1-3. Abatjhadileko baqalana naziphi iintjhijilo? (Qala isithombe esisekuthomeni.)

“NEWUHLALA uzikhandla, ulinga ngakho koke okusemandlenakho bona umtjhadwakho uphumelele, uzobuzwa ubumnandi besibusiso sakaJehova.” Lawo mamezwi wendoda eseyineminyaka ema-38 ithabile emtjhandwenayo. Nangambala, yinto engenzeka ngamadoda nabafazi ukuthi babe neenkhathi ezimnandi emtjhadweni nangokusekelana nakuvela ubudisi.—IzA. 18:22.

² Akurari-ke nokho ukuthi ngezinye iinkhathi abatjhadilekwaba bazokuqalana “nemiraro eminengi epilweni.” (1 Kor. 7:28) Lokho kungenzeka nengabe kuhlala kuneenkinga zangamalanga ezinyefisa isibopho somtjhado. Ukuphulwa emoyeni, ukungazwisisani kuhle nokurhitjhana okungabangelwa lilimi elinesono, ziintjijilo eziwunyefisa ukunyefa umtjhado. (Jak. 3:2, 5, 8) Eminye imindeni itjharaganiswa misebenzi nokusororha abantwana. Ukugandeleleka nokudinwa nakho kungomunye umraro obadlela isikhathi abasitlhogako labo abatjhadileko ekutheni baqinise umtjhado wabo. Ingasaphathwa yeenkolodo, imiraro yezamaphilo nezinye iintjhijilo, ziliqeda nya ithando nehlonipho kilaba ababili. Isisekelo samambala somtjhado loyo ebesibonakala siqinile, singavele sibharasiswe ‘misebenzi  yenyama’ enjengobufebe, amanyala, inzondo, ukucabana, umona, kubanga imiguruguru, nokuphikisana.—Gal. 5:19-21.

³ Yeke, ukuthi siphila ‘emihleni yokuphela’ kubonakala ngabantu abamarhamaru nabanemikghwa yobuSathana ekhamba iveza ihloko emtjhadweni. (2 Thim. 3:1-4) Kodwana ngaphezu kwakho koke lokho, umtjhado kufanele uwanyamezelele woke amadubulo anjalo alethwa linabakazi elikhohlakelekweli. Umpostoli uPitrosi uthi nakasiyelelisako: “Isitha senu uSathana utjhagala hlangana nani njengwenyama ebhodlako, efuna ezomrhiribidela.”—1 Pit. 5:8; IsAm. 12:12.

4. Kungenzeka njani bona umtjhado uhlale uqinile begodu uthabise?

⁴ Enye indoda yeJapani iyavuma nayithi: “Bengivele ngehloko eenkolodweni. Ngebanga lokuthi bengingakukhulumi nonakwami lokho, naye wanyekele wagandeleleka. Umphumela walokho kwaba kugula okubuhlungu. Ngikhuluma nje, khekwenzeke sirhitjhane ngebanga lokugandelelekokhu.” Eminye imiraro emtjhadweni angekhe yabalekelwa lula, kodwana lokho akutjho ukuthi ayisararuluki. UJehova angabasiza abatjhadileko bathabe, baqinise nesibopho sabo sobunye. (Funda iRhubo 127:1.) Nje-ke, akhesithi mbondombondo ngeentina ezihlanu ezingokomoya zokwakha umtjhado wamlibe. Bese emaswapheleni sizokukhuluma ngethando elilidaka lesamende elihlanganisa iintinezo.

5, 6. Abatjhadileko bangenzani ukuze bafake uJehova emtjhadwenabo?

⁵ Ilitje elisisekelo emtjhadweni, kuthembeka nokuzithoba kuMsunguli womtjhado. (Funda uMtjhumayeli 4:12.) Amadoda nabafazi bangamema uJehova emtjhadwenabo ngokuthi balandele ilayelo lakhe. IBhayibheli nayikhuluma ngabantu bakaZimu bakade ithi: “Nanijikela ngesidleni namkha ngesinceleni, iindlebe zenu zizakuzwa ilizwi ngemva kwenu lisithi: ‘Nasi indlela: Khambani kiyo.’” (Isa. 30:20, 21) Namhlanjesi, abatjhadileko bangalizwa ngokuthi bafunde iBhayibheli ndawonye. (Rhu. 1:1-3) Okungale kwalokho isibophwesi bangasiqinisa ngokuKhulekela komNdeni okuzobakha ngokomoya. Nokuthandaza ndawonye mihle namalanga kuyawuqinisa umtjhado, ujamelane neenthiyo ezirhagele ephasini lakaSathana.

