Jya ukunda abagize umuryango wawe

“IBESHYE uyitwike! Ngaho se!” Uko ni ko Tohru yabwiye umugore we Yoko. * Yaramushubije ati “ndayitwika ye, maze ikibyimbye kimeneke.” Ubwo yahise arasa umwambi kugira ngo atwike ifoto yabo bombi. Hanyuma yarakankamye ati “iyi nzu ndayitwika!” Tohru yamukubise urushyi intonganya ziba zishojwe n’urugomo.

Tohru na Yoko bari bamaze imyaka itatu bashyingiranywe, kandi babanaga neza. None se byaje kugenda bite? Nubwo byagaragaraga ko Tohru yari umugabo mwiza, umugore we yumvaga ko atamugaragariza urukundo kandi ko atita ku byiyumvo bye. Yasaga n’aho atabonaga urukundo umugore we yamugaragarizaga. Yoko ntiyashoboye kubyihanganira, ahubwo yagendaga arushaho kuba umurakare. Yatangiye kujya abura ibitotsi, agahangayika, ntabashe kurya, akarakazwa n’ubusa, akiheba, ndetse hari nubwo yumvaga afite ikintu cy’icyoba. Nyamara, Tohru we yasaga n’aho atitaye ku mpagarara zari mu rugo rwe. We yumvaga ari ibisanzwe.

“Ibihe birushya”

Bene ibyo bibazo birogeye cyane muri iki gihe. Intumwa Pawulo yahanuye ko abantu bo muri iki gihe batari ‘gukunda n’ababo’ (2 Timoteyo 3:1-5). Aha ngaha, ijambo ry’Ikigiriki ry’umwimerere ryahinduwemo ‘kudakunda n’ababo,’ rifitanye isano rya bugufi n’ijambo rikoreshwa mu kugaragaza urukundo rurangwa mu bagize umuryango. Muri iki gihe usanga urwo rukundo rwarabaye ingume. Nubwo abagize umuryango baba barufite, usanga kenshi na kenshi batarugaragarizanya.

Ababyeyi benshi muri iki gihe ntibazi kugaragariza abana babo urukundo. Bamwe usanga barakuriye mu miryango itarangwa n’urukundo, bityo ntibiyumvisha ko iyo ukunzwe kandi ugakunda, icyo gihe wumva ufite ibyishimo. Ibyo birasa n’aho ari ko byari bimeze kuri Tohru. Igihe yari akiri umwana, se yahoraga ahugiye mu kazi agataha nijoro cyane. Ntiyakundaga kuvugisha Tohru, kandi n’iyo yabaga amuvugishije, yamubwiraga amagambo mabi. Nyina na we yarakoraga ku buryo nta gihe kinini bamaranaga. Televiziyo ni yo yamureraga. Mu muryango nta washimaga undi habe no kuba baganira.

Umuco na wo ushobora kubigiramo uruhare. Mu bice bimwe byo muri Amerika y’Amajyepfo, biba ngombwa ko umugabo arenga ku muco karande kugira ngo agaragarize umugore we urukundo. Mu bihugu byinshi byo mu Burasirazuba no muri Afurika, ntibihuje n’umuco ko umuntu agaragaza urukundo haba mu magambo cyangwa mu bikorwa. Abagabo bashobora kutabangukirwa no kubwira abagore cyangwa abana babo ko babakunda. Icyakora, dushobora kuvana isomo ku muryango w’ibanze wabanye neza kuva kera kose.

 Umuryango w’intangarugero

Imishyikirano ya bugufi Yehova Imana agirana n’Umwana we w’ikinege, ni urugero ruhebuje imiryango yagombye gukurikiza. Bagaragarizanya urukundo ruzira amakemwa. Yesu Kristo yamaze imyaka itabarika abana na Se mu byishimo, ari ikiremwa cy’umwuka. Yavuze iby’iyo mishyikirano agira ati “nari umunezero wayo iminsi yose, ngahora nezerewe imbere yayo” (Imigani 8:30). Umwana yari azi rwose ko Se amukunda ku buryo yashoboraga kubwira abandi ko Yehova yamwishimiraga iminsi yose. Yahoraga anezerewe imbere ya Se.

