Sonyezani Chikondi M’banja

“WOTCHA! Chiwotche!” Tohru anauza motero mkazi wake Yoko. * “Ee, ndiwotcha,” anatero Yoko modzazira ndipo anayatsa machesi n’kuwotcha chithunzi chimene anajambulitsa ali aŵiri. Ndiyeno ananenanso mopsetsa mtima kuti, “Ndiwotchanso nyumba!” Atatero, Tohru anam’menya mkazi wakeyo, n’kuthetsa mkanganowo ndi chiwawa.

Zaka zitatu m’mbuyomo, Tohru ndi Yoko anayamba kukhalira limodzi monga banja losangalala. Nangano n’chiyani chinavuta? Ngakhale kuti Tohru ankaoneka kuti anali mwamuna wosangalatsa, mkazi wake amaona kuti sanali kumusonyeza chikondi ndipo sanali kusamala malingaliro a mkazi wakeyo. Ankaoneka kuti sanali kubwezera chikondi chimene mkaziyo anali kusonyeza. Atalephera kupirira, Yoko anayamba kukhala ndi mkwiyo ndipo unali kukulirakulira. Anayambanso kukhala ndi mavuto monga kusoŵa tulo, nkhaŵa, kusafuna chakudya, kukwiyakwiya, ndi kuvutika maganizo. Anafikanso ngakhale pomangoopa zilizonse. Koma Tohru ankaoneka kuti analibe nazo ntchito zoti m’banja mwake munali kusoŵa mtendere. Iye ankangoona ngati ndi mmene zinthu zimakhalira.

“Nthaŵi Zoŵaŵitsa”

Mavuto ameneŵa ndi ofala masiku ano. Mtumwi Paulo analosera kuti m’nthaŵi yathu ino anthu adzakhala ‘opanda chikondi chachibadwidwe.’ (2 Timoteo 3:1-5) Liwu loyambirira la Chigiriki limene analimasulira pano kuti “opanda chikondi chachibadwidwe” likugwirizana kwambiri ndi liwu losonyeza chikondi chachibadwa chimene chimapezeka m’banja. M’nthaŵi imene tikukhala ino, chikondi chimenecho chikusoŵadi. Komanso ngakhale chikondicho chitakhalapo, nthaŵi zambiri anthu a m’banja sachisonyeza kwa wina ndi mnzake.

Makolo ambiri masiku ano sadziŵa mmene angasonyezere chikondi kwa ana awo. Anthu ena akulira m’mabanja osoŵa chikondi ndipo sangazindikire kuti moyo ungakhale wosangalatsa ndiponso wokoma kwambiri ngati munthu atakhala ndi chikondi ndi kuchisonyeza. Zikuoneka kuti ndi mmene zinalili kwa Tohru. Iye ali mwana, bambo ake ankakhala otanganidwa kuntchito nthaŵi zonse ndipo ankafika kunyumba usiku kwambiri. Ndi nthaŵi zochepa chabe zimene ankalankhula ndi Tohru ndipo amati akafuna kulankhula naye, kunali kukalipa kokhakokha. Mayi a Tohru ankagwiranso ntchito ndipo sanali kukhala naye nthaŵi zambiri. Wailesi ya kanema ndi imene inali ngati mlezi wake. M’banjamo munalibe kuyamikirana kapena kulankhulana.

Chikhalidwe chingachititsenso zimenezi. M’madera ena a ku Latin America, kuti mwamuna asonyeze chikondi kwa mkazi wake ndiye kuti afunika kusatsatira chikhalidwe chawo. M’mayiko ambiri a ku Asia ndi ku  Africa, n’zotsutsana ndi mwambo kuti munthu asonyeze chikondi mwa kunena kuti amam’konda mnzake kapena mwa kuchita zinthu zosonyeza chikondi. Amuna zingawavute kuuza akazi kapena ana awo kuti “Ndimakukondani.” Komabe tingaphunzire kanthu pa ubwenzi wapamwamba wa m’banja, umene wakhalapo kwa nthaŵi yaitali.

