KODI pamene mwana wanu anali wamng’ono munkaonetsetsa kuti pakhomo panu pasakhale zinthu zimene zingamuvulaze? Mwina munkaonetsetsa kuti zinthu monga mawaya amagetsi, moto komanso mipeni ndi malezala sizili pafupi ndi pamene mwana wanu akusewera. Ndipo munkachita zonsezi pofuna kuteteza mwanayo.

Koma mosiyana ndi zimenezi, kuteteza mwana wanu wachinyamata ndi kovuta. Panopa mungakhale ndi nkhawa ndipo mungamadzifunse kuti: ‘Kodi n’kutheka kuti mwana wanga amaonera zolaula?’ ‘Kodi mwina mwana wanga akumatumizira anthu ena zithunzi pa foni yake zosonyeza iye ali maliseche?’ Mwinanso nkhawa yaikulu kwambiri ingakhale yakuti, ‘Kodi mwana wanga wachinyamatayu amagonana ndi munthu wina?’

Makolo ena amalondalonda ana awo nthawi zonse ndipo amaonetsetsa kuti adziwe chilichonse chimene mwana wawo akuchita. Koma makolo oterewa amadzazindikira kuti zimenezi zimangochititsa kuti anawo ayambe kuchita mobisa komanso mochenjera kwambiri makhalidwe amene makolowo akuyesetsa kuteteza kuti anawo asamachite.

Ndiyetu apa n’zoonekeratu kuti kulondalonda ana sikuthandiza. Yehova Mulungu satilondalonda pofuna kuti tizimumvera, ndipo inunso makolo simuyenera kuchita zimenezi kwa ana anu. (Deuteronomo 30:19) Ndiyeno kodi mungatani kuti muthandize mwana wanu wachinyamata kuchita zinthu mwanzeru ndiponso kuti akhale ndi makhalidwe abwino?​—Miyambo 27:11.

Chinthu choyambirira chimene mungachite ndicho kumakambirana ndi ana anu nthawi zonse. Ndipo muyenera kuyamba kuchita zimenezi adakali aang’ono. * (Miyambo 22:6) Ndiyeno, pamene anawo akukula musasiye kulankhula nawo. Inuyo monga kholo ndi amene muyenera kukhala munthu wodalirika amene mungauze mwana wanu zoona. Mtsikana wina wa ku Britain, dzina lake Alicia, ananena kuti: “Anthu ambiri amaganiza kuti achinyamata akafuna kukambirana nkhani zokhudza kugonana ndi bwino kuti azikambirana ndi achinyamata anzawo. Koma zimenezi sizabwino. Timafuna kuti  makolo athu azitiuza ndi iwowo nkhani zimenezi chifukwa timakhulupirira kuti zimene amatiuza ndi zoona.”

Pamene ana akukula, amafunikira kulangizidwa pa nkhani zokhudza kugonana. Si kuti amangofunikira kudziwa kuti chimachitika n’chiyani kuti munthu akhale ndi mwana, koma amafunikiranso malangizo owathandiza kukhala ndi makhalidwe abwino. Ana anu afunika kukhala ndi ‘mphamvu za kuzindikira’ ndipo ayenera ‘kuphunzitsa mphamvuzo kusiyanitsa choyenera ndi chosayenera.’ (Aheberi 5:14) Mwachidule tinganene kuti ana afunika kuphunzitsidwa kuti adziwe zoyenera ndi zosayenera pa nkhani za kugonana ndipo ayenera kuphunzitsidwanso khalidwe labwino pa nkhani zimenezi. Kodi mungatani kuti muphunzitse mwana wanu wachinyamata mfundo zamakhalidwe abwino?

Choyamba ganizirani kaye mfundo zimene inuyo mumatsatira. Mwachitsanzo, mwina mumakhulupirira ndi mtima wonse kuti n’kulakwa kuti anthu osakwatirana azigonana. (1 Atesalonika 4:3) N’kutheka kuti ana anu amadziwa zimene mumakhulupirirazo ndipo mwina amadziwanso mavesi a m’Baibulo ogwirizana ndi nkhaniyo. Mwinanso mutawafunsa angayankhe mosavutikira kuti kugonana asanalowe m’banja n’kulakwa.

Komatu pali zinanso zimene mufunika kuchita. Buku lina linanena kuti achinyamata ena angamavomere pamaso kuti zimene makolo awo amanena pa nkhani zakugonana ndi zoona. Bukuli linati: “Achinyamata zimawavuta kwambiri kusankha okha zoyenera kuchita. Mwachitsanzo, pakachitika zinazake mwadzidzidzi moti akufunika kusankha zochita nthawi yomweyo, amasokonezeka ndipo sadziwa zoyenera kuchita. Zimenezi zimawabweretsera mavuto aakulu.” (Sex Smart). N’chifukwa chake munthu afunika kukhala ndi mfundo zamakhalidwe abwino zimene angamazitsatire pa moyo wake. Kodi mungatani kuti muthandize mwana wanu kukhala ndi mfundo zimenezi?

Auzeni mosapita m’mbali mfundo zimene mumatsatira.

Kodi mumakhulupirira kuti achinyamata sayenera kugonana mpaka atalowa m’banja? Ngati mumakhulupirira zimenezi, muuzeni mwana wanu ndipo muzimufotokozera zimenezi momveka bwino komanso kawirikawiri. Buku lina linanena kuti, kafukufuku amasonyeza kuti “achinyamata ambiri amene makolo awo amawafotokozera mosabisa mawu za kuipa kogonana asanalowe m’banja, amapewadi kugonana mpaka atadzalowa m’banja.”​—Beyond the Big Talk.

