ICOFASHA UMURYANGO | KURERA ABANA
Kwahukana bigira ingaruka izihe ku bana?
Iyo abubakanye badahuza baca bibwira ko kwahukana bizotuma abana bamererwa neza kuruta kubana n’abavyeyi batumvikana. None ni ibiki bimaze kwigaragaza?
Ni ingaruka izihe ukwahukana kugira ku bana?
Ubushakashatsi bwerekana ko kwahukana bigira ingaruka zibabaje ku bana. Abana bafise abavyeyi bahukanye barashobora kugira ingorane zikurikira:
Ishavu, amaganya n’akabonge
Kugira inyifato ibagirira nabi canke igirira nabi abandi
Kuyoberwa kw’ishure canke kuriheba
Kurwaragurika
N’ikindi kandi, ukwahukana kuratuma abana bitako amakosa, bakibaza ko ari bo babitumye canke ko bari gukinga ngo ntibibe.
Ingorane abana bafise abavyeyi bahukanye bagira zirashobora kubandanya n’igihe bamaze gukura, bigatuma bumva umenga nta gaciro bafise canke bikabagora kwizigira abandi. Birashoboka kandi ko na bo bahukana igihe bagize ingorane mu mubano wabo.
Iciyumviro nyamukuru: Naho abantu bamwebamwe biyumvira ko kwahukana bizotuma abana babo boroherwa, ubushakashatsi bwerekana ko ico ciyumviro atari co. Umuhinga mu vyo kwitwararika abana yitwa Penelope Leach avuga ati: “Kwahukana bituma abana bagira ingorane nyinshi.” a
Ico Bibiliya ivuga: “Umwe wese ubwiwe ntagume araba ivyiwe bwite gusa, ariko arabe n’ivy’abandi.”—Abafilipi 2:4.
Abana banje boba bazorushiriza guhimbarwa ninahukana?
Hari abokwishura ngo ego. Ariko nugumize ku muzirikanyi ko ivyo abavyeyi bakeneye bitandukanye n’ivyo abana bakeneye. Uwuba ashaka kwahukana aba yipfuza ubuzima bushasha. Ariko abana bobo baba bashaka ko abavyeyi babo bagumana.
Umwanditsi w’igitabu kimwe (The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce) amaze kwihweza abantu ibihumbi bahukana, yanditse ati: “Iciyumviro kiratomoye: abana ntibavuga ko barushiriza guhimbarwa. Ahubwo bavuga batomora bati: ‘Umusi abavyeyi banje bahukana ni wo musi kwitwa umwana vyarangira.’” Ico gitabu congerako ko abo bana babona ko kw’isi “ari ahantu hateye akaga cane kubera ko ubucuti bukomeye bahora bafitaniye n’abantu babiri bizigira cane butaba bugikomeye.”
Iciyumviro nyamukuru: Biraboneka ko abana badahimbarwa iyo abavyeyi babo bahukanye.
Ico Bibiliya ivuga: “Umutima ukubititse wumisha amagufa.”—Imigani 17:22.
Nkwiye kumenya iki ku bijanye no gufashanya n’uwo twahukanye kurera abana?
Abahukanye bamwebamwe baragerageza uko bashoboye kwose kwigira nk’aho bakibana, biyumvira ko bashobora gufashanya mu bikorwa vyo kurera abana babo. Ariko gufashanya kurera abana biragoye. Ubushakashatsi bwerekana ko abahukanye kenshi:
bamarana umwanya muto n’abana babo
babaha amategeko avuguruzanya
barekerana abana kubera ko abo bavyeyi biyagiriza canke barushe
Umwana afise abavyeyi bahukanye yoshobora no kutaba akibubaha. Nakare, abavyeyi biwe baba barananiwe kwumira ku vyo basabwa, nk’akarorero indagano bagize yo kugumana. Umwana yoshobora kwibaza ati: “Kubera iki nobumvira?”
Iciyumviro nyamukuru: Ntivyoroshe ko abavyeyi bahukanye bafashanya kurera abana. Ariko ku bana hoho birarushiriza kuba ibigoye.
Ico Bibiliya ivuga: “Ntimuratse abana banyu, kugira ngo ntibavunike umutima.”—Abakolosayi 3:21.
Hoba hariho uburyo bwiza bwo gutorera umuti ingorane zo mu rugo?
Akenshi usanga abahukanye bategerezwa kugira akigoro kenshi kugira batangure ubuzima bushasha kuruta ako bari kugira barondera gukomeza umubano ngo ntusambuke. Igitabu kimwe kivuga ivy’imibano (The Case for Marriage) kigira giti: “Kuba umubano urimwo ingorane ntibisobanura ko bizokwama ukwo. Haciye igihe, benshi mu bari babanye nabi ariko bakagumana baragira agahimbare kenshi mu nyuma.” Muri rusangi, abana bararushiriza kumererwa neza igihe abavyeyi bagumanye.
Ariko ivyo ntibisobanura ko kwahukana bitokwigera bibaho. Nkako, Bibiliya iremera ko haba ukwahukana igihe habaye ubusambanyi. (Matayo 19:9) Ariko kandi Bibiliya iravuga ko ‘umunyabwenge arimbura intambuko ziwe.’ (Imigani 14:15) Umugabo n’umugore babanye nabi babwirizwa kuzirikana neza ingingo bafata harimwo n’ingaruka ukwahukana kwogira ku bana babo.
Ariko ntiwumve, hari n’ibindi bokora uretse kwivugira gusa ngo ni ko zubakwa. Bibiliya iratanga impanuro nziza zofasha abagabo n’abagore gutsimbataza kamere zikenewe kugira bihangane bongere bahimbarwe mu mubano wabo. Ivyo ntibitangaje kubera ko uwandikishije Bibiliya, Yehova Imana, ari we yatanguje umubano.—Matayo 19:4-6.
Ico Bibiliya ivuga: “Jewe Yehova ndi Imana yawe, Umwe akwigisha ibikwungura.”—Yesaya 48:17.
a Vyakuwe mu gitabu Your Growing Child—From Babyhood Through Adolescence.