1. Naho mu ntango abubaka izabo baba banezerewe, ni ibiki bokwitega? (Raba ishusho itangura.)

KU MUSI w’ubugeni, iyo umukwe akubise ijisho umugeni wiwe asa n’irirenga, umunezero bagira ntiwovugwa. Mu gihe co kureshanya, urwo bakundana ruba rwarakomeye cane ku buryo baba biteguriye gusezerana ko bazobana badahemukirana. Ni ivy’ukuri ko bamaze kurushinga bategerezwa kugira ivyo bahinduye, narirya baba batanguye ubuzima bushasha. Ariko Ijambo ry’Imana ririmwo impanuro nziza zigenewe abubatse bose, kuko Umwe yatanguza umubano yipfuza ko abubakanye baroranirwa, bagahimbarwa mu mubano. (Imig. 18:22) Yamara rero, Ivyanditswe biratomora neza yuko abubaka izabo “bazogira amakuba mu mubiri wabo,” kuko badatunganye. (1 Kor. 7:28) None hokorwa iki kugira ngo ayo makuba abe make ashoboka? Vyongeye, ni ibiki vyotuma umubano w’abakirisu uroranirwa?

2. Ni ubwoko butandukanye ubuhe bw’urukundo abubatse bakwiye kugaragaza?

² Bibiliya irerekana ko urukundo ruhambaye. Urukundo rwo  kwiyumvanamwo (philéô mu kigiriki) rurakenewe mu mubano. Urukundo rwo gukwegerana kw’abadasangiye igitsina (érôs) rutuma banezerwa. Bibarutse abana na ho, harakenerwa urukundo rwo kwiyumvamwo abagize umuryango (storgê). Mugabo rero, urukundo rushingiye ku ngingo ngenderwako (agapê) ni rwo ahanini rutuma umubano uroranirwa. Mu kuvuga ivy’urwo rukundo, intumwa Paulo yanditse ati: “Umwe wese muri mwebwe ku ruhande rwiwe akunde umugore wiwe nk’uko yikunda; umugore na we ategerezwa kugirira umugabo wiwe icubahiro kigera kure.”​—Ef. 5:33.

3. Abubakanye bakwiye gukundana ku rugero rungana iki?

³ Paulo yanditse ati: “Bagabo, mubandanye gukunda abagore banyu nk’uko na Kristu yakunze ishengero akaryigura.” (Ef. 5:25) Kugira ngo abayoboke ba Yezu bigane urukundo rwiwe, basabwa gukundana nk’uko yabakunze. (Soma Yohani 13:34, 35; 15:12, 13.) Ku bw’ivyo, abakirisu bubakanye bakwiye gukundana cane ku buryo umwe wese muri bo yokwemera kwigura mugenziwe bibaye ngombwa. Ico nyene ni co yokora bishitse hakaduka ukutumvikana gukomeye. Naho ari ukwo, urukundo agapê “rurenzako muri vyose, rwemera vyose, rwizigira vyose, rwihanganira vyose.” Egome, “urukundo ntirwigera runanirwa.” (1 Kor. 13:7, 8) Abubakanye batinya Imana, baguma bibuka ko basezeranye gukundana no kudahemukiranira. Ivyo bituma bompi barondera kwisunga ingingo ngenderwako za Yehova mu gutorera umuti ingorane yose yokwaduka.

4, 5. (a) Kuba umugabo ari umutwe w’urugo bituma agira ibanga irihe? (b) Umugore akwiye kubona gute ubukuru bw’umugabo wiwe? (c) Ni ibiki umugore umwe n’umugabo wiwe babwirijwe guhindura?

⁴ Mu kwerekana ibanga ryega umwe wese mu bubakanye, Paulo yanditse ati: “Abagore bayobokere abagabo babo nk’uko bayobokera Umukama, kubera ko umugabo ari umutwe w’umugore wiwe nk’uko na Kristu ari umutwe w’ishengero.” (Ef. 5:22, 23) Iyo ntunganyo ntishira umugore munsi y’umugabo wiwe. Ahubwo imufasha kurangura uruhara Imana yamugeneye, igihe yavuga iti: “Si vyiza ko uyu muntu [Adamu] aguma ari wenyene. Ngiye kumukorera umufasha bikwiranye.” (Ita. 2:18) Nk’uko nyene Kristu, we “mutwe w’ishengero,” agaragaza urukundo, ni ko n’umunega mukirisu akwiye gukoresha ubukuru bwiwe abigiranye urukundo. Ivyo bituma umugore wiwe yumva ko aruhuriwe, na we agaca ahimbarwa no kumwubaha, kumushigikira no kumuyobokera.

