NKHANI YA PACHIKUTO | KODI MUNGATANI MUNTHU YEMWE MUNKAMUKONDA AKAMWALIRA?
Kodi Kumva Chisoni N’kulakwa?
Kodi munayamba mwavutikapo ndi ululu waukulu mutadwala kwa nthawi yochepa? N’kutheka kuti munaiwala za ululuwo chifukwa choti munachira pasanapite nthawi. Koma zimenezi n’zosiyana kwambiri ndi chisoni. Munthu wina dzina lake Alan Wolfelt analemba m’buku lake kuti, “Si zoona kuti chisoni cha munthu yemwe m’bale wake wamwalira ‘chimatha mwamsanga.’” (Healing a Spouse’s Grieving Heart) Iye ananenanso kuti: “Chisoni chimachepa pakapita nthawi komanso anthu ena akamakuthandiza.”
Mwachitsanzo, taganizirani mmene Abulahamu anamvera mkazi wake atamwalira. Baibulo limanena kuti, “Abulahamu anayamba kumulira Sara.” (Genesis 23:2, Baibulo la Dziko Latsopano, lokonzedwanso la Chingelezi) Mawu akuti “anayamba,” akusonyeza kuti Abulahamu anakhalabe ndi chisoni kwa nthawi yaitali. * Chitsanzo china ndi cha Yakobo yemwe anapusitsidwa ndi ana ake kuti Yosefe wadyedwa ndi chilombo. Yakobo anamulira mwana wake kwa “masiku ambiri” ndipo ana ake onse anakanika kumutonthoza. Patapita zaka zambiri Yakobo ankavutikabe ndi chisoni chifukwa cha imfa ya mwana wakeyu.—Genesis 37:34, 35; 42:36; 45:28.
Masiku anonso anthu ambiri amavutika ndi chisoni kwa nthawi yaitali munthu amene ankamukonda akamwalira. Tiyeni tione zitsanzo za anthu angapo.
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Mayi wina dzina lake Gail, yemwe panopa ali ndi zaka 60, anati: “Mwamuna wanga Robert, anamwalira pa 9 July, mu 2008, atachita ngozi. Patsikuli zinthu zinali bwinobwino ngati mmene zinkakhalira masiku onse. Titamaliza kudya chakudya cham’mawa tinatsanzikana ndipo ananyamuka n’kumapita kuntchito. Panopa padutsa zaka 6 chimwalilireni mwamuna wangayo, koma ndimaona kuti sindidzaiwala imfa yake.”
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Bambo wina wazaka 84 dzina lake Etienne, anati: “Ngakhale kuti panopa padutsa zaka 18 chimwalilireni mkazi wanga, ndidakali ndi chisoni chachikulu chifukwa cha imfa yake. Ndikaona chinachake chosangalatsa m’chilengedwe, ndimayamba kumukumbukira ndipo ndimaganizira mmene akanasangalalira kuona zinthu ngati zimenezi.”
Choncho, sikulakwa kumva chisoni kwa nthawi yaitali chifukwa cha imfa ya munthu amene tinkamukonda. Ndipo n’zimene zimachitikira anthu ambiri. Tisaiwalenso kuti anthu amasonyeza chisoni mosiyanasiyana, ndiye kungakhale kulakwa kudzudzula munthu chifukwa cha mmene akusonyezera chisoni. Komanso tisamadziimbe mlandu poganiza kuti tili ndi chisoni chopitirira malire. Komano n’chiyani chomwe chingatithandize pa nthawi yomwe tili ndi chisoni?
^ ndime 4 Isaki, yemwe anali mwana wa Abulahamu anavutikanso ndi chisoni kwa nthawi yaitali mayi ake atamwalira. Monga tafotokozera m’nkhani yakuti, “Tsanzirani Chikhulupiriro Chawo” yomwe ili m’magaziniyi, iye ankamvabe chisoni ngakhale kuti panali patatha zaka zitatu.—Genesis 24:67.