Achinyamata Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndingatani Kuti Ndikhale Wokongola Kwambiri?

“Zinkandivuta ndiponso ndinkamangika pocheza ndi atsikana. Sindinkadziŵa zimene anali kuganiza, momwe ankamvera, kapena mmene ankaonera zinthu.”—Anatero Tyler

KODI atsikana amafuna anyamata amakhalidwe otani makamaka? Emily anati: “Kusadzikayikira.” Mtsikana winanso dzina lake Robyn anati mnyamata amene amafuna, choyamba ayenera kukhala wokonda nthabwala. Nanga anyamata amakonda atsikana amakhalidwe otani? N’zosadabwitsa kuti kafukufuku wina anasonyeza kuti kukongola ndiko kunali patsogolo pa zonse. Kugwirizana zokonda ndiponso maganizo pa zinthu zimene zili zofunika kwambiri pamoyo kunali chinthu cha chisanu ndi chimodzi.

Nkhani ndiponso kafukufuku wokhudza ubwenzi wa anyamata kapenanso atsikana zimapezeka kwambiri m’magazini a achinyamata. N’zosachita kufunsa kuti achinyamata ambiri amaganizira kwambiri za momwe anyamata kapena atsikana amawaonera, mwinanso amada nkhaŵa kumene. Mwina inunso nthaŵi zina mumada nkhaŵa ndi zimenezi. Sindiye kuti mwafika msinkhu wokwatira ayi. Kungoti palibe munthu amene amafuna kukhala wosaoneka bwino kapena woti ena azinyansidwa naye. Tyler anati: “Ukakhala wachinyamata, umafuna kuti aliyense aziona kuti ndiwe wokongola. Umafuna kuti anzako, amuna ndi akazi omwe, azikukonda.” Komanso, mungaone kuti m’tsogolo mudzafuna kupeza munthu wabwino womanga naye banja. Nthaŵi imeneyo ikadzakwana, mosakayikira mungadzafune kuti munthu amene mukufunayo akopeke nanu.

Komabe, monga Mkristu wachinyamata, mwina simunazoloŵere kucheza ndi anthu amene si amuna kapena akazi anzanu. Mwinanso achinyamata anzanu amakukakamizani kuti muzioneka bwino. Malinga n’kuchuluka kwa zithunzi za anthu okongola kwambiri ndiponso anthu azimatupi zamphamvu kwambiri amene mumawaona pa TV ndi m’magazini, mpake kuti mungadzikayikire ndiponso mungaone kuti simukukwanira pa zimene anthu amafuna. Choncho, kodi mungatani kuti mukhale wokongola kwa ena ngakhale kwa amene si amuna kapena akazi anzanu?

N’kupusa Kufuna Kukhala ndi Thupi Limene Amati “Langwiro”

William S. Pollack yemwe ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo pa chipatala china anati, chifukwa choonera anthu ochita zosangalatsa, achinyamata ambiri “amawononga nthaŵi yambiri posala kudya, kuchita maseŵera onyamula zinthu zolemera, ndi kuchita maseŵera olimbitsa thupi povina n’cholinga chakuti asinthe kukula ndiponso maonekedwe a matupi awo.” Ena mpaka afika podziondetseratu ndi njala, kuti akhale ndi thupi “langwiro” limeneli. Koma bungwe lofufuza nkhani za umoyo wa anthu la Social Issues Research Centre linati: “Ndi akazi 5 okha pa akazi 100 alionse amene angakhaledi ndi thupi limene nkhani zofalitsidwa za masiku ano zimati n’loyenerera kwa akazi ndipotu apa tikungonena za kulemera ndi kukula kwake basi. Ndi mkazi mmodzi yekha pa akazi 100 alionse amene angakhaledi ndi thupi lotero, nkhope yotero ndi zinthu zinanso zotero.”

