Zimene Achinyamata Amadzifunsa

N’chifukwa chiyani ndimangokhalira kukangana ndi makolo anga?

M’nkhani ili m’munsiyi, Rachel wachita zinthu zitatu zomwe zinapangitsa kuti akangane ndi makolo ake. Kodi mungazitchule? Lembani mayankho anu pansipa ndipo yerekezerani mayankho anuwo ndi zimene zili m’bokosi ­lakuti “Mayankho” kumapeto kwa nkhani ino.

Ndi lachitatu madzulo. Rachel, yemwe ali ndi zaka 17, wamaliza kugwira ntchito zapakhomo ndipo akuona kuti ndi nthawi yakuti apume. Iye akuyatsa TV ndipo kenako akukakhala pa mpando umene amaukonda kwambiri.

Pasanapite nthawi, mayi ake akutulukira ndipo akuwoneka okhumudwa. Kenako akuyamba kukalipira mwana wawoyo kuti, “Iwe Rachel! N’chifukwa chiyani ukungoonera TV m’malo moti uzikathandiza mchemwali wako homuweki? N’chifukwa chiyani suchita zimene wauzidwa?”

Mong’ung’uza Rachel akuti, “Iii, paja nanu.”

Mokalipa mayi akewo akumufunsa kuti, “Wati chiyani?”

Iye akuyankha akupumira m’mwamba kwinaku ataipitsa nkhope n’kunena kuti, “Ine sindinanene chilichonse.”

Apa mayiwo akwiya kwambiri ndipo akunena kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani sundipatsa ulemu.”

Rachel akuyankha kuti, “Inunso simundipatsa ulemu”

Zimenezi zikuchititsa kuti Rachel asakhalenso ndi nthawi yopuma.

1. ․․․․․

2. ․․․․․

3. ․․․․․

KODI nkhani ngati imene ili pamwambayi inakuchitikiranipo? Kodi nthawi zambiri mumangokhalira kukangana ndi makolo anu? Ngati mumatero, fufuzani kuti mudziwe zinthu zimene zimachititsa kuti muzikangana. Kodi ndi zinthu ziti zimene zimachititsa kuti muzikangana nthawi zambiri? Chongani kumanjaku zinthu zimene zimachititsa kuti muzikangana kapena lembani yankho lanu padanga lakuti “Zina.”

◯ Khalidwe

◯ Ntchito zapanyumba

◯ Zovala

◯ Nthawi yofikira panyumba

◯ Zosangalatsa

◯ Anzanu

◯ Kucheza ndi anyamata kapena atsikana

◯ Zina

 Kaya chimene chimachititsa kuti muzikangana ndi makolo anu n’chiyani, dziwani kuti kukangana si kwabwino. Komabe zimenezi sizikutanthauza kuti muzinamizira kuti mukugwirizana ndi chilichonse chimene makolo anu akukuuzani. Mulungu safuna kuti muzichita zimenezi chifukwa Baibulo limanena kuti: “Lemekeza atate wako ndi amayi wako.” (Aefeso 6:2, 3) Ndiponso limalimbikitsa achinyamata kuti aziyesetsa “kugwiritsa ntchito luntha la kulingalira.” (Aroma 12:1; Miyambo 1:1-4) Kuchita zimenezi kungachititse kuti nthawi zina muzisemphana maganizo ndi makolo anu. Komabe, mabanja amene amatsatira mfundo za m’Baibulo, makolo ndi ana awo amalankhulana mwamtendere, ngakhale kuti mwina sagwirizana pa zina ndi zina.—Akolose 3:13.

Kodi mungafotokoze bwanji maganizo anu popanda kukangana ndi makolo anu? N’zosavuta kunena kuti: “Makolo anga ndi amene ali ndi vuto. Ndipo nthawi zonse amakhalira kundiuza zochita.” Kunena zoona n’zovuta kusintha khalidwe la anthu ena, kuphatikizapo makolo anu. Munthu amene ayenera kusintha ndi inuyo. Ubwino wake ndi wakuti, ngati mutayesetsa kupewa kukangana ndi makolo anu, iwo angasinthenso ndipo angayambe kumakumvetserani mukamafotokoza maganizo anu.