Ubwenzi wa M’banja Umene Tingatengerepo Chitsanzo

Chitsanzo chabwino kwambiri cha banja ndicho ubwenzi wapamtima wa Yehova Mulungu ndi Mwana wake wobadwa yekha. Amasonyezana chikondi mwapadera chifukwa chikondi chawo n’changwiro. Kwa zaka zosaŵerengeka, cholengedwa chauzimu chimene chinadzakhala Yesu Kristu chinali paubwenzi wosangalatsa ndi Atate wake. Yesu anafotokoza mgwirizano wawo motere: “Ndinali pambali pake ngati mmisiri; ndinamsekeretsa tsiku ndi tsiku, ndi kukondwera pamaso pake nthaŵi zonse.” (Miyambo 8:30) Mwanayo sanakayikire m’pang’ono pomwe kuti Atate wake anali kumukonda moti anauza ena kuti Yehova anasekerera naye tsiku ndi tsiku. Anali wokondwera pamaso pa Atate wake nthaŵi zonse.

Ngakhale pamene anali padziko lapansi, Yesu, Mwana wa Mulungu anam’tsimikizira kuti Atate wake anali kum’konda kwambiri. Yesu atabatizidwa, anamva mawu a Atate wake akuti: “Uyu ndiye Mwana wanga wokondedwa, mwa iyeyu ndikondwera.” (Mateyu 3:17) Anali mawu achikondi olimbikitsatu amenewo kuchiyambi kwa ntchito ya Yesu padziko lapansi! Ziyenera kuti zinam’khudza kwambiri mtima kumva Atate wake akumuvomereza pamene anali kukumbukira mmene moyo wake unalili ali kumwamba.

Motero, Yehova amapereka chitsanzo chabwino kwambiri posonyeza kukonda banja lake la chilengedwe chonse mopanda malire. Ngati tikhulupirira Yesu Kristu, ifenso Yehova angatikonde. (Yohane 16:27) Ngakhale kuti sitidzamva mawu ochokera kumwamba, tidzaona chikondi cha Yehova chimene wasonyeza m’chilengedwe, popereka nsembe ya dipo ya Yesu, ndiponso m’njira zina. (1 Yohane 4:9, 10) Yehova amamvanso mapemphero athu ndipo amawayankha m’njira imene tingapindule nayo. (Salmo 145:18; Yesaya 48:17) Pamene tikhala pa ubwenzi wapamtima ndi Yehova, timakulitsa kuyamikira kutisamala kwake kumene amachita chifukwa cha chikondi.

Yesu anaphunzira kwa Atate wake mmene angasonyezere chisoni, kuganizira ena, chifundo, ndi kudera nkhaŵa kwambiri ena. Iye anafotokoza kuti: “Zimene [Atate] azichita, zomwezo Mwananso azichita momwemo. Pakuti Atate akonda Mwana, namuonetsa zonse azichita yekha.” (Yohane 5:19, 20) Ndiyeno, tingaphunzire mmene tingasonyezere chikondi mwa kuphunzira chitsanzo cha Yesu ali padziko lapansi.​—Afilipi 1:8.

Kodi Tingakondane Bwanji M’banja?

Popeza “Mulungu ndiye chikondi” ndipo anatilenga “m’chifanizo chake,” tingathe kukhala ndi mtima wachikondi ndi kuchita zinthu zosonyeza chikondicho. (1 Yohane 4:8; Genesis 1:26, 27) Komabe, ngakhale kuti tingathe kuchita zimenezi, izo sizimangochitika zokha. Kuti tisonyeze chikondi, tiyenera choyamba kumva kuti timamukonda mwamuna kapena mkazi wathu ndiponso ana athu. Khalani tcheru ndi kuona makhalidwe awo osangalatsa, ngakhale poyamba ataoneka ngati ochepa, ndipo sinkhasinkhani zimenezo. Mwina munganene kuti: ‘Sindikuona chinthu chosangalatsa mwa mwamuna [mkazi kapena ana] anga.’ Amene ali m’mabanja oti makolo anachita kuwasankhira kuti akwatira kapena akwatiwa ndi wakutiwakuti angakhale kuti sakum’konda kwenikweni mkazi kapena mwamuna wawoyo. Ena angakhale kuti  sankafuna ana. Komabe, taganizani mmene Yehova anaonera mkazi wake wophiphiritsa, mtundu wa Israyeli, m’zaka za m’ma 900 B.C.E. Ngakhale kuti mneneri wake Eliya ananena kuti panalibe olambira Yehova ena mu mtundu wa Israyeli wa mafuko khumi, Yehova anafufuza mosamala ndipo anapeza anthu ambiri ndithu, okwana 7,000, amene anawaona kuti anali ndi makhalidwe osangalatsa. Kodi simungatsanzire Yehova mwa kuona mbali zabwino za anthu a m’banja lanu?​—1 Mafumu 19:14-18.

