aadata, ruchiya te subhaa vich farak hon karke viahuta jodya nu mushkla aa sakdiya han. par kujh mamle hor vi ziada nazuk ho sakde han, jive:

•   rishtedara naal kinna sama bitayiye?

•   kharcha kive chalayiye?

•   bache paida kariye ja na?

 tusi kee kar sakde ho je tuhade te tuhade saathi de vichaar alag-alag hon?

•  tuhanu kee pata hona chaheeda?

•  tusi kee kar sakde ho?

 pasand-napasand ikko jehi hon da matlab eh nahi hai ki tuhadi har nikki-nikki gall ik-dooje naal mildi-juldi hove. itho tak ki jinha pati-patniya di pasand-napasand ziadatar ikko jehi hundi hai, ohna di vi rai hamesha ikko jehi nahi hundi, itho tak ki gambheer mamlya bare vi.

 “meri parvarish is tarha de parivar vich hoi jithe ikatthe same guzarya janda si. shani-aetvaar nu asi apne rishtedara naal sama bitaunde si. mere pati da parivar idda nahi karda si. is layi parivar naal sama guzaran ja door rehnde rishtedara naal gall karan sambandhi sadde vichaar alag-alag san.”—tamara.

 “meri te meri patni di parvarish jis tareeke naal hoi, os karke paisya nu kharchan sambandhi sadde vichaar alag san. viah de shuru de mahineya dauran is bare saddi kayi vaar behes hoi. ik ja do vaar gall karan ’te saddi samassya hall nahi hoi.”—taylor.

 kujh samassyaava samjhauta karan naal hall nahi keetiya ja sakdiya. misal layi, odo kee je sass ja saura bimar ho jave te os di dekh-bhaal karan di lorr hove? ja odo kee je ik saathi bache chahunda hove, par dooja na chahunda hove? *

 “kayi vaar mai te meri patni ne bache paida karan bare kaafi der tak gallbaat keeti. meri patni jinna ziada is bare sochdi hai, unna ziada sadde vichaar alag hunde ja rahe han. mainu samjhauta karan da koi raah nazar nahi aa reha.”—alex.

 alag-alag vichaar hon da matlab nahi ki tuhada viahuta rishta safal nahi ho sakda. kujh mahar kehnde han ki je tusi te tuhada jeevan saathi gambheer mamlya ’te sehmat nahi hunde, taa tuhanu apni marzi karni chaheedi hai chahe is layi tuhanu apna viahuta rishta hi khatam kyo na karna pave. par is tarha de “hall” karke ziada ehmiyat tuhadiya bhavnava nu ditti jandi hai atey viah vich parmeshwar samne khadhi kasam nu bahut ghatt ehmiyat ditti jandi hai ki chahe kujh vi hove, tusi apne jeevan saathi nu nahi chhaddoge.

 viah di kasam nibhaun da pakka irada karo. viah di kasam nibhaun da pakka irada karke tusi ikatthe mil ke apnia samassyaava da hall labh sakoge.

 bible da asool: “jinha nu parmeshwar ne is bandhan vich bannhya hai, koi vi insaan ohna nu add na kare.”—matti 19:6.

 soch-vichaar ke faisla karo. misal layi, mann lo ki ik saathi bache chahunda ha, par dooja nahi chahunda. is bare kayi mamlya ’te gaur karan di lorr hai, jive:

•   tuhada viahuta rishta kinna ku mazboot hai.

   kee tusi apne viahuta rishte vich bache di parvarish di zimmevari poori kar sakde ho?

•   maapya diya zimmevariya.

   roti, kapda te makaan to ilava vi zimmevariya han.

•   tuhadi mali haalat.

   kee tusi kamm, parivar atey hor zimmevariya pooriya kar sakde ho?

 bible da asool: “je tusi burj banaun lagge ho, taa kee tusi pehla baith ke poora hisab nahi laoge?”—luka 14:28.

 mamle de har pehlu ’te gaur karo. tusi shayad kujh mamlya vich sehmat ho jao. misal layi, je mamla bache paida karan ja na karan da hove, taa jehrra saathi bache nahi chahunda, oh apne aap nu puchh sakda hai:

•   ‘jado mai kehnda hai ki mai bache nahi chahunda, taa kee mera matlab hai ki mai kade vi nahi chahunda ja hune nahi chahunda?’

•   ‘kee mai is karke hichkichaunda ha kyoki mainu laggda ki mai ik changa mapa nahi bann sakda?’

•   ‘kee mainu dar hai ki mera saathi mainu nazarandaz karega?’

 dooje pase, jehrra saathi bache chahunda hai, oh apne aap nu puchh sakda hai, jive:

•   ‘kee asi maapya vajo zimmevariya sambhalan layi tyaar ha?’

•   ‘kee asi bache di parvarish da kharcha chukk sakde ha?’

 bible da asool: ‘jis insaan nu swargo budh mili hai, oh insaan apni gall ’te arrya nahi rehnda.’—yakoob 3:17.

 apne saathi de vichara de faidya nu pachhano. jis tarha ik cheez bare do viaktiya de alag-alag vichaar ho sakde han, ose tarha ik jode de kise mamle bare alag-alag vichaar ho sakde han, jive paise kive kharche jaane chaheede han. jis mamle bare tuhade vichaar alag-alag hon, os bare gall karan to pehla ohna galla ’te gaur karo jinha vich tusi sehmat ho.

•   kinha galla ’te tusi sehmat ho?

•   harek de vichaar da kee faida hai?

•   apne viahuta rishte nu mazboot banayi rakhan layi, kee ik jana ja tusi dove jane ik-dooje mutabak apne vichara nu dhaal sakde ho?

 bible da asool: “har koi apna hi faida na soche, sago hamesha doosrya de bhale bare soche.”—1 kurinthiya 10:24.