Achinyamata Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Mnzanga Amene Ndimagona Naye M’chipinda Chimodzi Ndingagwirizane Naye Bwanji?

“Ndinkafuna kuti khichini izikhala yaudongo. Koma anzanga, ankangosiya mbale zili mbwee kapena mapoto ali pachitofu ndipo sizinkawakhudza n’komwe.”—Anatero Lynn. *

ANTHU okhala m’chipinda chimodzi. “Angakhale okondana kwambiri kapena odana kwambiri,” anatero wolemba nkhani wina Kevin Scoleri. Mwina inuyo simunachite kufika pamenepa, komabe palibe angatsutse kuti kukhala m’chipinda chimodzi ndi munthu wina n’kovuta kwambiri. * N’kofala kuona ophunzira a pa yunivesite ogona m’chipinda chimodzi akukangana, moti malinga ndi zimene lipoti la U.S.News & World Report linanena, sukulu zambiri “zikuyesetsa” kuthandiza ophunzira amene amagona m’chipinda chimodzi kuti azikhala mogwirizana komanso zili ndi ‘mapulogalamu ndiponso misonkhano yothetsa mikangano.’

Kukhala m’nyumba imodzi kungakhalenso kovuta ngakhale kwa achinyamata achikristu amene achoka panyumba kuti akachite ntchito yolalikira yanthaŵi zonse. Komabe ndi bwino kukumbukira kuti nthaŵi zambiri tingathetse mikangano mwa kugwiritsa ntchito mfundo za makhalidwe abwino za m’Baibulo ndiponso mwa kusonyeza “nzeru yeniyeni.”—Miyambo 2:7.

Dziŵanani Bwinobwino

Chisangalalo chakuti mwasamuka chikatha, mungayambe kulakalaka momwe mumakhalira kunyumba kwanu. (Numeri 11:4, 5) Koma, mukamangokhalira kuganizira zinthu zakale, simungazoloŵereko mwamsanga kumene mukukhalako. Lemba la Mlaliki 7:10 limatilangiza kuti: “Usanene Kodi bwanji masiku akale anapambana ano? Pakuti suli kufunsa mwanzeru pamenepo.” Inde, ndi bwino kuyesetsa kukometsa kumene mwasamukirako.

Choyamba, yesetsani kumudziŵa mnzanu amene muzikhala nayeyo. Ndi zoona kuti sikofunika kuti anthu okhala m’chipinda chimodzi akhale mabwenzi kwambiri. Ndipotu akhoza kukhala amene simucheza naye. Komabe, ngati mukukhala ndi munthu wotereyu, kodi si koyenera kuyesetsa kugwirizana naye?

Afilipi 2:4, amatiuza kusapenyerera ‘za ife tokha, koma tipenyererenso za anzathu.’ Popanda kukambirana ngati m’khoti, mungafunse mnzanuyo za banja lake, ntchito imene amagwira, zolinga ndiponso zokonda zake. Uzanani za moyo wanu. Mukadziŵana bwino ndi mnzanuyo, mumamvetsetsana.

Nthaŵi zina, panganani kuchitira zinthu pamodzi. Lee anati: “Nthaŵi zina ndimatengana ndi anzanga amene ndimagona nawo m’chipinda chimodzi n’kukadya ku malo ena, kapena timapita limodzi kukaona malo amene amasungirako ziboliboli.” Kwa Akristu ogona m’chipinda chimodzi, kuchitira pamodzi zinthu zauzimu, monga kukonzekera misonkhano  ya mpingo kapena ntchito yolalikira, ndi njira imodzi yabwino kwambiri yolimbikitsira ubwenzi wawo.

David anati: “Mnzanga amene ndimakhala naye akakhala ndi nkhani ya Baibulo kumpingo kwake, ndinkapita naye limodzi kumpingo kwawo kukam’limbikitsa.” Ngakhale kuti iye amakonda zinthu zosiyana ndi mnzakeyo pankhani zina monga zamaseŵero ndiponso nyimbo, iwo amagwirizana chifukwa amakonda zinthu zauzimu. David anati: “Timakambirana nkhani zambiri zauzimu. Mpaka dzuŵa lingathe kuloŵa tikayamba kucheza nkhani zauzimu.”