Ndetse n’igihe Umwana w’Imana yari ku isi, Se yamwijeje ko amukunda rwose. Mu gihe Yesu yari amaze kubatizwa, yumvise ijwi rya Se rigira riti “nguyu Umwana wanjye nkunda nkamwishimira” (Matayo 3:17). Mbega ukuntu kuba Yesu yarumvise ayo magambo y’urukundo igihe yatangiraga umurimo we hano ku isi byamuteye inkunga! Kumva Se amubwira ko amwemera bigomba kuba byaramukoze ku mutima igihe yibukaga imibereho yari afite mu ijuru.

Nguko uko Yehova yahaye umuryango we wose urugero ruhebuje mu kugaragaza urukundo rusesuye. Nitwemera Yesu Kristo, natwe Yehova ashobora kudukunda (Yohana 16:27). Nubwo tutazumva ijwi riturutse mu ijuru ribitubwira, tuzabonera urukundo rwa Yehova mu byo yaremye, mu kuba yaratanze igitambo cy’incungu cya Yesu no mu bundi buryo (1 Yohana 4:9, 10). Yehova yumva amasengesho yacu kandi akayasubiza akurikije ibyatugirira umumaro (Zaburi 145:18; Yesaya 48:17). Uko turushaho kugirana na we imishyikirano ya bugufi, ni na ko turushaho gushimira ku bwo kuba atwitaho mu buryo burangwa n’urukundo.

Yesu yigiye kuri Se umuco wo kwishyira mu mwanya w’abandi, kubazirikana, kubagaragariza ineza no kubitaho mu buryo bwimbitse. Yaravuze ati ‘ibyo Se akora byose, n’Umwana ni byo akora, kuko Se akunda Umwana we, akamwereka ibyo akora byose’ (Yohana 5:19, 20). Natwe dushobora kugaragaza urukundo turamutse dutekereje ku rugero twasigiwe na Yesu igihe yari ku isi.—Abafilipi 1:8.

Ni gute twagaragaza urukundo mu muryango?

Kubera ko “Imana ari urukundo” kandi tukaba ‘twararemwe mu ishusho yayo,’ dushobora kugira urukundo kandi tukarugaragaza (1 Yohana 4:8; Itangiriro 1:26, 27). Ariko ibyo ntibipfa kwikora gutya gusa. Tugomba mbere na mbere kumva dukunze uwo twashakanye ndetse n’abana bacu, kugira ngo tubashe nyine kubagaragariza ko tubakunda. Jya umenya gushishoza kugira ngo ubone imico myiza bafite abe ari yo uzirikana, nubwo mu mizo ya mbere ishobora gusa n’aho nta cyo ivuze. Ushobora kuvuga uti ‘jye nta kintu cyiza mbona ku mugabo wanjye [ku mugore cyangwa ku bana banjye].’ Abarambagirijwe n’ababyeyi babo cyangwa n’undi muntu bashobora kuba batarigeze bakunda abo bashakanye. Hari n’abashakanye bashobora kuba batarifuzaga kugira abana. Nyamara, reka turebe ukuntu Yehova yabonaga umugore we w’ikigereranyo, ni ukuvuga ishyanga rya Isirayeli, mu kinyejana cya cumi M.I.C. Nubwo umuhanuzi we, Eliya, yavuze ko ari nta wundi muntu usenga Yehova wari usigaye mu ishyanga rya Isirayeli ryari rigizwe n’imiryango cumi, Yehova we yagenzuye neza asanga hari abantu bagera ku 7.000 bari bafite imico imushimisha. Wowe se ntiwakwigana Yehova ushakisha imico myiza mu bagize umuryango wawe?—1 Abami 19:14-18.

Icyakora, kugira ngo abagize umuryango wawe bamenye ko ubakunda, ugomba gushyiraho imihati ukabigaragaza. Igihe cyose ubonye umuntu akoze ikintu cyiza, mubwire  amagambo amugaragariza ko bigushimishije. Mu kuvuga ibihereranye n’umugore ushoboye, Ijambo ry’Imana ryerekeza ku muco ushishikaje ugaragazwa n’abagize umuryango we, rigira riti “abana be barahaguruka bakamwita Munyamugisha; n’umugabo we na we aramushima” (Imigani 31:28). Zirikana ukuntu abagize uwo muryango bagaragarizanyaga ugushimira bisanzuye. Mu gihe se w’abana abwira umugore we amagambo yo kumushimira, aba aha umwana we w’umuhungu urugero rwiza, amutera inkunga yo kuzajya ashimira umugore azashaka.