⁶ UGerhard weJarimani uthi: “Ngesinye nesinye isikhathi lokha nasikwatisene ngebanga lokungazwisisani kuhle, iliZwi lakaZimu belisikhalima, lisisize sibekezelelane besilibalelane. Lezi zizinto eziqakatheke khulu ekwenzeni umtjhado uphumelele.” Abatjhadileko nabalinga ngamandla ukubandakanya noZimu emtjhadwenabo ngokuthi bamlotjhe babambisene, nakanjani bazokubumbana naye, bathabe njengombana nobuhlobo babo buqina.

7. Amadoda kufuze abusebenzise njani ubuhloko bawo?

⁷ Indlela indoda ebusebenzisa ngayo ubuhloko bayo, ngikho okuzokutjho ukuthi umtjhado uyaphumelela bewuthabise. IBhayibheli lithi: “Ihloko yenye nenye indoda nguKrestu, ihloko yomfazi yindoda.” (1 Kor. 11:3) Umongo wendaba le ulemukisa amadoda ukuthi ubuhloko kufuze abusebenzise njengoKrestu, njengombana naye awaphatha kuhle amadoda. UJesu akhange khekagandelele umuntu namkha amphudlhele, kunalokho bekahlala anethando, isineke, acabangela, anomoya ophasi, begodu athobekile nehliziyweni.—Mat. 11:28-30.

8. Indoda ingalizuza njani ithando nehlonipho kumkayo?

 ⁸ Amadoda amaKrestu kufuze angayifuni ngekani ihlonipho ebafazini bawo. Esikhundleni salokho, kufuze aphilisane nabo “ngokubazwisisa,” abacabangele “ngokwazi bona babuthakathaka.” (1 Pit. 3:7) Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi baphakathi kwabantu namkha babodwa, amadoda kufuze ahlale abatjela amagama amnandi abafazi bawo, kucace ukuthi baligugu kangangani kiwo. (IzA. 31:28) Lokho nakanjani kuyomenza ayihloniphe bekayithande indodakwakhe umfazi, kulethe nesibusiso sakaZimu emtjhadwenabo.

9. Umfazi angabonisa njani ukuthi uyazithoba?

⁹ Ukungazikhuji kwethu endleleni esimthanda ngayo uJehova kusisiza sizithobe ngaphasi kwesandla sakhe esinamandla. (1 Pit. 5:6) Yeke, indlela eqakathekileko umfazi atjengisa ngayo ukuthi uyalihlonipha igunya lakaJehova, kulokha nakabambisana kuhle nehlelo lomndeni. IBhayibheli lithi: “Bafazi, thobelani amadoda wenu ngombana kuyifanelo yenu eKosini.” (Kol. 3:18) Khona vele angekhe satjho ukuthi zoke iinqunto ezithathwa yindoda zizokuzwakala kuhle kumkayo. Kodwana, iinqunto zayo nazingatjhayisani nemithetho kaZimu, umfazi ozithobako uzokugoba, akhambisane nazo.—1 Pit. 3:1.

10. Kuqakatheke ngani ukuzithoba ngokusuka ehliziyweni?

¹⁰ Umfazi naye udlala yakhe indima ehloniphekileko njengombana ‘amfazi’ wendoda. (Mal. 2:14) Naye uyalibeka lobubodlhana malungana neenqunto ezithathwako emndenini, kodwana lokho ukwenza ngehlonipho nangokuzithoba, aveze amazizo wakhe. Indoda ehlakaniphileko izomlalela ngomnqopho wokumzwisisa umkayo. (IzA. 31:10-31) Imbuyiselo yokuzithoba okuvela ehliziyweni kuzokuba lithabo, ukuthula, nokubambisana okuhle emndenini, begodu indoda nomkayo bazokwaneliseka ngokwazi ukuthi bathabisa uZimu.—Efe. 5:22.