Monga tafotokozera kale, kungouza mwana mfundo zimene mumatsatira sizitanthauza kuti zivute zitani mwanayo azitsatira mfundo zanuzo. Komabe kufotokoza momveka bwino mfundo zimene mumafuna kuti banja lanu lizitsatira, kungathandize kuti ana anu nawonso akhale ndi mfundo zawo zamakhalidwe abwino. Komanso kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti achinyamata ambiri m’kupita kwa nthawi amayamba kutsatira mfundo za makolo awo ngakhale kuti ankazinyalanyalaza ali aang’ono.

Aphunzitseni zinthu zonse zokhudza kugonana.

Ndi bwinodi kuti makolo azichenjeza ana awo nkhani zokhudza kugonana. (1 Akorinto 6:18; Yakobo 1:14, 15) Komabe Baibulo limanena kuti kugonana ndi mphatso yochokera kwa Mulungu, osati msampha wa Satana. (Miyambo 5:18, 19; Nyimbo ya Solomo 1:2) Choncho kuuza ana anu achinyamata zoipa zokhazokha zokhudza kugonana kungachititse kuti aziganiza molakwa za nkhaniyi komanso mosagwirizana ndi Malemba. Mtsikana wina wa ku France dzina lake Corrina ananena kuti: “Makolo anga akafuna kunena nkhani zokhudza kugonana, ankangonena za kuipa kwa chiwerewere ndipo zimenezi zinandichititsa kuganiza kuti kugonana ndi koipa nthawi zonse.”

Onetsetsani kuti mwauza ana anu mbali zonse zokhudza kugonana. Mayi wina wa ku Mexico, dzina lake Nadia, ananena kuti: “Pokambirana ndi ana anga nkhani zokhudza kugonana, nthawi zonse ndimawauza kuti kugonana ndi kwabwino chifukwa ndi mmene tinalengedwera. Yehova Mulungu anakonza zoti anthu azigonana ndiponso azisangalala. Koma ndimawauzanso kuti anthu okwatirana okha ndi amene ayenera kugonana. Ndimawauza kuti munthu angasangalale ngati akutsatira dongosolo la Yehova pa nkhaniyi kapena akhoza kupeza mavuto ngati sanatsatire dongosolo limeneli.”

Thandizani mwana wanu wachinyamata kuti  aziganizira zotsatira za kuchita chiwerewere

. Kuti achinyamata azitha kusankha zinthu mwanzeru pa moyo wawo, ayenera kuganizira kaye njira zosiyanasiyana za mmene angachitire chinthucho, kenako n’kuona ubwino ndi kuipa kwa njira iliyonse. Komabe musaganize kuti wachinyamata akangodziwa ubwino ndi kuipa kwa chinthu n’zokwanira. Mayi wina wachikhristu dzina lake Emma, amene amakhala ku Australia, ananena kuti: “Ndikaganizira zimene ndinkalakwitsa ndili wachinyamata, ndimaona kuti kungodziwa malangizo a Mulungu sikutanthauza kuti ukugwirizana nawo. Ndimaona kuti chofunika kwambiri ndi kudziwa ubwino wotsatira malangizo amenewo ndiponso kuipa kosawatsatira.”

Baibulo lingathandize kwambiri pa nkhani imeneyi chifukwa malamulo ake ali ndi mfundo zosonyeza kuopsa kophwanya malamulowo. Mwachitsanzo lemba la Miyambo 5:8, 9 limalangiza achinyamata kuti apewe zachiwerewere ‘kuti asapereke ulemu wawo kwa anthu ena.’ Monga mavesi amenewa akusonyezera, anthu amene amagonana asanalowe m’banja amasonyeza kuti alibe khalidwe labwino ndiponso si okhulupirika kwa Mulungu. Kuwonjezera pamenepa, anthu oterewa amadzichotsera ulemu wawo. Zimenezi zingachititse kuti anthu amene ali ndi makhalidwe abwino asakhale ndi chidwi chowafunsira. Ndiponso kuganizira kuti kuswa malamulo a Mulungu kungadwalitse munthu, kungachititse kuti azivutika maganizo ndiponso kungawonongetse ubwenzi wake ndi Mulungu, kungalimbikitse kwambiri mwana wanu wachinyamata kutsimikiza mtima kutsatira malamulo a Mlungu pa moyo wake. *

Mnyamata wina wa ku Japan wazaka 18, dzina lake Takao, ananena kuti: “Ndimadziwa kuti ndiyenera kuchita zabwino, koma nthawi zonse ndimalimbana ndi zilakolako zoipa.” Achinyamata ngati Takao angalimbikitsidwe ndi mfundo yakuti palinso anthu ena amene ali ndi vuto lomweli. Ndipo ngakhale kuti mtumwi Paulo anali Mkhristu wokhulupirika kwambiri, iye ananena kuti: “Pamene ndikufuna kuchita chinthu chabwino, choipa chimakhala chili ndi ine.”​—Aroma 7:21.

Achinyamata ayenera kudziwa kuti kulimbana ndi zilakolako zoipa sikoipa. Kulimbana ndi zilakolako zoipa kungathandize wachinyamata kuganizira kwambiri kuti akufuna kukhala munthu wotani. Kungamuthandizenso kupeza yankho la funso lakuti: ‘Kodi ndikufuna kuti ndizichita zinthu modziletsa, n’kudziwika kuti ndine munthu wamakhalidwe abwino, kapena ndikufuna kumadziwika kuti ndimangotsatira zimene ena akuchita, n’kumangochita zimene thupi langa lafuna?’ Ngati mwana wanu wachinyamata amatsatira mfundo za makhalidwe abwino pa moyo wake, angathe kuyankha funso limeneli mwanzeru.