Ikindi nanone, ababyeyi na bo bagombye kujya bashimira abana babo. Ibyo byatuma abana bumva bafite agaciro. Ubundi se, ni gute umuntu yakunda ‘mugenzi we nk’uko yikunda’ mu gihe we ubwe yaba yumva nta cyo amaze (Matayo 22:39)? Ibinyuranye n’ibyo, iyo ababyeyi bahora banenga abana babo, batigera na rimwe babashimira, abana bashobora kumva rwose bigaye bityo kugaragariza abandi urukundo bikabagora.—Abefeso 4:31, 32.

Ushobora kubona ubufasha

Wabyifatamo ute se mu gihe waba utarakuriye mu muryango urangwa n’urukundo? Ibyo ntibivuga ko utakwitoza kurugaragaza. Intambwe ya mbere ni ukumenya ko ufite iyo ngorane maze ukemera ko ukeneye kugira icyo uhindura. Ijambo ry’Imana, Bibiliya, ryabigufashamo rwose. Twarigereranya n’indorerwamo. Iyo twisuzumye twifashishije inyigisho zo muri Bibiliya zigereranywa n’indorerwamo, duhita tumenya aho dufite inenge mu mitekerereze yacu (Yakobo 1:23). Mu buryo buhuje n’inyigisho zo muri Bibiliya, dushobora gukosora ibitekerezo bidakwiriye twaba dufite (Abefeso 4:20-24; Abafilipi 4:8, 9). Ibyo tugomba kubikora buri gihe, ntitwigere na rimwe ‘ducogorera gukora neza.’—Abagalatiya 6:9.

Kuri bamwe, kugaragaza urukundo bishobora kutaborohera bitewe n’imimerere cyangwa umuco bakuriyemo. Icyakora, ubushakashatsi buherutse gukorwa bugaragaza ko izo nzitizi zishobora kuneshwa. Umuganga w’impuguke mu byo kuvura indwara zo mu mutwe witwa Daniel Goleman, yavuze ko ‘umuntu ashobora guhinduka akareka kamere aba yaratoye akiri umwana, kabone n’iyo yaba yarabaye akarande.’ Mu binyejana 19 bishize, Bibiliya yagaragaje ko binyuriye ku bufasha bw’umwuka w’Imana, imitekerereze iba yarashinze imizi mu mutima ishobora kurandurwa. Itugira inama igira iti ‘mwiyambure umuntu wa kera n’imirimo ye, mwambare umushya.’—Abakolosayi 3:9, 10.

Iyo abagize umuryango bamaze gutahura aho ikibazo kiri, bashobora kwigira hamwe Bibiliya bazirikana ibyo bakeneye kunonosora. Urugero, mushobora gukora ubushakashatsi mukareba icyo Bibiliya ivuga ku bihereranye n’ “imbabazi.” Mushobora gusangamo umurongo nk’uyu ugira uti “mwumvise ibyo kwihangana kwa Yobu, kandi muzi ibyo Umwami Imana yaherutse kumugirira, kuko ifite imbabazi nyinshi n’impuhwe” (Yakobo 5:11). Hanyuma, mwasuzuma inkuru yo muri Bibiliya ivuga ibya Yobu, mwibanda ku kuntu Yehova yamugiriye imbabazi n’impuhwe. Muzumva rwose mushaka kwigana Yehova mugaragariza abagize umuryango wanyu imbabazi n’impuhwe.

Ariko kubera ko tudatunganye, usanga ‘twese ducumura kenshi’ mu byo tuvuga (Yakobo 3:2). Kuvugisha abagize umuryango wacu mu buryo bubatera inkunga bishobora kutugora. Icyo gihe tugomba gusenga Yehova kandi tukamwishingikirizaho. Ntitugacogore. ‘Dusenge ubudasiba’  (1 Abatesalonike 5:17). Yehova azafasha abifuza kugaragarizwa urukundo mu muryango, ndetse n’abifuza kurugaragaza ariko bakaba bafite inzitizi.

