Mutu 6

Kodi Ndingatani Kuti Ndizigwirizana Ndi Abale Anga?

Kodi munganene chiyani mutafunsidwa ngati mumagwirizana ndi abale anu?

□ Timagwirizana kwambiri

□ Nthawi zina timagwirizana

□ Timangopirirana

□ Timangokhalira kukangana

ANTHU ena amagwirizana kwambiri ndi abale awo. Mwachitsanzo, mtsikana wina wazaka 19, dzina lake Felicia ananena kuti: “Mng’ono wanga wazaka 16, dzina lake Irena, ndi mnzanga kwambiri.” Ndipo mtsikana wina wazaka 17, dzina lake Carly, ali ndi mchimwene wake wazaka 20, dzina lake Eric. Carly ananena kuti: “Timagwirizana kwambiri moti sitinamenyanepo.”

Komabe anthu ambiri sagwirizana kwenikweni ngati mmene zilili pakati pa Lauren ndi Marla. Lauren anati: “Sitichedwa kukangana ndipo nthawi zina timakangana ngakhale pa nkhani zachabechabe.” Mwina mukukumana ndi vuto limene mtsikana  wina wazaka 12, dzina lake Alice akukumana nalo. Iye anadandaula za mchimwene wake wazaka 14, dzina lake Dennis, kuti: “Amachita zondipsetsa mtima kwambiri. Amangolowa kuchipinda kwanga osagogoda komanso nthawi zina amangotenga zinthu zanga osapempha ndipo sabweza. Amangochita zinthu ngati kamwana.”

Kodi muli ndi m’bale wanu amene zochita zake zimakupsetsani mtima? N’zoona kuti ndi udindo wa makolo anu kukhazikitsa mtendere pakhomopo. Komabe nanunso muyenera kuphunzira kukhala mwamtendere ndi anthu ena. Khalidwe limeneli muyenera kuliphunzira mudakali pakhomo pa makolo anu.

Ganizirani za nthawi imene munakanganapo ndi mchemwali kapena mchimwene wanu. Kodi nthawi zambiri mumakangana nkhani zanji? Onani zimene zalembedwa m’munsimu ndipo ikani chizindikiro ichi ✔ pamene pali zinthu zimene zimakupsetsani mtima.

□ Zinthu zanu. Amangotenga zinthu zanu osapempha.

□ Khalidwe. Ndi wodzikonda, amachita zinthu mosaganiza ndiponso amafuna muzingoyendera maganizo ake.

 □ Alibe ulemu. Amangolowa kuchipinda kwanu osagogoda, amawerenga ma imelo kapena mameseji anu osapempha.

□ Zina ․․․․․

Zingakhale zosavuta kusunga chakukhosi ngati m’bale wanu amachita zokupsetsani mtima kapena ngati amafuna kuti muzingoyendera maganizo ake. Koma Baibulo limanena kuti: “Mphuno ukaifinya imatulutsa magazi, ndipo kutulutsa mkwiyo kumayambitsa mkangano.” (Miyambo 30:33) Kusunga chakukhosi kungapangitse kuti tsiku lina mudzakangane ndipo izi n’zofanana ndi kufinya mphuno komwe kungapangitse kuti mutuluke magazi. Zimenezi zingangochititsa kuti zinthu zifike poipa. (Miyambo 26:21) Kodi mungatani kuti kukhumudwa kwanu kusachititse kuti mukangane? Choyamba muyenera kuzindikira chinthu chenicheni chimene chayambitsa vutolo.

Zindikirani Chimene Chayambitsa Vutolo

Mavuto amene amakhalapo pakati pa munthu ndi m’bale wake ali ngati thuza. Thuza limaoneka ngati chiphuphu wamba, komatu thuza limatuluka chifukwa chakuti pamalopo palowa majeremusi. N’chimodzimodzinso ndi kukangana kwa anthu apachibale. Nthawi zambiri mkangano umayamba chifukwa chakuti pali vuto linalake.

Mukakhala ndi thuza mumalakalaka kungolipsinya. Koma kuchita zimenezi sikungathetse vutolo. Kungangochititsa kuti pamalopo pakhale chipsera kapena majeremusiwo afalikire. Njira yabwino ingakhale kupeza mankhwala amene angaphe majeremusiwo zomwe zingachititse kuti vutolo litheretu. N’chimodzimodzinso ndi mmene mungathetsere mavuto amene mumakhala nawo ndi abale anu. Muziyesetsa kupeza chenicheni chimene chayambitsa vutolo.  Zimenezi zingachititse kuti musangoganizira za zimene munthuyo wachita koma kumvetsa zimene zamuchititsa. Zingakuthandizeninso kutsatira malangizo anzeru a Mfumu Solomo akuti: “Kuzindikira kumachititsa munthu kubweza mkwiyo wake.”​—Miyambo 19:11.

