Si Zimene Munali Kuyembekezera

ANTHU amene akuoneka ngati oyenerana bwino pachibwenzi amatha kunong’oneza bondo akalowa m’banja. Koma kodi zingatheke bwanji kuti anthu ooneka kuti ankagwirizana kwambiri asanakwatirane akhale osiyana maganizo kwambiri pambuyo pokwatirana?

Baibulo limati anthu amene amalowa m’banja amakhala ndi “zovuta zambiri.” (1 Akorinto 7:28, Chipangano Chatsopano Mu Chichewa Cha Lero) Nthawi zambiri mavuto oterewa amayamba chifukwa cha kupanda ungwiro. (Aroma 3:23) Komanso, n’kutheka kuti mwamuna kapena mkaziyo kapenanso onse, sakutsatira mfundo za m’Baibulo. (Yesaya 48:17, 18) Komano, nthawi zina mwamuna kapena mkazi amalowa m’banja akuyembekezera zinthu zoti sizingatheke. Zikatere kusamvana kwawo kungabweretse mavuto adzaoneni.

Kuyembekezera Zosatheka

Monga amachitira anthu ambiri, n’kutheka kuti inunso munalowa m’banja mukuyembekezera zinthu zosiyanasiyana. Taganizirani zimene munkayembekezerazo. Kodi zikukwaniritsidwa m’banja mwanu? Ngati sizikukwaniritsidwa, musafulumire kutaya mtima. Kutsatira mfundo za m’Baibulo kungakuthandizeni kuwongola zinthuzo. * (2 Timoteyo 3:16) Ndi bwino kuti muonenso mosamala zina mwa zinthu zimene munkayembekezera musanalowe m’banja.

Mwachitsanzo, ena ankaganiza kuti akadzalowa m’banja azidzangokhalira chikondi chokhachokha, monga mmene mabuku achikondi amasimbira. Mwina munkaganiza kuti nthawi zonse simuzidzasiyana kulikonse kapena munkaganiza kuti muzidzathetsa kusemphana maganizo kulikonse mwamtendere ndiponso monga anthu okhwima maganizo. Anthu ambiri akhala akuganiza kuti akangolowa m’banja ndiye kuti kudziletsa pankhani ya kugonana athana nako. Chifukwa choti zinthu zonsezi n’zosatheka nthawi zambiri, ena amadzanong’oneza bondo.​—Genesis 3:16.

Enanso amayembekezera kuti kulowa m’banjako pakokha kudzawapangitsa kukhala munthu wosangalala. N’zoona kuti kukhala ndi mnzako wa moyo wako wonse kungakhale kosangalatsa kwambiri. (Miyambo 18:22; 31:10; Mlaliki 4:9) Koma kodi kulowa m’banja kungathetseretu kusamvana maganizo kulikonse? Nthawi zambiri anthu amene amaganiza choncho amadzagwira fuwa lamoto.

Vuto Losanena Zimene Mukuyembekezera

Sikuti zonse zimene anthu amayembekezera m’banja n’zosamveka. Zina zimakhala zomveka ndithu. Komabe pamabwera mavuto chifukwa choyembekezera zinthu zinazake zoti sizingatheke. Mlangizi wina wa zam’banja anati: “Ndaonapo anthu ena okwatirana akuyambana chifukwa choti mwamuna kapena mkazi akuyembekezera mnzake kuchita zinazake zimene  mnzakeyo sanaziganizirepo n’komwe.” Kuti timvetse mmene zimenezi zingachitikire taganizirani chitsanzo ichi.

Mariya anakwatiwa ndi mwamuna wina wakutali kwambiri ndi kwawo, dzina lake Davide. Iye ankadziwa kuti akadzakwatiwa adzavutika kuti azolowere kukhala m’dera latsopano, makamaka chifukwa choti n’ngwamanyazi. Komabe ankalimba mtima podziwa kuti mwamuna wakeyo akamuthandiza. Mwachitsanzo, iye ankayembekezera kuti Davideyo azikakhala naye pafupi ndi kumuthandiza kuti adziwane bwino ndi anzake. Koma zimenezi sizikuchitika. Davide akungokhalira kucheza ndi anzake ambirimbiri, n’kumusiya Mariya akungosungulumwa. Mariya akuona kuti Davide akumunyalanyaza, ndiponso kuti sakum’ganizira n’komwe. Iye akudzifunsa kuti, ‘Koma n’zoona Davide angachite zimenezi?’