Komabe, kuti anthu a m’banja lanu aone kuti mumawakonda, muyenera kuyesetsa kusonyeza chikondicho. Akachita chinachake choyamikirika, sonyezani kuyamikira kwanu mwa kuwauza zimenezo. Pofotokoza za mkazi wangwiro, Mawu a Mulungu anatchula zinthu zosangalatsa zimene a m’banja lake anachita. Limati: “Anake adzanyamuka, nadzamutcha wodala; mwamuna wake namtama.” (Miyambo 31:28) Onani mmene anthu a m’banjali anali kuyamikirana momasuka. Mwa kuyamikira mkazi wake ndi mawu, bambo angapereke chitsanzo chabwino kwa mwana wake, kumulimbikitsa kuti azidzayamikira kwambiri mkazi wake akadzakwatira.

Ndiponso, makolo ayenera kuyamikira ana awo. Zimenezi zidzathandiza kuti anawo azidziŵerengera. Kunena zoona, kodi munthu ‘angakonde bwanji mnzake monga adzikondera iye mwini’ ngati iye sadziŵerengera? (Mateyu 22:39) Koma ngati makolo amangokalipira ana awo nthaŵi zonse, osawayamikira m’pang’ono pomwe, n’zosavuta kuti anawo asiye kudziŵerengera ndipo zingawavute kuti asonyeze chikondi kwa ena.​—Aefeso 4:31, 32.

Thandizo Lilipo

Bwanji ngati simunaleredwe m’banja lokondana? Mungaphunzirebe kusonyeza chikondi. Njira yoyamba ndiyo kuzindikira vutolo ndi kuona kuti m’pofunika kuwongolera. Mawu a Mulungu, Baibulo, angathandize kwambiri pa nkhani imeneyi. Baibulo tingaliyerekezere ndi kalilore. Tikadziyang’anira pa ziphunzitso za m’Baibulo zonga kalilore, timaona maganizo athu olakwika. (Yakobo 1:23) Mogwirizana ndi zimene Baibulo limaphunzitsa, tingasinthe makhalidwe athu alionse olakwikawo. (Aefeso 4:20-24; Afilipi 4:8, 9) Tifunika kuchita zimenezo nthaŵi zonse, ‘osalema pakuchita zabwino.’​—Agalatiya 6:9.

Ena angavutike kusonyeza chikondi chifukwa cha mmene anawalerera kapena chifukwa cha chikhalidwe chawo. Komabe, kufufuza kumene anachita posachedwapa kwasonyeza kuti zopinga zimenezo zingagonjetsedwe. Katswiri wina wa matenda a maganizo, Dr. Daniel Goleman, anafotokoza kuti ‘ngakhale zizolowezi zimene zinakhazikika kwambiri mumtima mwathu zimene tinaziphunzira tili ana, tingazisinthe.’ Zaka zoposa 1900 zapitazo, Baibulo linasonyeza kuti mothandizidwa ndi mzimu wa Mulungu, tingathe kusintha ngakhale makhalidwe ovuta kusintha amene anakhazikika mumtima mwathu. Limatilangiza kuti: ‘Muvule umunthu wakale pamodzi ndi ntchito zake, ndipo muvale watsopano.’​—Akolose 3:9, 10.

Vutolo likadziŵika, banja lingaphunzire Baibulo likuganizira zosoŵa zawo. Mwachitsanzo, bwanji osafufuza n’kuona zimene Baibulo limanena pa nkhani ya “chikondi”? Mungapeze lemba monga ili: “Mudamva za chipiriro cha Yobu, ndipo mwaona chitsiriziro cha Ambuye, kuti Ambuye ali wodzala chikondi, ndi wachifundo.” (Yakobo 5:11) Ndiyeno pendani nkhani ya m’Baibulo ya Yobu, kuika maganizo pa mmene Yehova anamukondera ndi kum’chitira chifundo Yobu. Mosakayika, mudzafuna kutsanzira Yehova posonyeza chikondi ndi kuchitira chifundo kwambiri anthu a m’banja lanu.

 Komabe, popeza ndife opanda ungwiro, “timakhumudwa tonse pa zinthu zambiri” pogwiritsa ntchito lilime. (Yakobo 3:2) M’banja, tingalephere kugwiritsa ntchito lilime molimbikitsa. Apa m’pamene pemphero ndi kudalira Yehova zimafunika. Musataye mtima. “Pempherani kosaleka.” (1 Atesalonika 5:17) Yehova adzathandiza anthu amene akufuna kukondedwa m’banja ndiponso amene akufuna kuchisonyeza chikondi koma akulephera kutero.