11. Kuqakatheke ngani ukulibalela?

¹¹ Esinye seentina eziqakathekileko  ekwenzeni umtjhado uphumelele, kulibalelana. Isibopho somtjhado siyaqina lokha indoda nomkayo nabahlala ‘babekezelelana . . . bebalibalelane.’ (Kol. 3:13) Ngakwelinye ihlangothi, ubudlelwano bomtjhado buyanyefa nengabe kuhlala kuvuswa nezakade esezalungiswa qobe navane kurarenwe. Njengombana amabharasi agedlisa umakhiwo, kunjalo nangokukwatelana nokubambana ngehliziyo omunye nakenze umtjhapho. Kungakhula bekube sezingeni lokuthi kube budisi ukulibalela. Yeke, umtjhado uqiniswa kulokha indoda nomkayo nabaphathana kuhle bebalibalelane njengombana noJehova asenza kibo.—Mik. 7:18, 19.

12. Ithando lizisibekela njani “izono ezinengi”?

¹² Ithando lamambala “alibibhi imilandu,” ngani ngoba ithando “lisibekela izono ezinengi.” (1 Kor. 13:4, 5; funda 1 Pitrosi 4:8.) Ngamanye amagama, ithando alinamibandela ekutheni minengi kangangani imitjhapho okufuze ilitjalelwe. Nangesikhathi umpostoli uPitrosi abuza ukuthi kufuze amlibalele kangakhi umuntu, uJesu wathi nakamphendulako: ‘Ngokubuyelelwe ngamatjhumi alikhomba nakhomba.’ (Mat. 18:21, 22) Lokhu bekuveza ukuthi umKrestu akukafaneli abe nomkhawulo wokulibalela abanye.—IzA. 10:12. *

13. Singalwisana njani nomukghwa wokubhalelwa kulibalela?

¹³ U-Annette uthi: “Nengabe abatjhadileko babhalelwa kulibalelana, kuzokuthoma kube nelaka nokungathembani, bese lokho kuyawulimaza umtjhado. Kodwana ukulibalelana kuyawuqinisa, kwenze nalaba ababili babumbane.” Nawufuna ukulwisana nomukghwa lo, linga ukusebenzela ekutheni uhlale uthabile. Kwenze isiga ukuhlala umtjela amagama amnandi umkakho namkha ubabakwakho, umthokoze ngokusuka ehliziyweni. (Kol. 3:15) Nawenze njalo, uzobuzwa ubumnandi bokuhlala ngobunye, neembusiso ezivela kuZimu malungana nalabo abazimisele ukulibalela.—Rom. 14:19.

14, 15. Uyini umThetho weGolide, begodu usebenza njani emtjhadweni?

¹⁴ Soke-nje siyakuthanda ukuhlonitjhwa nokuba nesithunzi. Bese kuba mnandi khulu-ke lokha umuntu nekazimisele ukukulalela, azwisise nalokho okutjhoko. Kodwana wakhe wamuzwa na, umuntu athi, “Manje nami ngifuna khengimzwise into angenze yona”? Nanyana lokho kungezwakala kufaneleka ngezinye iinkhathi, iBhayibheli liyasikhalima nalithi: “Ungathi: ‘Ngizamenza angenze sona.’” (IzA. 24:29) Ngikho uJesu anyula indlela engcono khulu yokulungisa iinkinga. Indlela leyo yaziwa khulu begodu ivame ukubizwa ngokuthi mThetho weGolide othi: “Yenza kabanye njengombana nawe ungathanda bona benze kuwe.” (Luk. 6:31) UJesu bekatjho ukuthi abantu kufuze sibaphathe ngendlela nathi esingathanda ukuphathwa ngayo, kunokuthi sibuyiselele ubumbi ngobumbi. Nemtjhadweni-ke kunjalo, kufuze ngaso soke isikhathi sakhele phezu kwalokho ebesinethemba lakho ngesikhathi sisathoma ubuhlobo bethu.

¹⁵ Abantu abatjhadileko babuqinisa khulu ubuhlobo babo lokha nebatjhejanako endleleni omunye azizwa ngayo ngento ethileko. Enye indoda yeSewula  Afrika ithi: “Sizamile ukusebenzisa umThetho weGolide. Iqiniso likukuthi ngas’ khathi khesikwatisane, kodwana sihlala silinga ngazo zoke iindlela ukuthi omunye aphathe omunye ngendlela naye angathanda ukuphathwa ngayo—ngehlonipho nangesithunzi.”

