Zimene zili munkhaniyi

•  Kodi bambo ali ndi udindo wotani m’banja?

•  Chomwe chimachititsa udindo wa bambo kukhala wofunika kwambiri

•  Abambo ndi ana awo aakazi

•  Malangizo kwa abambo

•   Mwana wanu asanabadwe. Zimene mumachita panopa monga mwamuna zimasonyeza kuti mudzakhala bambo wotani m’tsogolo. Buku lina (Do Fathers Matter?) linanena kuti:

   “Mwamuna amene amathandiza mkazi wake woyembekezera pokagula zinthu zofunika pakhomo, kumuperekeza kuchipatala, kukaona pakompyuta chithunzi cha mwana wawo wosabadwa kapenanso kumvetsera kugunda kwa mtima wake, akhoza kumadzagwirizana kwambiri ndi mkazi wake komanso ndi mwanayo akadzabadwa.”

   “Sindinkafuna kuti mkazi wanga aziona kuti ali yekhayekha panthawi imene anali woyembekezera, choncho ndinkachita chilichonse chimene ndikanatha kuti ndimuthandize. Tinakonzera limodzi chipinda cha mwana wathu. Nthawi yomwe tinkayembekezera kubadwa kwa mwana wathu, inali yapadera kwambiri kwa ifeyo.”—James.

   Mfundo ya m’Baibulo: “Musamaganizire zofuna zanu zokha, koma muziganiziranso zofuna za ena.”—Afilipi 2:4.

•   Mwana wanu akabadwa. Mukhoza kumagwirizana kwambiri ndi mwana wanu mukamasewera naye ndiponso mukamamunyamula. Muzithandizana pomusamalira. Zimene mumachita monga bambo zimakhudza kwambiri mmene mwanu wanu angakulire. Mgwirizano umene mumachita ndi mwana wanu, umasonyeza kuti mumamuona kuti ndi wofunika kwambiri kwa inu.

   “Inunso muzichita zinthu ngati mwana. Muzisewera naye. Muzichita naye zinthu zoseketsa. Musamachite manyazi kuchita zimenezi. Dziwani kuti mwana wanu adzaphunzira kuyamba kusonyeza ena chikondi potengera zimene inuyo monga makolo ake mukumuchitira.”—Richard.

   Mfundo ya m’Baibulo: “Ana ndi cholowa chochokera kwa Yehova; chipatso cha mimba ndicho mphoto.”—Salmo 127:3.

•   Mwana wanu akamakula. Kafukufuku wina anaonetsa kuti ana amene amagwirizana kwambiri ndi bambo awo amachita bwino kusukulu, savutika kwambiri maganizo, ndipo sapezeka kwenikweni ndi vuto logwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza ubongo kapena kuyamba makhalidwe oipa. Muyenera kupeza nthawi yokwanira yochitira zinthu limodzi ndi mwana wanu kuti muzigwirizana kwambiri.

   “Mwana wanga wamwamuna anandiuza kuti akadzachoka pakhomo pathu, adzasowa kwambiri macheza amene timakhala nawo tikakhala pa ulendo wautali kapena tikamadya chakudya madzulo. Tinakambiranapo nkhani zina zofunika kwambiri pa nthawi yomwe sindinkayembekezera n’komwe. Tinakwanitsa kukambirana nkhanizi chifukwa tinkakhala nthawi yaitali tili limodzi.”—Dennis.

   Mfundo ya m’Baibulo: “Samalani kwambiri kuti mmene mukuyendera si monga anthu opanda nzeru, koma ngati anzeru. Muzigwiritsa ntchito bwino nthawi yanu.”—Aefeso 5:15, 16.

 Nthawi zambiri, abambo amatengedwa kuti ndi amene ali ndi udindo wopezera banja zinthu zofunika komanso kuliteteza. Pomwe azimayi, amadziwika kwambiri ndi nkhani yosamalira, kulimbikitsa komanso kuonetsetsa kuti aliyense m’banjamo akusangalala. (Deuteronomo 1:31; Yesaya 49:15) Koma m’mabanja ena, bambo amatha kuchita zinthu zina zomwe mayi amachita kapenanso mayi amatha kuchita zinthu zina zomwe bambo amachita. Komabe, ochita kafukufuku anapeza kuti bambo ndi mayi, aliyense ali ndi mbali yake yofunika kuikwaniritsa polera ana. a

 Mogwirizana ndi mfundo imeneyi, katswiri wina wofufuza nkhani zokhudza mabanja, dzina lake Judith Wallerstein, anafotokoza zimene zinamuchitikira. Iye analemba kuti: “Mwana wanga wamkazi wazaka 12 atagundidwa ndi galimoto, ankafuna kukwera ambulansi ndi bambo ake chifukwa ankaona kuti m’pamene angakhale wotetezeka. Koma kenako atagonekedwa m’chipatala, ankafuna kuti ineyo ndikhale naye pafupi tsiku lonse kuti ndimulimbikitse.” b

 “Abambo amathandiza kuti banja likhale lotetezeka, zinthu zomwe zingakhale zovuta kuti mayi azichite payekha. Komano mayi amapangitsa ana kumva kuti akukondedwa ndiponso amawamvetsera mokoma mtima akamalankhula. Choncho bambo ndi mayi amachita zinthu mogwirizana.”—Daniel.

 Mfundo ya m’Baibulo: “Mwana wanga, tamvera malangizo a bambo ako, usasiye malamulo a mayi ako.”—Miyambo 1:8.

 Monga bambo, zimene mumachitira mwana wanu wamkazi zingamuthandize kudziwa mmene amuna ayenera kuchitira zinthu ndi akazi. Amaphunzira zimenezi m’njira ziwiri izi:

•   Poona mmene mukuchitira zinthu ndi amayi ake. Ngati mumakonda komanso kupereka ulemu kwa mkazi wanu, mwana wanu wamkazi amakhala akuona makhalidwe ofunika amene munthu amene angafune kudzakwatiwa naye m’tsogolo ayenera kukhala nawo.—1 Petulo 3:7.

•   Poona mmene mukuchitira zinthu ndi iyeyo. Ngati mumalemekeza mwana wanu wamkazi, mumakhala mukumuphunzitsa kuti nayenso adzidzipatsa ulemu. Komanso amakhala akuphunzira kuti amuna ena akuyeneranso kumamulemekeza.

   Koma ngati mumangokhalira kumudzudzula pa zilizonse, zingapangitse kuti adziziona ngati wosafunika ndipo angaganize zokafuna amuna ena kuti azimukonda koma amuna amenewa angakhale ndi zolinga zolakwika.

   “Mtsikana amene amakondedwa ndiponso kuthandizidwa ndi bambo ake sangatengeke mtima ndi mwamuna yemwe alibe makhalidwe omwe amafunika mwa mwamuna wabwino.”—Wayne.