Mwachitsanzo, paja Alice anadandaula kuti mchimwene wake Dennis ‘amangolowa kuchipinda kwake osagogoda komanso nthawi zina amangotenga zinthu zake osapempha ndipo sabweza.’ Kodi mukuganiza kuti vuto pamenepa ndi chiyani? Mosakayikira Dennis alibe ulemu. Alice akhoza kungomuuza Dennis kuti asadzalowenso kuchipinda kwake kapena kutenganso zinthu zake. Koma kuchita zimenezi sikungathetse vutolo ndipo kungangoyambitsanso mkangano wina. Koma ngati Alice atakambirana bwinobwino ndi Dennis kuti azimupatsa ulemu komanso asamangotenga zinthu zake, akhoza kuyamba kugwirizana.

Muziyesetsa Kuthetsa Komanso Kupewa Mikangano

Ngati mwadziwa chimene chimachititsa kuti muzikangana ndi m’bale wanu ndiye kuti mwayamba kupeza njira yothetsera vuto. Ndiye mungatani kuti vutolo litheretu komanso kuti muzipewa kukangana? Yesani kutsatira mfundo 6 zotsatirazi.

1. Ikani mfundo zoti nonse muzitsatira. Kumbukirani zimene mwalemba zija zomwe zimachititsa kuti muzikangana ndi m’bale wanu. Yesani kukambirana ndi m’bale wanuyo mfundo zomwe nonse mukhoza kumatsatira zimene zingathetse vutolo. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mumakonda kukangana chifukwa chakuti wina amakonda kutenga zinthu za mnzake osapempha, Mfundo Yoyamba ikhoza kukhala yakuti: “Aliyense azipempha asanatenge chinthu cha mnzake.” Mfundo Yachiwiri ikhoza kukhala yakuti: “Ukapempha chinthu cha m’bale wako uzimvera ngati wakukaniza.”  Mukamakhazikitsa mfundo zimenezi muzikumbukira zimene Yesu ananena kuti: “Zinthu zonse zimene mukufuna kuti anthu akuchitireni, inunso muwachitire zomwezo.” (Mateyu 7:12) Mukamachita zimenezi mudzakhazikitsa mfundo zoti nonse mukhoza kuzitsatira. Kenako, kambiranani ndi makolo anu kuti aone ngati mfundo zanuzo zili bwino.​—Aefeso 6:1.

2. Inunso muziyesetsa kutsatira mfundozo. Mtumwi Paulo analemba kuti: “Kodi iwe wophunzitsa enawe, sudziphunzitsa wekha? Iwe amene umalalikira kuti “Usabe,” umabanso kodi?” (Aroma 2:21) Kodi mfundo imeneyi ingakuthandizeni bwanji? Ngati mukufuna kuti m’bale wanu azikupatsani ulemu muziyamba ndi inuyo. Mwachitsanzo, muzigogoda mukamalowa kuchipinda chake kapena muzipempha kaye musanawerenge imelo kapena mameseji ake.

3. Musamakwiye msanga. N’chifukwa chiyani kutsatira mfundo imeneyi kuli kothandiza? Chifukwa chakuti Baibulo limati: “Anthu opusa ndi amene sachedwa kupsa mtima.” (Mlaliki 7:9) Ngati simuchedwa kupsa mtima simungakhale wosangalala. N’zoona kuti abale anu azilankhula kapena kuchita zinthu zokupsetsani mtima. Koma mungachite bwino kudzifunsa kuti: ‘Kodi ineyo sindinawachitireko zinthu zopsetsa mtima?’ (Mateyu 7:1-5) Mtsikana wina, dzina lake Jenny, ananena kuti: “Pamene ndinali ndi zaka 13 ndinkaona kuti ndine wanzeru komanso kuti aliyense ayenera kutsatira zimene ndanena. Panopa mng’ono wanga amachitanso zomwezo. Choncho sindikhumudwa ndi zimene amanena.”

4. Muzikhululuka komanso kuiwala. Mukasemphana maganizo mumafunika kukambirana  n’kuthetsa nkhaniyo. Komatu si bwino kumangokambirana chilichonse chomwe m’bale wanu walakwitsa, chifukwa Yehova Mulungu amasangalala mukakhala ndi mtima ‘wonyalanyaza cholakwa.’ (Miyambo 19:11) Mtsikana wina wazaka 19, dzina lake Alison, ananena kuti: “Ine ndi mng’ono wanga Rachel timakambirana bwinobwino tikasemphana maganizo. Timapepesana n’kukambirana zimene tikuona kuti zatichititsa kusemphana maganizo. Nthawi zina sindikambirana naye tsiku lomwelo zimene zachitikazo pofuna kuti ndiiganizire bwino nkhaniyo. Ndiyeno tsiku lotsatira zimangokhala ngati sizinachitike n’komwe moti ndimakhululuka komanso kungoiwala.”

5. Makolo anu azikhala ngati am’khalapakati. Ngati mukulephera kukambirana ndi m’bale wanu pa nkhani inayake imene mwasemphana maganizo, mwina makolo anu akhoza kukuthandizani.  (Aroma 14:19) Koma dziwani kuti ngati mumatha kukambirana bwinobwino ndi m’bale wanu mukasemphana maganizo popanda thandizo la makolo anu ndiye kuti mukukula.

