Ake sithi usubone umuntu okuthatha inhliziyo njalo lobabili selivumelene ukuthi lithandane ukuze lifundane libone ukuthi lingatshada yini. Kuyini okumele ukukhangelele ekuthandaneni kwenu?

Okusesihlokweni lesi

•  Lingafihlelani lutho

•  Lindelani ukuthi imibono yenu izatshiyana ngezinye izikhathi

•  Ukuthandana kwenu akusoze kuhlale kutshelela

 Nxa wena lalowo othandana laye lingaba ndawonye okwesikhathi esinengi, lizafundana beselisazana ngcono. Ezinye izinto uzazifunda ngokubona indlela omunye wakho enza ngayo ezimeni ezitshiyeneyo.

 Lanxa kunjalo kulezinye izinto okuzamele lixoxe ngazo. Ekuxoxeni kwenu zama ukuba lengqondo evulekileyo, ungaphongulandela imizwa yakho.

 Izinto lobabili elingaxoxa ngazo zingagoqela okulandelayo:

•   Imali. Ulezikwelede yini? Kukuthwalisa nzima yini ukusebenzisa kuhle imali? Nxa lingatshada lizabe liyisebenzisa njani imali?

•   Ezempilakahle. Uhlala ugulagula yini? Kulomkhuhlane oke wakuthwalisa nzima yini esikhathini esidlulileyo?

•   Elifuna ukukwenza empilweni. Kuyini ofuna ukukwenza empilweni? Kuyahambelana yini lalokho omunye wakho ahlele ukukwenza? Nxa selitshadile besekusenzakala ukuthi lehluleke ukugcwalisa lokho ebelikuhlelile, lizaqhubeka lithokoza yini?

•   Ezemuli. Ukhona yini emulini yangakini okukhangelelwe ukuthi umnakekele? Kukhangelelwe ukuthi umlandu lo uqhubeke ngawo yini lanxa usutshadile? Uyafuna yini ukuba labantwana? Nxa kunjalo ufuna abangaki?

 Lingafihlelani lutho nxa likhuluma ngezinto lezi. Ungafihli loba yini omunye wakho okumele abeyazi usenzela nje ukuthi ahlale ekuthanda.—KumaHebheru 13:18.

 Ongacabanga ngakho: Kuyini okumele ngibekwazi ngomuntu engithandana laye? Kuyini yena okumele abekwazi ngami? Ukungafihli lutho kuzalinceda njani ukuthi lihlale lithembana nxa selitshadile?

 Isimiso EsiseBhayibhilini: ‘Khulumani iqiniso.’—Kwabase-Efesu 4:25.

 “Inkazana ingabe icabanga ukuthi, ‘Ngemva kwezinyanga ezingu-6 ijaha lami lizangicela ukuthi sitshade,’ kodwa umfana yena angabe ezitshela ukuthi bazatshada ngemva komnyaka. Esimeni esinjalo inkazana ingacina isizwa ubuhlungu ngoba iyabe icabanga ukuthi bazatshada masinyane kodwa umfana yena ezithathela isikhathi sakhe. Kuqakathekile ukuthi bobabili babe ngqondonye endabeni le.”—U-Ariana, oselomnyaka etshadile

 Abantu batshiyene, yikho ungacabangi ukuthi wena lomuntu othandana laye lizahlala livumelana kukho konke futhi licabanga ngendlela efananayo. Amasiko kanye lendlela elakhuliswa ngayo kungabangela ukuthi libe lemibono etshiyeneyo.

 Ongacabanga ngakho: Nxa imibono yenu itshiyana, lizimisele yini ukubonisana ukuze kube lokuthula ingqe nje kungelasimiso esephuliweyo eBhayibhilini?

 Isimiso EsiseBhayibhilini: “Kakwaziwe ngabantu bonke ukuthi lina lingabantu abazwisisayo.”—KwabaseFiliphi 4:5.

 “Lanxa ungabe ucabanga ukuthi lifanelene, iqiniso yikuthi kukhona elitshiyene ngakho. Kuqakathekile sibili ukuthi libe lokuthile elihambelana kukho lalowo othandana laye kodwa okuqakatheke kakhulu yikunanzelela indlela enza ngayo nxa sekube lohlupho.”—UMatthew, oseleminyaka engu-5 etshadile.

 Ukuthandana kungalithathela isikhathi esinengi sokwenza ezinye izinto futhi kungabangela ukuthi kube lokukhathazeka lapha lalaphayana. Manje kuyini okungalinceda?

 Zibekeleni imingcele. Ungaphileli ukwenza izinto ezimayelana lothando lwenu uzukhohlwe ukuthi kulezinye izinto eziqakathekileyo empilweni okuhlanganisa labangane bakho. U-Alana oseleminyaka engu-5 etshadile uthi: “Uzaqhubeka ubadinga abangane bakho lanxa usutshadile futhi labo bazabe bekudinga. Yikho ungabalahli ngenxa yokuthi usuthole umuntu othandana laye.”

 Khumbula ukuthi lanxa usutshadile, kuzamele uzinike isikhathi sokwenza ezinye izinto empilweni. Ngakho kuqalise khathesi ukukwenza lokhu lisathandana.

 Ongacabanga ngakho: Uhlala ukhangelele ukuthi omunye wakho atshone elawe yini sonke isikhathi? Ucabanga ukuthi laye ukhangelele okunengi kakhulu kuwe yini? Lingenzani ukuze omunye wenu angacini ebona angani uthando lwenu selumdina kumbe selumthwalise nzima?

 Isimiso EsiseBhayibhilini: “Yonke into ilesikhathi sayo, kulesikhathi sawo wonke umsebenzi.”—UmTshumayeli 3:1.

 “Nxa abantu abathandanayo bangaphilela ukuzilibazisa, bazamangala ngoba emtshadweni akusoze kuhlale kunjalo. Kuhle ukuthi abantu abathandanayo benze leminye imisebenzi enjengokukhonza ndawonye, ukuthenga izinto ezithile leminye nje imisebenzi yangekhaya. Nxa bangenza njalo bayabe bewulungiselela kuhle umtshado wabo.”—UDaniel, oseleminyaka emibili etshadile.

 Khumbulani ukuthi isikhathi sokuthandana ngesokuhlola ukuthi umuntu lo othandana laye uyafanela yini ukuthi utshade laye loba hatshi. Kungxenye 3 uzabona ukuthi yiziphi ezinye izinto okumele ucabangisise ngazo ungakasenzi isinqumo lesi.