Tsopano tiyeni tione zimene mungachite kuti musamakangane ndi makolo anu. Ngati mutatsatira mfundo zimene zili m’munsizi, inuyo ndi makolo anu mudzaona kuti mukulankhulana bwinobwino popanda kukangana.

(Yesani izi: Chongani mfundo zimene mukuona kuti zikuthandizani.)

◯ Muziganiza kaye musanayankhe. Baibulo limanena kuti: “Mtima wa wolungama uganizira za mayankhidwe.” (Miyambo 15:28) Munthu akakuputani, si bwino kungolankhula chilichonse chomwe chabwera m’mutu mwanu. Mwachitsanzo, tinene kuti mayi anu akukufunsani kuti: “N’chifukwa chiyani sunatsuke mbale? Iwetu nthawi zonse suchita zimene watumidwa.” Apa n’zotheka kuyankha mosaganiza bwino kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani mumangolimbana nane?” Koma ndi bwino kusonyeza luso la kulingalira. Muziyesetsa kufatsa kaye kuti mudziwe chifukwa chimene mayi anu anenera zimenezo. Nthawi zambiri, munthu akanena mawu akuti “nthawi zonse mumachita zakutizakuti,” kapena “nthawi zonse simuchita zakutizakuti,”satanthauza kuti mumachitadi zinthuzo nthawi zonse. Mawuwa amangosonyeza kuti munthuyo wakhumudwa. Kodi makolo anu angakhumudwe ndi chiyani?

Mwina makolo anuwo angakhumudwe chifukwa choona kuti mukuwasiyira ntchito. Mwinanso chingangokhala chifukwa chakuti akufuna kudziwa ngati muli ndi mtima wofuna kuwathandiza. N’kuthekanso kuti zingakhale zoonadi kuti mumakonda kuthawa ntchito.  Kaya akhumudwa ndi chiyani, kuwayankha kuti “N’chifukwa chiyani mumangolimbana nane?” sikungakuthandizeni, m’malomwake kungachititse kuti muzingokangana. Choncho, mungachite bwino kupewa kuwakhumudwitsa mayi anu. Mwachitsanzo, munganene kuti: “Pepani, ndikudziwa kuti ndakukhumudwitsani. Ndikupita kukatsuka mbalezo pompano.” Komabe muyenera kusamala: Si bwino kunena zimenezi mwamwano. Kuwayankha moleza mtima kungathandize kuti mupewe kuwakhumudwitsa kwambiri.

Lembani pansipa mawu amene bambo kapena mayi anu anganene, omwe akhoza kukukhumudwitsani.

․․․․․

Tsopano ganizirani mawu abwino amene munganene poyankha zimene makolo anu anena mopsa mtima.

․․․․․

◯ Muzilankhula mwaulemu. Michelle waphunzira mmene angamalankhulire ndi mayi ake kuchokera pa zimene wakhala akukumana nazo. Iye anati: “Kaya nkhani yake ndi yotani, nthawi zonse mayi anga amanena kuti sindinalankhule bwino.” Ngati zimenezi zimakuchitikirani inuyo, muziyesetsa kulankhula modekha komanso pang’onopang’ono ndipo muzipewa kuwaipitsira nkhope kapena kuchita zinthu zina zowasonyeza kuti mwakhumudwa. (Miyambo 30:17) Ngati mukuona kuti zimene makolo anu akunena zikuchititsani kuwayankha mwaukali, muzipemphera mwachidule chamumtima. (Nehemiya 2:4) Sikuti cholinga chanu popemphera kwa Mulungu n’chakuti makolo anu asiye kukuvutitsani, koma kuti inuyo muyesetse kuugwira mtima kuti zinthu zisafike poipa.—Yakobe 1:26.