Koma chenjezo n’lakuti: Musachite kunyanyira kum’konda mnzanu amene mumagona naye m’chipinda chimodzi mwakuti mpaka n’kufika pomalephera kucheza ndi anthu ena. Mnzanuyo akayamba kuona kuti mumafuna kuti azikuitanani kulikonse kumene akupita, iye angayambe kuganiza kuti simum’patsa mpata. Baibulo limatilangiza kuti tizicheza ndi anthu osiyanasiyana.—2 Akorinto 6:13.

Kuchitira Ena Zomwe Tikufuna Kuti Atichitire

N’zoona kuti pamene mukudziŵana ndi mnzanuyo, mudzadziŵanso kusiyana kwa zochita zanu, zokonda ndiponso maganizo. Mnyamata wina, dzina lake Mark, analangiza kuti, “musayembekezere kuti mnzanuyo sazilakwitsa zinthu.” Kusakhala wololera kapena wongomva zanu zokha kumabweretsa mavuto. Chimodzimodzinso kuyembekezera kuti mnzanuyo asinthe kwambiri zochita zake kuti agwirizane ndi zochita zanu.

Fernando waona kuti zimenezi n’zoona atakhala ndi munthu wina m’chipinda chimodzi. Ndipo anati: “Si bwino kukhala wadyera ndi wodzikonda.” Mawu akeŵa akugwirizana ndi langizo lotchuka kwambiri limene limati: “Zinthu zilizonse mukafuna kuti anthu achitire inu, inunso muwachitire iwo zotero.” (Mateyu 7:12) Mwachitsanzo, Fernando atangoyamba kukhala limodzi ndi mnzakeyo anapeza kuti iye sankagwirizana ndi mnzake amene amagona nayeyo pankhani yakuti iyeyo ankafuna kuti m’chipindamo muzikhala mozizira kwambiri akamagona. Kodi analithetsa motani vutoli? Fernando anati: “Ndinangogula bulangete basi.” Inde, monga ananenera Mark, “khalani wololera. Sikuti muyenera kusiya zonse zimene mumakonda, koma mungafunike kusiya zina mwa izo.”

Nayi njira ina imene mungagwiritsire ntchito langizo lochitira ena zomwe timafuna kuti azitichitira: Lolerani zokonda za mnzanuyo. Mwachitsanzo, bwanji ngati simukonda nyimbo zimene iye amakonda? Ndiye kuti nayensotu sakonda nyimbo zanu. Choncho ngati mukuona kuti nyimbo zimene mnzanuyo amakonda si zoipa, ndibwino kungozoloŵerana nazo basi. Fernando anati: “Ndikanasangalala mnzangayu akanati azikonda nyimbo zimene ineyo ndimakonda. Koma tsopano ndangozoloŵera nyimbo zimene amakonda.” Komanso munthu angasangalale kumvetsera nyimbo zimene amakonda mogwiritsa ntchito mahedifoni kuti asasokoneze mnzake amene akuŵerenga.

Kugwiritsa ntchito langizo lochitira ena zomwe tikufuna kuti atichitire kungatithandizenso kuti tisamangokangana chifukwa chosagwirizana pa nkhani ya zinthu zimene tili nazo m’nyumbamo. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mumakonda kumangodya zinthu za m’nyumbamo popanda kuguliramo zina—mungakwiyitse mnzanuyo. Komanso, simungakhale wogwirizana ngati mumakwiya kapena kuyang’ana mnzanuyo mom’zonda akangotengapo chinachake chimene munagula. Baibulo limatilimbikitsa “kukhala owoloŵa manja, okonzeka kugaŵira ena.” (1 Timoteo 6:18, NW) Ngati mukuona kuti mnzanuyo amakudyerani masuku pamutu, musangokhala duu. M’fotokozereni vuto lanu modekha ndi mwachikondi.

 Muzilemekeza zinthu za mnzanuyo. N’kudzikuza kungotenga chinthu popanda kum’pempha mwini wake. (Miyambo 11:2) Komanso kumbukirani kuti mnzanuyo amafuna kuchita zinthu zina popanda wina kum’sokoneza. M’chitireni ulemu m’zinthu zazing’ono monga kugogoda musanaloŵe m’chipinda mwake. Mukam’lemekeza mnzanu amene mumakhala naye, mosakayikira nayenso angachite chimodzimodzi. David anati: “Tonse timatha kumaŵerengera m’nyumbamo popanda vuto lililonse. Tonse timadziŵa kuti ndibwino kuganizirana pankhani imeneyi ndipo wina sasokosera mnzake akamaŵerenga. Komabe nthaŵi zina ndimakangoŵerengera ku laibulale podziŵa kuti mwina mnzangayo angafune kuchita zinthu zina zimene akufuna.”