Choncho, zimene Baibulo limatilangiza pa Aroma 12:2 n’zothandiza. Lembali limati: “Musamatsanzira  makhalidwe oipa a dziko lino lapansi.” (Chipangano Chatsopano Cholembedwa m’Chicheŵa cha Makono) Komabe zimenezi sizikutanthauza kuti musamasamalire maonekedwe anu. Ndi bwino kusamalira thupi lanu mwakuchita maseŵera olimbitsa thupi moyenera ndiponso kudya zakudya za magulu atatu. (Aroma 12:1; 1 Timoteo 4:8) Kupuma ndi kugona mokwanira kungathandizenso kuti muzioneka bwino ndiponso muzipeza bwino. Komanso khalani aukhondo ndiponso muzisamba n’kumaoneka bwino. Mnyamata wina wa ku Britain dzina lake David anati: “Pali mtsikana wina wokongola kwambiri, koma amanunkha thukuta. Anthu amam’thaŵa chifukwa cha zimenezi.” Choncho muzisamba kaŵirikaŵiri. Kukhala ndi manja oyera bwino, tsitsi losamalidwa bwino, ndiponso kuŵenga zala kungathandize kuti muzioneka bwino kwambiri.

Ngakhale kuti Baibulo limatiuza kuti tisamalimbane kwambiri ndi nkhani ya zovala zathu, limalangiza Akristu ‘kudziveka okha ndi chovala choyenera, ndi manyazi, ndi chiletso.’ (1 Timoteo 2:9) Valani zovala zabwino ndi zopatsa ulemu zokukhalani bwino. * Kusamalira mokwanira maonekedwe anu kungakuthandizeni kuti musamadzikayikire. Mnyamata wina dzina lake Paul ananena kuti: “N’kutheka kuti simuli wokongola mocheukitsa anthu koma mungathe kuoneka bwino podzisamalira.”

Mtima wa Munthu

Ngakhale kuti nkhope ndi thupi lokongola zimatenga anthu mtima, m’kupita kwa nthaŵi “kukongola kungonyenga.” (Miyambo 31:30) Kukongola sikukhalitsa, ndipo sikungaloŵe m’malo mwa makhalidwe abwino a munthu. (Miyambo 11:22) Kumbukiraninso kuti, “munthu ayang’ana chooneka ndi maso, koma Yehova ayang’ana mumtima.” (1 Samueli 16:7) Choncho m’malo molimbana kwambiri ndi kusamalira maonekedwe a thupi lanu kapena mphamvu zanu, limbikirani kukongoletsa “munthu wobisika wamtima, m’chovala chosaola cha mzimu wofatsa ndi wachete, ndiwo wa mtengo wake wapatali pamaso pa Mulungu.” (1 Petro 3:3, 4; Aefeso 4:24) Inde, masiku ano achinyamata ambiri alibe nawo ntchito makhalidwe abwino, ndipo tikanena za makhalidwe auzimu ndiye chisimu. * Koma amene ali ndi makhalidwe a Mulungu amakonda makhalidweŵa ndipo amaona kuti anthu amene ali ndi makhalidwe otere ndi okongola.

Chotero, njira yabwino kuti tikhale okongola kwa amuna ndi akazi achikristu ndiyo kuyamba ife eni kukonda zinthu zauzimu. Kulitsani uzimu wanu mwa pemphero, phunziro laumwini la Baibulo, ndi kupezeka pamisonkhano yachikristu. (Salmo 1:1-3) Komabe, mungakulitsenso maluso ndi makhalidwe ena abwino. Makhalidwe ameneŵa salira kukhala ndi chibwenzi. Koma mungathe kuwaonetsa tsiku lililonse pochita zinthu ndi anthu ena.

Mwachitsanzo, kodi mumamangika ndiponso kuchita manyazi mukakhala pakati pa anthu amene si amuna kapena akazi anzanu? Mnyamata wina dzina lake Paul anati: “Nthaŵi zina ndimamangika ndikakhala ndi atsikana popeza sindinazoloŵerane nawo ngati anyamata. Ndipo sindifuna kudzichititsa manyazi.” Kodi mungatani kuti mukhale wosadzikayikira ndi wokhazikika maganizo kuti anthu ena azimasuka nanu? Njira ina ndiyo kucheza ndi anthu osiyanasiyana mumpingo wachikristu. Pamisonkhano chitani chidwi ndi anthu enanso monga ana, akulu, ndi okalamba omwe osati anthu amsinkhu wanu okha amene si amuna kapena akazi anzanu. (Afilipi 2:4) Kucheza bwino ndi anthu otereŵa kudzakuthandizani kukhala wosadzikayikira.