Lembani m’munsimu zinthu zimene simuyenera kulankhula kapena kuchita.

Zomwe simuyenera kulankhula:

․․․․․

Zomwe simuyenera kuchita:

․․․․․

◯ Muzimvetsera. Baibulo limanena kuti: “Pochuluka mawu zolakwa sizisoweka.” (Miyambo 10:19) Choncho, ndi bwino kuti muzipatsa mayi kapena bambo anu mpata wolankhula, ndipo iwo akamalankhula muzimvetsera. Makolo anu akamalankhula muziwayang’ana ndipo musamamvere nyimbo, kuwerenga mabuku kapena magazini. Musamawadule mawu kapena kudziikira kumbuyo. Akamaliza kulankhula m’pamene mungakhale ndi mpata wowafunsa mafunso kapena kuwafotokozera maganizo anu. Koma ngati muwachitira makani kapena kuumirira maganizo anu, dziwani kuti zinthu zingangoipiraipira. Ngakhale mutakhala ndi zonena zambiri, imeneyi mwina ingakhale “mphindi yakutonthola.”—Mlaliki 3:7.

◯ Muzipepesa Nthawi zonse mukachita zinthu  zimene mwaona kuti zachititsa kuti mukangane ndi makolo anu, ndi bwino kupepesa. (Aroma 14:19) Ngakhale ngati inuyo si amene mwachititsa kuti mukangane, ndi bwino kupepesabe. Ngati kupepesa pamasom’pamaso kungakuvuteni, mungawalembere kalata. Chinanso chimene mungachite ndi kusiya kuchita zinthu zimene zinachititsa kuti mukangane. (Mateyo 5:41) Mwachitsanzo, ngati chinthu chomwe chinachititsa kuti mukangane ndi kukana ntchito yapakhomo, mungachite bwino kugwira ntchitoyo ndipo makolo anu angasangalale kwambiri. Ngakhale kuti mwina mukudana ndi zoti mugwire ntchitoyo, kuigwirabe kungakuthandizeni kwambiri kusiyana n’kuti makolo anu akukalipireni chifukwa choti simunaigwire.—Mateyo 21:28-31.

Mukamayesetsa kukambirana mwamtendere ndi makolo anu, zinthu zidzakuyenderani bwino. Ndipo Baibulo limanena kuti munthu “wachifundo achitira moyo wake zokoma.” (Miyambo 11:17) Kuyesetsa kuthetsa kusamvana pakati panu, kungakuthandizeni kwambiri.

Ngakhale mabanja amene akuyenda bwino amasemphananso maganizo. Koma zikatero, amakambirana mwamtendere. Yesetsani kutsatira malangizo amene takambirana m’nkhaniyi, ndipo muona n’zotheka kukambirana ndi makolo anu nkhani zikuluzikulu popanda kukangana.

Nkhani zina zakuti “Zimene Achinyamata Amafunsa,“ mungazipeze pa adiresi yathu ya pa Intaneti ya www.dan124.com.

ZOTI MUGANIZIRE

● N’chifukwa chiyani anzanu ambiri amaona kuti si vuto kukangana ndi makolo awo?

● N’chifukwa chiyani Yehova amaona kuti anthu omwe amakonda kukangana ndi zitsiru?—Miyambo 20:3.

[Bokosi/Zithunzi patsamba 27]

ZIMENE ACHINYAMATA ANZANU AMANENA

“Ngakhale kuti ndimagwira ntchito n’kumadzithandiza ndekha, ndinazindikira kuti ndimafunika kumamvera makolo anga chifukwa ndikukhalabe panyumba pawo. Iwo akhala akundisamalira kwa zaka zambiri, choncho ndimawamvetsa akamafuna kudziwa komwe ndili.”