16. Ngikuphi abatjhadileko okungakafaneli benzane khona?

¹⁶ Ungathomi umehlise isithunzi umuntwakho namkha umhlazise—ungadlali nokudlala ngento enjalo! Khumbula ukuthi umtjhado akusiliphaliswano lokuthi ngubani onamandla kunomunye, ngubani ongarasa ukudlula umunye, namkha ngubani ohlakaniphe khulu. Siyavuma ukuthi soke sikhamba sitjhapha, nokuthi siyabakwatisa abanye. Kodwana lokho akutjho ukuthi indoda ihlabe umkayo ngamagama namkha kube mfazi okhuluma kumbi endodeni—ingasaphathwa yokusunduzana nokubethana.—Funda izAga 17:27; 31:26.

17. Amadoda angawusebenzisa njani umThetho weGolide?

¹⁷ Nanyana kwamanye amasiko kujayelekile ukuthi indoda yindoda ngokuba nekani namkha ngokubetha umkayo, iBhayibheli alikuvumi nakancani lokho nayithi: “Kungcono obuthaka ekusilingekeni kunengorho, nokwazi ukuzibamba kunofuna ukuthumba idorobho.” (IzA. 16:32) Yeke, madoda kufuze sizikhandle kwamambala nasifuna ukufana nekutana eyakhe yaphila nephasini uJesu Krestu, sikghone ukuzibamba. Indoda tlhorisa umkayo ngamezwi namkha ngokumbetha yimbi khulu, begodu ingazimotjhela nobuhlobo bayo noJehova. Umrhubi uDavida naye ebekayindoda enamandla nesibindi wathi: “Lokha nanithathekileko, ningoni; zindlani ngalokho emikghadinenu nibe nokuthula.”—Rhu. 4:5. [4:4, NW].

18. Kuqakatheke ngani ukuthi abatjhadileko bahlale bathandana?

¹⁸ Funda 1 Korinte 13:4-7. Ithando liqakatheke khulu emtjhadweni. “Yembathani isirhawu, ukulunga, ukuthobeka, ubumnene nokubekezela. Ngaphezu kwakho koke lokhu, zembathiseni ngethando lona elibopha koke ndawonye kuzwane.” (Kol. 3:12, 14) Ithando lokuzidela elifana nelakaKrestu linjengedaka elihlanganisa iintina zomtjhado oqinileko. Umtjhado wakhona uzokuhlala uphumelela naphezu kwemitjhapho yabantu, imiraro yezamaphilo, iinkinga zezeemali, neentjhijilo ezibanga ziinhlobo.

19, 20. (a) Abatjhadileko bangawakha njani umtjhado oqinileko nothabisako? (b) Kuzokukhulunywa ngani esihlokweni esilandelako?

¹⁹ Khona siyavuma ukuthi kutlhoga ithando lamambala, ukuzikhandla nokuzinikela umtjhado nawuzakuphumelela. Yeke, kunokuthi niwuqede umtjhadweni ngebanga leenkinga, zimiseleni ukuqinisa ubuhlobo benu nibenze buthuthuke ngaso soke isikhathi. AmaKrestu atjhadileko athandanako, nazinikele kuJehova ahlala akhuthazwa lithando lawo ngoZimu, begodu lokho kuwasiza nokuthi akghone ukuqalana nobudisi, basebenzise ithando ngombana “ithando alihluleki.”—1 Kor. 13:8; Mat. 19:5, 6; Heb. 13:4.

²⁰ Ukwakha umtjhado oqinileko nothabisako kunzinyana ‘esikhathini esibudisi’ esiphila kiswesi. (2 Thim. 3:1) Kodwana uyakheka umtjhado onjalo ngesizo lakaJehova. Nanyana kunjalo, abatjhadileko kusafuze baqalane neentjhijilo zephasi elonakelekweli. Yeke, isihloko esilandelako sizokukhuluma ngokuthi amadoda nabafazi bangaliqinisa njani iboda elingokomfanekiso elivikela umtjhado wabo.