⁵ Uwitwa Cathy ^[1] aremera ko kwubaka bisaba kugira ivyo uhinduye. Avuga ati: “Nkiri inkumi, narishira nkizana kandi nkibako. Igihe nubaka vyarahindutse, kuko naciye niga kuza nditura umugabo wanje. Naho bitari vyoroshe, kwisunga ubuyobozi Yehova atanga vyatumye turushiriza kwiyegerezanya.” Umugabo wiwe Fred, avuga ati: “Gufata ingingo ntivyigeze binyorohera. Maze kwubaka vyarushirije kuba urugamba, kuko nazirikana abantu babiri. Ariko rero, kwitura Yehova mw’isengesho ndamusaba ubuyobozi no kwumviriza ivyiyumviro vy’umukenyezi wanje, vyatumye ngenda ndoroherwa buri musi. Emwe, ndabona ko dusenyera ku mugozi umwe!”

6. Ni gute urukundo ruba “umugozi utagira akanenge wunga ubumwe” igihe havyutse ingorane mu mubano?

⁶ Igihe uwubatse yirengagiza utunenge tw’uwo bubakanye, umubano wabo urakomera. ‘Barabandanya kwihanganirana no kubabarirana ata gahigihigi.’ Ego ni ko, abubakanye bompi barakora amakosa. Ariko rero iyo bishitse, kaba ari akaryo ko kugira ico bigiye kuri ayo makosa, kubabarirana no kureka urukundo rukababera “umugozi utagira akanenge wunga ubumwe.” (Kol. 3:13, 14) Vyongeye,  “urukundo ruriyumanganya kandi rugira ubuntu. . . . Ntiruza ruraharura ikibi rukorewe.” (1 Kor. 13:4, 5) Ukutumvikana gukwiye gutorerwa umuti bidatevye. Abakirisu bubakanye rero bakwiye kugerageza gutunganya ingorane imbere y’uko umusi urangira. (Ef. 4:26, 27) Kuvuga ata buryarya ngo “mbabarira kubona nakubabaje,” bisaba kwicisha bugufi no kurya umutima amenyo. Ariko rero, birafasha cane mu gutorera umuti ingorane no mu gutuma abubatse barushiriza kwiyegerezanya.

7, 8. (a) Ni impanuro iyihe Bibiliya itanga ku bijanye no kurangura amabanga y’abubatse? (b) Kubera iki abubakanye bakwiye kugaragarizanya ikibabarwe?

⁷ Bibiliya irimwo impanuro nziza zishobora gufasha ababiranye kugira uburimbane mu bijanye no kurangura amabanga y’abubatse. (Soma 1 Abakorinto 7:3-5.) Birahambaye cane ko urimbura ubigiranye urukundo ivyo uwo mwubakanye akeneye be n’ukuntu yiyumva. Hamwe umugore atogaragarizwa ikibabarwe, yoshobora kutaryohererwa ayo mabanga y’abubatse. Abagabo baremeshwa ‘kwisunga ubumenyi’ mu kuntu bafata abagore babo. (1 Pet. 3:7) Kurangura amabanga y’abubatse ntibikwiye kujamwo agahato canke itegeko, ariko bikwiye kuba ibintu vyizana. Akenshi usanga umugabo anyaruka kwumva ko avyiteguriye kuruta umugore. Ariko rero, bikwiye kugirwa ari uko bompi biyumvamwo ko bavyiteguriye.

⁸ Naho Bibiliya idashinga amategeko adomako mu bijanye n’ivyo abubakanye bogira be n’ivyo batogira imbere canke mu gihe co kurangura amabanga y’abubatse, iravuga ibijanye n’ibimenyetso vyo kugaragarizanya urukundo. (Ind. 1:2; 2:6) Abakirisu bubakanye bakwiye kugaragarizanya ikibabarwe.