Kodi Mariya akuyembekezera zinthu zosatheka? Ayi ndithu. Iyeyutu akungofuna kuti mwamuna wake amuthandize kuzolowera dera lachilendoli. Chifukwa choti n’ngwamanyazi amachita mantha kwambiri kucheza ndi anthu ambiri osawadziwa. Koma pagona vuto m’pakuti Mariya sanamuuze Davide za vuto lakeli. Motero Davide sakudziwa n’komwe za vuto la mkazi wakeyu. Kodi zimenezi zikapitirira chichitike n’chiyani? Zimenezi zizingomupweteka Mariya mumtima, ndipo patsogolo pake adzafika poona kuti mwamuna wake ndi munthu wouma mtima zedi.

N’kutheka kuti nanunso munakhumudwapo chifukwa choti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu amaoneka kuti sakukuganizirani. Kodi pamenepa mungatani?

Nenani Zakukhosi Kwanu

N’zokhumudwitsa kwambiri ngati zimene munali kuyembekezera sizikuchitika. (Miyambo 13:12) Komabe mungathe kuchitapo kanthu kuti zinthu zisinthe. Mwambi wina wa  m’Baibulo umati: “Mukakhala anzeru ndiponso mukamalankhula mogwira mtima anthu angathe kukumverani.” (Miyambo 16:23, Baibulo la Contemporary English Version) Choncho, ngati mukuona kuti zimene mukuyembekezera n’zomveka koma sizikuchitika, kambiranani nkhaniyi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanuyo.

Pokambirana nkhaniyi, yesetsani kusankha nthawi yabwino, malo abwino, ndiponso mawu oyenera. (Miyambo 25:11) Nenani zakukhosi kwanu modekha ndi mwaulemu. Kumbukirani kuti cholinga chanu si choti mumusonyeze mnzanuyo kuti n’ngwolakwa, koma n’choti mum’dziwitse mmene mukumvera ndiponso zimene mukuyembekezera.​—Miyambo 15:1.

N’chifukwa chiyani muyenera kufika pochita zimenezi? Kodi mnzanuyo atakhala wokuganizirani sangadziwe yekha zimene mukufunazo? Mwina angadziwe, komano n’kutheka kuti iyeyo akuona zinthu mosiyanako pang’ono ndi inuyo, koma angathe kukumvetsani mutamufotokozera maganizo anu. Sikuti mukamachita kumuuza mnzanuyo zimene mukufuna ndiye kuti banja lanu silikuyenda bwino. Ndipo zimenezi sizisonyeza kuti mnzanuyo sakuganizirani.

Choncho musamaume pakamwa kukambirana ndi mnzanuyo. Mu chitsanzo tatchula chija, Mariya akanatha kumuuza Davide kuti: “Ineyo ndili ndi vuto lakuti sindikhala womasuka kucheza ndi anthu ambiri osawadziwa. Ndiye ndimati ndikupempheni kuti ngati n’kotheka mundithandize kuti ndifike pomatha kucheza bwinobwino ndi anzanu onsewa.”

 “Wofulumira Kumva”

Tsopano ganizirani mbali ina ya nkhaniyi. Taganizirani kuti mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu akukuuzani kuti sakusangalala chifukwa choti inuyo simukumuchitira zinazake zimene iyeyo wakhala akuyembekezera. Zikatere, mumvereni! Musayese kudziikira kumbuyo. M’malomwake, khalani “wofulumira kumva, wodekha polankhula, wosafulumira kukwiya.” (Yakobe 1:19; Miyambo 18:13) Mtumwi Paulo analimbikitsa Akhristu kuti: “Aliyense asamangodzifunira zopindulitsa iye yekha basi, komanso zopindulitsa wina.”​—1 Akorinto 10:24.

Mungatero poganizira zimene mukanachita mukanakhala mnzanuyo. Baibulo limati: “Amuna, pitirizani kukhala nawo mowadziwa bwino [akazi anu],” kapena monga mmene Baibulo la J. B. Phillips limanenera, “amunanu muziyesetsa kumvetsa akazi anu.” (1 Petulo 3:7) N’zoona kuti akazi ayeneranso kuyesetsa kuchita chimodzimodzi.