Komano samalani. Yesu ananena kuti: ‘Uzikonda mnzako monga udzikonda iwemwini.’ (Mateyu 19:19) Ngati simumadzikayikira, mumayenera kukhala wokhazikika maganizo ndi womasuka pakati pa anthu. * Komabe, ngakhale kuti ndi bwino pena kumadzidalirako, musapitirire muyeso. Mtumwi Paulo anati: “Ndiuza munthu aliyense wa inu, kuti asadziyese koposa kumene ayenera kudziyesa.”—Aroma 12:3.

Dziyang’aneni moona mtima ngati muli ndi makhalidwe abwino ndiponso ngati mumacheza bwino ndi anthu ena. Mtsikana wina wa ku Britain dzina lake Lydia anati: “Ku sukulu kwathu kuli mnyamata wina amene atsikana ambiri amamukonda. Koma atsikanaŵa akam’dziŵa bwino khalidwe lake samukondanso chifukwa ndi wamwano ndiponso amanena zinthu mosasamala.” Anthu amakonda munthu amene amalankhula mokoma mtima, mwaulemu ndiponso amene amalingalira ena. (Aefeso 4:29, 32; 5:3, 4) “Makhalidwe abwino ali ngati chiphaso, chimene chimam’patsa munthu ufulu ndiponso kumasuka ndi anthu ena,” anatero Dr. T. Berry Brazelton. Khalidwe labwino “n’lofunika kuti ena atikonde.”

 Chikhalidwe ndiponso malamulo amakhalidwe abwino amasiyanasiyana padziko lonse. Choncho ndi bwino kuti muziona momwe amuna ndi akazi olimba m’Chikristu amachitira zinthu ndi anzawo. Mwachitsanzo, kodi n’zofala m’dziko lanu mwamuna kutsegulira mkazi chitseko? Ndiye kutitu mutamachita zimenezi mungakhale ndi mbiri yakuti ndinu munthu wolingalira ena ndiponso wakhalidwe.

Pomaliza, ndi bwinonso nthaŵi zina kumachitako nthabwala. Baibulo limati pali “mphindi yakuseka,” ndipo munthu wanthabwala savutika kupeza anzake.—Mlaliki 3:1, 4.

Kucheza Kumasiyana ndi Kunyengerera

Buku lina lonena “chimene chimapangitsa chibwenzi kukhala chabwino” linati chinsinsi chokopa mwamuna kapena mkazi ndicho kum’nyengerera mukamacheza. Anthu oŵerenga zimenezi anauzidwa kuti azisekerera ndi kumamuyang’ana munthuyo m’maso komanso ‘mawu oyambira nkhani zawo’ azikhala abwino kwambiri. Malangizo ameneŵa ndi osiyana kwambiri ndi zimene Paulo analangiza Timoteo kuti azichitira anthu amene si akazi anzake “m’kuyera mtima konse.”—1 Timoteo 5:2.

Ngakhale kuti kunyengerera kungapangitse munthu kudzimva kuti iyeyo mpatali, kutero n’kunamiza munthu ndiponso sichilungamo ayi. Simuyenera kuchita kunyengerera munthu kuti muthe kucheza naye nkhani yosangalatsa. Komanso simuyenera kuchita kum’funsa mafunso ochititsa manyazi kapena osayenera kuti mudziŵe momwe munthu amene si mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzanu amamvera ndiponso kuganizira. Muzikambirana zinthu ‘zolungama, zoyera ndi zokongola,’ zokhazokha ndipo mudzasonyeza kuti mudzakhaladi mwamuna kapena mkazi wokhwima wokonda zinthu zauzimu. (Afilipi 4:8) Kutsatira mfundo za makhalidwe abwino za Mulungu kudzakuthandizani kuoneka bwino kwa anthu amene si amuna kapena akazi anzanu komanso kwa Mulungu weniweniyo. *—Miyambo 1:7-9.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Zithunzi patsamba 31]

Musalimbane kwambiri ndi kusamalira za maonekedwe anu, koma muzilimbana ndi kukhala ndi makhalidwe auzimu

[Chithunzi patsamba 31]

Phunzirani kucheza momasuka ndi anthu osiyanasiyana