9. Kubera iki bitemewe ko umuntu agirira inambu uwo batubakanye?

⁹ Igihe umuntu akunda cane Imana hamwe na mugenziwe, nta muntu n’umwe canke ikintu na kimwe yemera ko gihungabanya ubucuti afitaniye n’uwo bubakanye. Hari imibano yagize ingorane canke mbere irasambuka, kubera umwe mu bubakanye yiziziwe no kuraba amashusho y’ibiterasoni. Umuntu arakwiye kurwanya yivuye inyuma agatima ko kuraba ibintu nk’ivyo canke kugirira inambu uwo batubakanye. Arakwiye no kwirinda kugira ibintu vyotuma akwegerana n’uwo batubakanye, kuko bitaranga urukundo. Kwibuka ko Imana izi ivyo twiyumvira be n’ivyo dukora vyose bizotuma turushiriza kugira icipfuzo co kuyihimbara no kuguma tutanduye.​—Soma Matayo 5:27, 28; Abaheburayo 4:13.

10, 11. (a) Abantu bahukana ku rugero rungana iki? (b) Bibiliya ivuga iki ku bijanye n’ugutandukana? (c) Ni ibiki vyofasha umuntu kutihutira gutandukana n’uwo bubakanye?

¹⁰ Igihe abubakanye badatoreye umuti ingorane zikomeye bafitaniye, vyoshobora gutuma umwe muri bo canke bompi biyumvira gutandukana canke kwahukana. Mu bihugu bimwebimwe, abubakanye barenga mirongo itanu kw’ijana baruhira kwahukana. Naho ivyo bidakunze gushika mu bakirisu, ntidukwiye gufata minenegwe ingorane zirushiriza kwiyongera mu ngo z’abasavyi b’Imana.

¹¹ Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Umugore [ntakwiye kuvana] n’umugabo wiwe; mugabo aramutse avanye na we vy’ukuri, nagume atubatse canke na ho asubirane n’umugabo wiwe; kandi umugabo ntakwiye guta umugore wiwe.” (1 Kor. 7:10, 11) Gutandukana n’uwo mwubakanye si ikintu co gukinisha. Naho vyosa n’uko ari yo nyishu igihe hadutse ingorane zikomeye, akenshi bituma ingorane ziyongera. Yezu ahejeje gusubiramwo ivyo Imana yavuze ku bijanye n’ingene umugabo yosize se na nyina akifatanya n’umugore  wiwe, yaciye avuga ati: “Ico Imana yaboheye ku ngǒgo imwe, umuntu ntakagitanye.” (Mat. 19:3-6; Ita. 2:24) Ivyo bisigura kandi yuko yaba uwo mugabo canke uwo mugore, ata wukwiye ‘gutandukanya ico Imana yaboheye ku ngǒgo imwe.’ Yehova yipfuza ko umugabo n’umugore babana ubuzima bwabo bwose. (1 Kor. 7:39) Kwama twibuka ko twese Imana izogira ico itubajije, bikwiye gutuma abubakanye bihatira gutunganya ingorane ningoga aho kurindira ko zirinda gukomera.

12. Ni ibiki vyoshobora gutuma abubatse biyumvira ivyo gutandukana?

¹² Kwitega ibidashoboka vyoshobora kuba umuzi w’ingorane mu mubano. Igihe umuntu adahimbawe mu mubano nk’uko yari avyiteze, yoshobora kubura umunezero, akabona ko yahenzwe, mbere akagira umujinya. Kuba abubakanye batiyumva kumwe kandi ntibabe bakuriye hamwe vyoshobora gucika ingorane. Vyongeye, ukutumvikana kwoshobora kuva ku bibazo vy’amahera, ku bo mu miryango canke ku kurera abana. Ariko rero, birashimishije kubona abakirisu bubakanye benshi batorera umuti mwene izo ngorane zose, kubera ko bemera kuyoborwa n’Imana.

13. Ni imvo zumvikana izihe zotuma umuntu atandukana n’uwo bubakanye?

¹³ Hariho igihe gutandukana vyoshobora kuba ivyumvikana. Hari ababigira kubera ko abo bubakanye banka kubaronsa n’ibigirankana ivya nkenerwa, bababoreza igufa canke babangamira bimwe vyeruye ubucuti bafitaniye n’Imana. Igihe abakirisu bafise ingorane zikomeye mu mubano, bakwiye kwitura abakurambere. Abo bavukanyi bazi utuntu n’utundi barashobora gufasha abubakanye gushira mu ngiro impanuro ziri mw’Ijambo ry’Imana. Igihe dutunganya ingorane zo mu mubano, turakwiye kandi gusaba Yehova ngo aduhe impwemu yiwe yongere adufashe kwisunga Bibiliya no kugaragaza icamwa c’impwemu yiwe.​—Gal. 5:22, 23. ^[2]