Musaiwale kuti ngakhale mutakhala oyenerana motani, inuyo ndi mnzanuyo simuona zinthu m’njira yofanana ndendende. (Onani bokosi lakuti, “Malo Amodzi Koma Akuwaona Mosiyanasiyana.”) Ilitu ndi dalitso, chifukwa ndi bwino kuona zinthu monga mmene wina akuzionera. Inuyo ndi mnzanuyo munalowa m’banjamo mukuyembekezera zinthu zosiyana malingana ndi banja limene munabadwira ndiponso chikhalidwe chanu. Motero mungathe kumakondana kwambiri koma n’kumayembekezera zinthu zosiyana kwambiri.

Mwachitsanzo, anthu okwatirana amene ali Akhristu amadziwa bwinobwino za mfundo ya m’Baibulo ya umutu. (Aefeso 5:22, 23) Koma kodi mwamuna angasonyeze bwanji umutu m’banja lake ndipo mkazi angasonyeze bwanji kuti akugonjera? Kodi nonse awiri mumayendera mfundo imeneyi ya m’Baibulo, ndipo kodi mumayesetsadi kuitsatira?

N’kuthekanso kuti zochitika zina za tsiku ndi tsiku mumaziona mosiyana. Kodi ndani yemwe azigwira ntchito zinazake zapakhomo? Kodi ndi nthawi iti imene muzicheza ndi achibale anu ndipo izikhala yotalika motani? Kodi Akhristu okwatirana angasonyeze bwanji kuti akuika zinthu za Ufumu patsogolo? (Mateyo 6:33) Pankhani ya zachuma, dziwani kuti m’posavuta kulowa m’ngongole, motero ndi bwino kukhala osamala ndi ndalama. Komano kodi kukhala osamala ndi ndalama kumatanthauza chiyani kwenikweni? Mukamakambirana nkhani ngati zimenezi momasuka ndiponso mwaulemu, zinthu zimayenda bwino kwambiri.

Pochita zimenezi m’banja mwanu mungathe kukhala mtendere, ngakhale kuti zinazake zimene munali kuyembekezera sizinakwaniritsidwebe. Pamenepa sizivuta kutsatira mawu a mtumwi Paulo akuti: “Pitirizani kulolerana ndi kukhululukirana wina ndi mnzake ndi mtima wonse, ngati wina ali ndi chifukwa chodandaula za mnzake.”​—Akolose 3:13.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Bokosi/​Chithunzi patsamba 10]

MALO AMODZI KOMA AKUWAONA MOSIYANASIYANA

“Tayerekezerani khamu la alendo oona malo osangalatsa a dzikolo. Ngakhale kuti gulu lonselo likuona malo amodzimodziwo, munthu aliyense akuona mosiyana. Chifukwa ninji? Chifukwa aliyense waima pamalo osiyana oonera. Palibe anthu awiri amene aima ndendende pamalo ofanana. Ndiponso, si aliyense amene akuyang’ana mbali imodzimodziyo ya malowo. Munthu aliyense wapeza mbali yosiyana imene ili yokondweretsa mwapadera. Zimenezi n’zofanananso muukwati. Ngakhale pamene ali oyenerana kwambiri, palibe okwatirana awiri amene amaona zinthu mofanana kwambiri. . . . Kulankhulana kumaphatikizapo kuyesetsa kugwirizanitsa anthu osiyana amenewa kuti akhale thupi limodzi. Zimenezi zimafunikira kukhala ndi nthawi ya kukambitsirana.”​—Zachokera mu Nsanja ya Olonda, ya August 1, 1993, tsamba 4.

[Bokosi patsamba 11]

ZIMENE MUNGACHITE PANOPO

• Onaninso bwinobwino zimene munali kuyembekezera. Kodi n’zothekadi? Kodi mukuyembekezera kuti mnzanuyo azichita zinthu zimene iyeyo sangakwanitse?​—Afilipi 2:4; 4:5.

• Yesetsani kusintha maganizo pa zinthu zosatheka zimene munali kuyembekezera. Mwachitsanzo, m’malo moganiza kuti, “Ifeyo sitidzasemphanapo maganizo,” khalani ndi cholinga choyesetsa kuthetsa mwamtendere nkhani iliyonse imene mwasemphanapo maganizo.​—Aefeso 4:32.

• Kambiranani zomwe mukuyembekezera. Kukambirana n’kofunika kwambiri kuti muphunzire kusonyezana chikondi ndiponso kupatsana ulemu.​—Aefeso 5:33.

[Chithunzi patsamba 9]

Khalani “wofulumira kumva” maganizo a mnzanuyo