Ikindi kandi, Yehova yatugiriye neza ateganya ko twabonera ubufasha mu itorero rya Gikristo. Yakobo yaranditse ati “muri mwe hariho urwaye [mu buryo bw’umwuka]? Natumire abakuru b’itorero, bamusabire, bamusīze amavuta mu izina ry’Umwami” (Yakobo 5:14). Mu by’ukuri, abasaza bo mu matorero y’Abahamya ba Yehova bashobora gufasha imiryango igizwe n’abantu bafite ingorane mu kugaragarizanya urukundo. Nubwo abasaza atari intiti mu bihereranye n’imitekerereze y’abantu, bashobora kunganira bagenzi babo bahuje ukwizera babigiranye ukwihangana. Ibyo ntibivuga ko bazajya bababwira ibyo bagomba gukora, ahubwo bivuga ko babibutsa uko Yehova abona ibyo bintu, hanyuma bakifatanya na bo mu isengesho kandi bakabasabira.—Zaburi 119:105; Abagalatiya 6:1.

Ku birebana na Tohru na Yoko, buri gihe abasaza b’Abakristo bajyaga babatega amatwi bakumva ibibazo byabo maze bakabahumuriza (1 Petero 5:2, 3). Hari igihe umusaza yajyaga kubasura ari kumwe n’umugore we, kugira ngo Yoko abe yaganira n’uwo Mukristokazi w’inararibonye washoboraga kumwibutsa ibihereranye no ‘gukunda umugabo we’ (Tito 2:3, 4). Abasaza ‘baba nk’aho kwikinga umuyaga, n’ubwugamo bw’umugaru’ igihe bagaragaza ko biyumvisha imibabaro n’intimba bagenzi babo bahuje ukwizera bafite kandi bakishyira mu mwanya wabo.—Yesaya 32:1, 2.

Abasaza bafashije Tohru kubona ko yari afite ikibazo cyo kugaragariza umugore we urukundo, no kubona ko muri iyi ‘minsi y’imperuka’ Satani yibasira imiryango (2 Timoteyo 3:1). Tohru yafashe umwanzuro wo kwita kuri icyo kibazo. Yatangiye kubona ko kuba atarigeze agaragarizwa urukundo mu muryango we byatumye na we adashobora kurugaragariza umugore we. Yatangiye kwiga Bibiliya abishishikariye kandi asengana umwete, bituma arushaho kwita ku byiyumvo bya Yoko.

Nubwo Yoko yari yarabaye umurakare, mu gihe yamenyaga imimerere Tohru yakuriyemo kandi akabona ko na we ubwe yari afite amakosa, yashyizeho imihati idasanzwe kugira ngo ajye abona imico myiza umugabo we yari afite (Matayo 7:1-3; Abaroma 5:12; Abakolosayi 3:12-14). Yasabye Yehova abivanye ku mutima ko yamufasha kugira ngo akomeze gukunda umugabo we (Abafilipi 4:6, 7). Igihe cyarageze Tohru atangira kujya agaragariza umugore we urukundo maze bishimisha umugore we.

Nubwo gukunda abagize umuryango wawe byaba bikugora, ushobora kubigeraho rwose. Ijambo ry’Imana riduha ubuyobozi bwiza. (Zaburi 19:8, umurongo wa 7 muri Biblia Yera.) Niwiyumvisha ko ibyo ari ibintu by’ingenzi cyane, ukagerageza kubona imico myiza y’abagize umuryango wawe, ukiga Ijambo ry’Imana kandi ukarishyira mu bikorwa, ukishingikiriza kuri Yehova umusengana umwete kandi ugashakira ubufasha ku basaza b’Abakristo bakuze mu buryo bw’umwuka, ushobora kunesha igisa n’urukuta rukomeye rugutandukanya n’umuryango wawe (1 Petero 5:7). Nawe ushobora kugira ibyishimo nk’ibyo umugabo umwe wo muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe z’Amerika yagize. Yatewe inkunga yo kujya agaragariza umugore we urukundo. Yaje kwishyiramo akanyabugabo maze abwira umugore we ati “ndagukunda.” Yatangajwe n’ukuntu umugore we yabyitabiriye. Yarize amarira y’ibyishimo maze aravuga ati “nanjye ndagukunda, ariko ni ubwa mbere umbwiye iryo jambo mu myaka 25 tumaranye.” Wowe ntugategereze iyo myaka yose kugira ngo ubwire uwo mwashakanye ndetse n’abana bawe ko ubakunda!

[Ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji]

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 28]

Yehova aduha ubufasha binyuriye ku Ijambo rye, Bibiliya