14. Bibiliya ibwira iki abakirisu bubakanye n’abadasenga Yehova?

¹⁴ Birashika umwe mu bubakanye akaba ataraba umusavyi wa Yehova. Igihe vyifashe ukwo, Bibiliya irerekana imvo zotuma batavana. (Soma 1 Abakorinto 7:12-14.) Abimenya canke atabimenya, uwuba atizeye ‘arezwa’ bivuye ku kuba yubakanye n’uwizeye. N’abana bibaruka babonwa ko ari “beranda,” bakaba rero barabwa ryiza n’Imana. Paulo avuga ati: “Mugore, uzi gute ko utazokiza umugabo wawe? Canke ga mugabo, uzi gute ko utazokiza umugore wawe?” (1 Kor. 7:16) Amashengero nka yose y’Ivyabona vya Yehova arafise abubakanye, aho usanga umwe yarakoreshejwe mu ‘kurokora’ uwo bubakanye.

15, 16. (a) Ni impanuro iyihe Bibiliya iha abakenyezi bafise abagabo badasenga Yehova? (b) Umukirisu yokora iki mu gihe uwo bubakanye atizera ahisemwo kugenda?

¹⁵ Intumwa Petero ahanura abakenyezi bakirisu kuyobokera abagabo babo, “kugira ngo nimba hari abatagamburukira rya jambo, bagondozwe ata jambo rivuzwe, biciye ku ngeso z’abagore babo, kubera biboneye ingeso [zabo] zitanduye ziri kumwe n’icubahiro kigera kure.” Igihe umugore agaragaje “umutima utekereje kandi witonda, ari wo w’agaciro kanini mu maso y’Imana,” arashobora gukwegera umugabo wiwe ku gusenga kw’ukuri, kuruta uko yobigira mu kuza aramubwira ivyo twemera adudurirako.​—1 Pet. 3:1-4.

¹⁶ Vyogenda gute ho nimba uwo atizera ahisemwo gutandukana na we? Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Nimba uwutemera agiye, nagende; mwene wacu canke mushiki wacu ntahambirwa igihe ibintu vyifashe gutyo, mugabo Imana yabahamagariye amahoro.” (1 Kor. 7:15) Naho Ivyanditswe bidaha uwo mukirisu uburenganzira bwo guca yubakana n’uwundi, ntakwiye guhata  uwutemera ngo bagumane. Gutandukana vyoshobora gutuma haba agahengwe. Vyongeye, uwo mukirisu arashobora kwizigira ko uwo amutaye azogaruka yemera ko bakorera hamwe kugira bazigame umubano wabo. Amaherezo, yoshobora no kwakira ukuri.

17. Ni ibiki abakirisu bubakanye bakwiye gushira imbere?

¹⁷ Kubera ko tugeze kure mu “misi ya nyuma,” turaca mu “bihe bitoroshe kandi bigoye kwihanganira.” (2 Tim. 3:1-5) Ariko rero, kuguma dukomeye mu vy’impwemu bizodufasha cane kunanira inyosha mbi z’iyi si. Paulo yanditse ati: “Igihe gisigaye ni kigufi. Kuva ubu abafise abagore babe nk’aho ata bo bafise, . . . n’abakoresha isi babe nk’abatayikoresha rwose.” (1 Kor. 7:29-31) Paulo ntiyariko abwira abubakanye gufata minenegwe amabanga bajejwe mu rugo. Ariko kubera ko igihe gisigaye ari gito, barakwiye gushira imbere ivy’impwemu.​—Mat. 6:33.

18. Kubera iki abakirisu bashobora gutuma umubano wabo uroranirwa?

¹⁸ Naho tubaye mu bihe bigoye cane, imibano na yo ikaba igeramiwe hirya no hino, turashobora gutuma umubano wacu uroranirwa. Ego cane, mu gihe abakirisu bubakanye bagumye bifatanije n’abasavyi ba Yehova, bakisunga impanuro zo muri Bibiliya kandi bakemera kuyoborwa n’impwemu nyeranda ya Yehova, barashobora gukingira “ico Imana yaboheye ku ngǒgo imwe.”​—Mrk. 10:9.