Kugwiritsa ntchito langizo lochitira ena zomwe tikufuna kuti atichitire kumaphatikizaponso kukhala wodalirika pankhani zina monga kupereka ndalama za lendi panthaŵi yake kapena kuthandizana kugwira ntchito zapakhomo.

Kuthetsa Mikangano

Kale m’nthaŵi za m’Baibulo, amuna aŵiri achikristu olemekezeka otchedwa Paulo ndi Barnaba ‘anapsetsana mtima.’ (Machitidwe 15:39) Kodi inuyo ndi mnzanuyo mungatani ngati zimenezi zitakuchitikirani? Mwina mumasiyana maganizo kapena mnzanuyo amachita zimene sizikukondweretsani ndipo zimafika poti simungalezenso mtima. Kodi kusagwirizana pankhani ina kapena kukambirana mwaukali kukutanthauza kuti muyenera kusiya kugona m’chipinda chimodzi? Ayi, sizikutanthauza choncho. Paulo ndi Barnaba anathetsa mkangano wawowo. Mwina inunso mungachite zomwezo musanafike pakuti mpaka muchite kusamuka. Nazi mfundo zina za m’Baibulo zimene zingathandize.

● ‘Musachite kanthu monga mwa chotetana, kapena monga mwa ulemerero wopanda pake, komatu ndi kudzichepetsa mtima, yense ayese anzake om’posa iye mwini.”—Afilipi 2:3.

● “Chiwawo chonse, ndi kupsa mtima, ndi mkwiyo, ndi chiwawa, ndi mwano zichotsedwe kwa inu, ndiponso choipa chonse. Koma mukhalirane okoma wina ndi mnzake, a mtima wachifundo, akukhululukirana nokha, monganso Mulungu mwa Kristu anakhululukira inu.”—Aefeso 4:31, 32.

● “Chifukwa chake ngati ulikupereka mtulo wako pa guwa la nsembe, ndipo pomwepo ukakumbukira kuti mbale wako ali ndi kanthu pa iwe, usiye pomwepo mtulo wako kuguwako, nuchoke, nuyambe kuyanjana ndi mbale wako, ndipo pamenepo idza nupereke mtulo wako.”—Mateyu 5:23, 24; Aefeso 4:26.

Phindu Lokhalira Pamodzi

Achinyamata ambiri achikristu (ndiponso achikulireko) amene amakhala ndi munthu wina m’chipinda chimodzi aona okha kuti mawu a mfumu yanzeru Solomo, akuti: “Aŵiri aposa mmodzi” ndi oona. (Mlaliki 4:9) Inde, ambiri aona kuti kukhala m’chipinda chimodzi ndi mnzawo n’kopindulitsa. Mark anati: “Ndaphunzira kukhala bwino ndi anthu ndiponso kusintha zochita zanga kuti tiyenerane.” Renee anawonjezera kuti: “Umadzidziŵa wekha bwino kwambiri. Komanso, anthu okhalira pamodzi angakhale mabwenzi abwino olimbikitsana kuchita zabwino.” Lynn anavomereza kuti: “Ndinali wodzikonda kwambiri pamene ndinkayamba kukhala ndi anzanga m’chipinda chimodzi. Koma ndaphunzira kusakhala waliuma kwambiri. Tsopano ndadziŵa kuti wina akamachita zinthu mosiyana ndi mmene ndimachitira, sizitanthauza kuti akulakwa.”

Inde, kukhala bwino ndi mnzanu m’chipinda chimodzi kumafunika khama ndiponso kudzimana. Koma ngati mulimbikira kugwiritsa ntchito mfundo za makhalidwe abwino za m’Baibulo, mudzapindula kwambiri osati kukhalira limodzi mwamtendere kokha; mwina muthanso kuona kuti kukhalira limodzi ndi munthu wina m’chipinda chimodzi n’kosangalatsa.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 17]

Kutenga zinthu zimene si zanu kungayambitse mkangano

[Chithunzi patsamba 18]

Muzichita zinthu moganizirana