Akiri umwana yakubwiraga byose, ariko ageze mu gihe cy’amabyiruka, ntiyongera kugira icyo akubwira. Iyo ugerageje kuganira na we, arinumira cyangwa akagutonganya maze impaka zikaba ziravutse.

Ushobora kwitoza kuganira n’umwana wawe w’ingimbi cyangwa umwangavu. Icyakora hari ibintu bibiri ugomba kubanza gusuzuma bituma icyo kibazo kivuka.

Baba bashaka kwigenga. Kugira ngo umwana wawe azavemo umuntu ushoboye kandi ushobora guhangana n’ibibazo ahura na byo mu buzima, ntibiza mu kanya gato; biza buhoro buhoro. Birumvikana ko hari ingimbi n’abangavu baba bifuza umudendezo uruta uwo bagombye kugira. Ariko ku rundi ruhande, hari ababyeyi bakabya kwima abana babo umudendezo. Ubwumvikane buke buvuka bitewe n’izo mpamvu, bushobora guteza amakimbirane hagati y’ababyeyi n’abana. Brad * ufite imyaka 16, yaravuze ati “ababyeyi banjye baba bashaka kungenzura kuri buri kantu kose. Ningira imyaka 18 batarampa umudendezo nifuza, nzigendera.”

Ubushobozi bwo gutekereza. Nubwo abakiri bato badatinda ku bintu kandi bakemera ibintu nk’uko babibwiwe, bagera mu gihe cy’amabyiruka bigahinduka, bakareba kure ku buryo baba bashaka kumenya impamvu babwiwe ibi n’ibi. Icyo rero ni kimwe mu biranga umuntu ufite ubushobozi bwo gutekereza, kandi bifasha umwana ubyiruka gufata imyanzuro myiza. Reka dufate urugero: iyo umubyeyi afashe igisuguti akakigabanya abana babiri, buri wese akanganya na mugenzi we, bombi bahita bumva ko nyina yabafashe kimwe, ko nta warenganye kuko nta wabonye igice kinini ngo undi abone gito. Ariko abageze mu gihe cy’amabyiruka bo si uko batekereza. N’ubundi kandi, kutarenganya ntibisobanura gufata abantu kimwe. Kandi urebye, gufata abantu kimwe utitaye ku miterere yabo, si ko buri gihe biba bikwiriye. Ubwo rero, ubushobozi bwo gutekereza bufasha umwana uri mu gihe cy’amabyiruka guhangana n’ibyo bibazo byose. Ibyo bigira izihe ngaruka? Bishobora no gutuma mutangira guhangana.

Mu gihe bishoboka, ujye uganira n’abana bawe ibi bisanzwe kandi uganire na bo igihe cyose ubonye uburyo. Urugero, hari ababyeyi babonye ko abana bari mu gihe cy’amabyiruka bababwira ikibari ku mutima iyo bari kumwe mu turimo two mu rugo, cyangwa mu modoka bitemberera, aho kuba cya gihe bicaranye bafite gahunda yo kuganira ku kibazo runaka.—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Gutegeka kwa Kabiri 6:6, 7.

Ntukamurambire. Kujya impaka n’umwana ku kibazo runaka kugeza igihe ikiganiro kirangiriye nabi, si byiza. Ahubwo ujye umubwira icyo ushaka . . . ubundi urekere aho. Ibyinshi mu byo wamubwiye abisobanukirwa nyuma yaho ari wenyine, afite akanya ko kubitekerezaho. Ubwo rero, byaba byiza ugiye umuha umwanya wo kubigenza atyo.—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Imigani 1:1-4.

Jya umutega amatwi kandi uve ku izima. Jya utega umwana wawe amatwi witonze, nta kumuca mu ijambo, kugira ngo usobanukirwe neza uko ikibazo giteye. Mu gihe umusubiza, ujye ushyira mu gaciro. Iyo ushyizeho amategeko atagoragozwa, umwana wawe ashakisha uko yayarengaho mu mayeri. Hari igitabo kivuga ibyo gushyikirana n’abana bageze mu gihe cy’amabyiruka cyaburiye ababyeyi kigira kiti “iyo abana bameze batyo ni bwo bagira imibereho y’amaharakubiri. Hari ibintu abana bemerera ababyeyi babo kuko ari byo bashaka kumva, ubundi baba batari kumwe na bo, bagakora ibyo bishakiye.”—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Abafilipi 4:5.

Jya utuza. Hari umwangavu witwa Kari wavuze ati “iyo hari icyo ntumvikanyeho na mama, ahita atangira kurakazwa n’icyo mubwiye cyose. Ibyo bituma nanjye ndakara maze ibyari ikiganiro bigahinduka intonganya.” Aho kugira ngo urakare, ujye ubwira umwana wawe ikintu kigaragaza ko wiyumvisha uko amerewe. Urugero, aho kugira ngo umubwire ko ibibazo afite bitagombye kumuhangayikisha, mubwire uti “humura rwose, nanjye ndabona ko biguhangayikishije cyane.”—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Imigani 10:19.

Aho kumutegeka icyo agomba gukora, kora uko ushoboye umufashe kubona icyo yakora. Imitekerereze y’umwana wawe uri mu gihe cy’amabyiruka, iba imeze nk’imikaya ikeneye gutozwa. Ubwo rero, mu gihe ahuye n’ikibazo, ntugahite ugikemura. Ibyo nta ho byaba bitandukaniye no kumukorera siporo kugira ngo imikaya ye irusheho gukomera! Ahubwo mu gihe muganira, ujye umureka na we agere ku muti w’ikibazo. Nyuma yo kungurana ibitekerezo, ushobora kumwereka uburyo bumwe na bumwe ashobora gukemuramo ikibazo, maze ukamubwira uti “genda ubitekerezeho maze nyuma y’umunsi umwe cyangwa ibiri tuzongere tuganire, umbwire uko wagikemura n’impamvu wagikemura utyo.”—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Abaheburayo 5:14.