6. Muziona makhalidwe abwino a abale anu. Mosakayikira abale anu ali ndi makhalidwe enaake abwino amene mumasirira. Lembani chinthu chimodzi chomwe chimakusangalatsani ndi m’bale wanu aliyense.

Dzina Chimene chimandisangalatsa

․․․․․ ․․․․․

M’malo momangoganizira kwambiri zimene m’bale wanu amalakwitsa, mungachite bwino kupeza nthawi yomuuza makhalidwe ake abwino omwe amakusangalatsani.​—Salimo 130:3; Miyambo 15:23.

Baibulo limavomereza mfundo yakuti nthawi zina m’bale wanu sangakhale mnzanu wapamtima. (Miyambo 18:24) Komabe mukhoza kumakondana kwambiri ngati mupitiriza “kulolerana ndi kukhululukirana ndi mtima wonse” ngakhale kuti inuyo mungakhale ndi “chifukwa chodandaulira” za m’bale wanuyo. (Akolose 3:13) Mukamatsatira mfundo imeneyi nawonso abale anuwo azipewa kuchita zinthu zokukhumudwitsani ndipo nanunso muzipewa kuwakhumudwitsa.

M’MUTU WOTSATIRA

Kodi mungadziwe bwanji kuti mwakonzeka kusamuka pakhomo pa makolo n’kukakhala panokha?

LEMBA

“Anthu onse adziwe kuti ndinu ololera.”​—Afilipi 4:5.

MFUNDO YOTHANDIZA

Ngati muli ndi m’bale wanu amene simuchedwa kukangana naye, dziwani kuti akukuthandizani kukhala ndi makhalidwe omwe adzakuthandizeni m’tsogolo.

KODI MUKUDZIWA . . . ?

Mukadzachoka pakhomo n’kumakakhala panokha muzikakhala ndi anthu amene nthawi zina azidzachita zinthu zokukhumudwitsani, zamwano komanso zodzikonda. Anthu amenewa akhoza kukhala amene muzikagwira nawo ntchito kapena kucheza nawo. Ndiye panopa, pamene mukukhala ndi makolo anu, mungachite bwino kuphunzira mmene mungathetsere mavuto ngati amenewa.

ZOTI NDICHITE

Mfundo zimene ndingakonde kuti ndizitsatira ndi azibale anga: ․․․․․

Ndikhoza kupewa kukhumudwitsa azibale anga ngati: ․․․․․

Zimene ndikufuna kufunsa makolo anga pa nkhaniyi: ․․․․․

KODI INUYO MUKUGANIZA BWANJI?

● N’chifukwa chiyani kuzindikira chimene chimayambitsa vuto n’kofunika kwambiri?

● Kodi kukhala ndi abale anu n’kothandiza bwanji?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 46]

“Ndimaona kuti ndikanakhala kuti ndilibe abale anga, sindikanadziwa zinthu zina zosangalatsa kwambiri. Achinyamata amene ali ndi abale awo ndingawauze kuti, ‘Muzinyadira kuti muli ndi abale anu.”​—Anatero Marilyn

 [Bokosi patsamba 42]

Zoti Muchite

Dziwani Chimene Chimayambitsa Vutolo

Kodi mukufuna kudziwa zimene mungachite kuti musamavutike kuzindikira zomwe zimachititsa kuti muzisemphana maganizo ndi abale anu? Werengani fanizo limene Yesu ananena la mnyamata wina amene anachoka pakhomo n’kukawononga chuma chimene makolo ake anam’patsa. (Luka 15:11-32) Mukamawerenga nkhaniyi yesani kuona zimene mkulu wake wa mnyamatayo anachita mng’ono wake atabwerera kwawo. Kenako yankhani mafunso ali m’munsiwa.

Kodi n’chiyani chinachititsa kuti mkulu wake wa mnyamatayu akhumudwe? ․․․․․

Kodi mukuganiza kuti vuto linali chiyani? ․․․․․

Kodi bambo wa anyamatawa anachita chiyani pofuna kuthetsa vutolo? ․․․․․

Kodi mkulu wake wa mnyamatayu anafunika kuchita chiyani kuti athetse vutolo? ․․․․․

Tsopano taganizirani zimene zinakuchititsani kuti mukangane ndi m’bale wanu posachedwapa. Ndiyeno yankhani mafunso ali m’munsiwa.

Kodi n’chiyani chinachititsa kuti mukangane? ․․․․․

Kodi mukuganiza kuti vuto linali chiyani? ․․․․․

Kodi mungakhazikitse mfundo zotani kuti muthetse vutolo komanso kuti muzipewa kukangana? ․․․․․

[Chithunzi patsamba 43]

Mavuto amene amakhalapo pakati pa munthu ndi m’bale wake ali ngati thuza. Choncho kuti muthetse mavutowo muyenera kuthana ndi zimene zimayambitsa vutolo