Ndiponso, Yehova mwachifundo wapereka thandizo mumpingo wachikristu. Yakobo analemba kuti: “Pali wina kodi adwala [mwauzimu] mwa inu? Adziitanire akulu a Mpingo, ndipo apemphere pa iye, atam’dzoza ndi mafuta m’dzina la Ambuye.” (Yakobo 5:14) Inde, akulu mumpingo wa Mboni za Yehova angathandize kwambiri mabanja amene anthu a m’banjalo zikuwavuta kusonyezana chikondi. Ngakhale kuti akulu si akatswiri a matenda a maganizo, iwo angathandize moleza mtima okhulupirira anzawo, osati kuwauza kuti achite zakutizakuti, koma kuwakumbutsa mmene Yehova amaonera nkhaniyo ndi kupemphera nawo limodzi komanso kuwapempherera.​—Salmo 119:105; Agalatiya 6:1.

Pa nkhani ya Tohru ndi Yoko, akulu achikristu nthaŵi zonse anali kuwamvetsera akamafotokoza mavuto awo ndipo anali kuwalimbikitsa. (1 Petro 5:2, 3) Nthaŵi zina, mkulu ndi mkazi wake ankawachezera kuti Yoko apindule pocheza ndi mkazi wachikristu waluso amene akanam’langiza kuti ‘akonde mwamuna wake.’ (Tito 2:3, 4) Mwa kusonyeza kuti akumvetsa ndiponso kumvera chisoni kuvutika kwa Akristu anzawo, akulu amakhala “pobisalira mphepo, ndi pousira chimphepo.”​—Yesaya 32:1, 2.

Akulu achifundo atathandiza, Tohru anazindikira kuti anali ndi vuto lolephera kusonyeza chikondi chake ndiponso kuti ‘m’masiku otsiriza,’ Satana akuukira mabanja. (2 Timoteo 3:1) Tohru anaganiza zothana nalo vuto lakelo. Anayamba kuzindikira kuti ankalephera kusonyeza chikondi chifukwa chakuti iye sanasonyezedwepo chikondi pamene anali kukula. Tohru anaphunzira kwambiri Baibulo ndiponso kupemphera kwambiri, ndipo pang’onopang’ono anayamba kusonyeza chikondi kwa Yoko.

Nayenso Yoko, ngakhale kuti poyamba ankaipidwa ndi Tohru, atazindikira mmene mwamuna wakeyo analeredwera, komanso naye kuona zolakwa zake, anayesetsa kuona zabwino mwa mwamuna wakeyo. (Mateyu 7:1-3; Aroma 5:12; Akolose 3:12-14) Iye anapempha Yehova ndi mtima wonse kuti ampatse mphamvu zoti apitirizebe kukonda mwamuna wake. (Afilipi 4:6, 7) Kenako, Tohru anayamba kusonyeza chikondi chake, ndipo mkazi wakeyo anasangalala kwambiri.

Inde, ngakhale ngati zimakuvutani kukonda ndi kusonyeza chikondicho kwa anthu a m’banja lanu, mungathedi kuthetsa vuto limenelo. Mawu a Mulungu amatipatsa malangizo abwino kwambiri. (Salmo 19:7) Mungathe kugonjetsa vuto limene lingaoneke ngati khoma lalikulu pakati pa inu ndi a m’banja lanu. Mungatero mwa kuzindikira kuti ndi nkhani yaikulu, kuyesetsa kuona zabwino mwa anthu a m’banja lanu, kuphunzira ndi kugwiritsa ntchito Mawu a Mulungu, kudalira Yehova kudzera m’pemphero lochokera pansi pa mtima, ndiponso kupempha thandizo kwa akulu achikristu okhwima mwauzimu. (1 Petro 5:7) Inunso mungasangalale monga mmene anachitira mwamuna wina wa ku United States. Iye analimbikitsidwa kusonyeza chikondi kwa mkazi wake. Pamapeto pake, atalimba mtima n’kunena kuti “Ndimakukondani,” anadabwa ndi mmene mkaziyo anachitira. Anagwetsa misozi yachimwemwe, ndipo anati: “Inenso ndimakukondani, koma aka n’koyamba kundiuza zimenezi patapita zaka 25.” Musadikire kwa nthaŵi yaitali choncho kuti musonyeze chikondi kwa mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu ndiponso kwa ana anu!

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 28]

Yehova amapereka thandizo m’Mawu ake, Baibulo