“Ngati ndasemphana maganizo ndi makolo anga, timapemphera, kuwerenga mfundo zimene zingatithandize ndi kuzikambirana. Tikachita zimenezo, timafika pogwirizana. Kudalira Yehova kumathandiza kwambiri.”

[Zithunzi]

Daniel

Cameron

[Chithunzi patsamba 29]

MAYANKHO

1. Mawu amwano (“Iii, paja nanu”) anachititsa kuti mayi ake akwiye kwambiri.

2. Zimene Rachel anachita (kuipitsira nkhope mayi ake) zinangomuika m’mavuto.

3. Kuwayankha mwamwano (“Inunso simundipatsa ulemu”) sikunamuthandize.

[Bokosi patsamba 29]

MAWU KWA MAKOLO

Ganizirani zimene zinachitikira Rachel ndi mayi ake, zomwe tafotokoza kumayambiriro kwa nkhani ino. Kodi mungatchule zinthu zimene mayi a Rachel anachita zomwe zinachititsa kuti akangane naye. Kodi mungatani kuti muzipewa kukangana ndi mwana wanu? Mungachite bwino kukumbukira mfundo zotsatirazi.

Pewani kunena mawu okokomeza monga akuti “Nthawi zonse umachita zakuti” kapena akuti “Nthawi zonse suchita zakuti.” Mawu amenewa amachititsa kuti mwana wanu azikuyankhani modzitchinjiriza. Ndipo n’kutheka kuti si zoona kuti iye amachita zimenezo nthawi zonse. Mwanayo angadziwenso kuti mukunena mawu okokomeza osati chifukwa chakuti iyeyo walakwitsa ayi, koma chifukwa chakuti inuyo mwakwiya.

M’malo moloza chala mwanayo, fotokozani mmene zochita zake zakhukhudzirani. Mwachitsanzo, m’malo moyamba ndi mawu akuti, “Iwe umatere,” yesani kunena kuti, “Ukachita izi, ine ndimamva chonchi.” Muyenera kudziwa kuti mwana wanu amakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi mmene mukumvera mumtima mwanu. Choncho, ngati mutamufotokozera mwana wanu mmene mukumvera mumtima mwanu, angathe kuyamba kukumverani.

Ngakhale kuti n’zovuta, yesetsani kusamulankhula chilichonse mpaka mtima wanu utaphwa. (Miyambo 10:19) Ngati ntchito zapakhomo n’zimene zimachititsa kuti muzikangana, yesani kukambirana modekha ndi mwana wanuyo za nkhaniyo. Lembani zinthu zimene mwana wanuyo akufunikira kuchita ndipo ngati n’koyenera, muuzeni chilango chimene mungam’patse ngati sagwira ntchito zimene mwamupatsa. Muzimvetsera zimene mwana wanu akunena, ngakhale mukuona kuti maganizo akewo ndi olakwika. Ana ambiri amakonda makolo amene amamvetsera osati amene amangokhalira kuwalangiza.

Musafulumire kunena kuti mwana wanuyo watayika ndipo wayamba kukuukirani ngati mmene amachitira achinyamata ambiri m’dzikoli. Muzikumbukira kuti mwana wanu akuchita zonsezo chifukwa chakuti akukula. Iye angatsutsane nanu mfundo inayake n’cholinga chongofuna kukusonyezani kuti iye si mwananso panopa. Pewani kukangana naye. Ndipo musaiwale kuti iye amaphunzirapo kanthu akaona zimene mumachita iyeyo akalakwitsa. Choncho, khalani odekha ndiponso oleza mtima ndipo mudzaona kuti mwana wanu adzatengera chitsanzo chanu.—Agalatiya 5:22, 23.

[Chithunzi patsamba 28]

Kukangana ndi makolo anu kuli ngati kuthamanga malo amodzimodzi. Simungapite patali ndipo mungangowononga mphamvu zanu pachabe