ka siddhaant: ‘jo buddhi swarg se milti hai woh lihaz karnevali hoti hai.‘—yakub 3:17.

 apne saathi ke nazariye ki kadar keejiye. do log ek hi drishya ko dekh rahe hain, par uske baare mein unke man mein alag-alag vichar hain. usi tarah kisi maamle ke baare mein pati aur patni ka nazriya alag-alag ho sakta hai. udahran ke liye, hamein paise ka kis tarah istemal karna chahiye, is baare mein donon ki soch mein fark ho sakta hai. aise maamlon ke baare mein un pehluon par baat karna shuroo keejiye, jinse aap sehmat hain.

•   aapke kaun se lakshya mel khaate hain?

•   aapka nazriya kyon faaydemand hai?

•   apne rishte ko aur mazboot banane ke liye, kya aap donon aapni soch mein ferbadal karne ke liye taiyar hain?

 bible ka siddhaant: “har koi apne faayde ki nahin balki doosre ke faayde ki sochta rahe.”—1 kurinthiyon 10:24