Ibanga ryo gushyikirana neza n’uwo mwashakanye

‘SIMBA nabivuze.’ ‘Sinabimusobanuriye neza.’ Ese hari igihe wumvise umeze utyo nyuma yo kugerageza gushyikirana n’uwo mwashakanye? Gushyikirana ni ubuhanga buri wese agomba kugira. Kimwe n’ibindi bintu byose bisaba ubuhanga, hari abantu bamwe basa n’aho babishobora bitabagoye, mu gihe abandi bo usanga bibagora cyane. Icyakora, nubwo waba uri mu bo bigora, ushobora kwiga kugaragaza ibyo utekereza mu buryo bwiza, ni ukuvuga gushyikirana neza.

Rimwe na rimwe, uburyo abantu bashyikirana n’abo bashakanye buterwa n’umuco w’iwabo. Abagabo bashobora kuba barigishijwe ngo ‘nta mugabo wo kuvuga menshi.’ Hari abantu basuzugura abagabo bakunda kuvuga, bakabona  ko ari indyarya. Ni iby’ukuri ko Bibiliya ivuga iti “umuntu wese yihutire kumva ariko atinde kuvuga” (Yakobo 1:19). Ariko kandi, iyo nama ireba abagabo n’abagore kandi igaragaza ko gushyikirana atari ukuvuga gusa. Abantu babiri bashobora kumara igihe kinini bavugana; ariko se byagenda bite ari nta n’umwe uteze amatwi mugenzi we? Mu by’ukuri, ibyo ntibyaba ari ugushyikirana. Ikintu cy’ingenzi kugira ngo abantu bashyikirane neza nk’uko uwo murongo w’Ibyanditswe wabigaragaje, ni ubuhanga bwo gutega amatwi.

Gushyikirana nta magambo avuzwe

Mu mico imwe n’imwe, abagore ntibaba bemerewe kugaragaza ibitekerezo n’ibyiyumvo byabo. Abagabo bagomba kuba ari abantu bikomeza cyane badafite aho bahuriye n’abagize umuryango. Iyo bimeze bityo rero, umugabo n’umugore ntibamenya icyo uwo bashakanye aba ashaka mu mimerere runaka. Abagore bamwe na bamwe bageraho bakaba abahanga mu gutahura ibyo abagabo babo bakeneye, bakihutira kubikora. Icyo gihe rero, umugabo n’umugore we baba bashyikirana nta cyo bavuze.Ubusanzwe ariko, ubwo buryo bwo gushyikirana bukoreshwa n’umuntu umwe. Nubwo umugore ashobora kuba yitoza kumenya ibitekerezo cyangwa ibyiyumvo by’umugabo we, umugabo we ntaba yitezweho kugira ubwo buhanga no kumenya ibyiyumvo by’umugore we.

Ni iby’ukuri ko mu mico imwe n’imwe abagabo babona ibyo abagore babo bakeneye kandi bakagerageza kugira icyo bakora. No muri bene abo bantu ariko, abenshi mu bashakanye bashobora kubonera inyungu mu kurushaho gushyikirana neza.

Gushyikirana ni ngombwa

Kuganira nta cyo abantu bakinganye bishobora gutuma hatabaho ubwumvikane buke. Kera mu mateka y’Abisirayeli, umuryango wa Rubeni, uwa Gadi n’igice cy’uwa Manase babaga mu burasirazuba bw’Uruzi rwa Yorodani, bubatse ‘igicaniro cy’ikimenyabose’ hafi y’urwo ruzi. Indi miryango yakiriye nabi icyo gikorwa. Abagize imiryango yabaga i burengerazuba batekereje ko abo bavandimwe babo bo hakurya ya Yorodani bari bahindutse abahakanyi, maze bitegura kujya kubarwanya kuko batekerezaga ko bigize ibyigomeke. Ariko mbere yo kubatera, bohereje intumwa zijya kugirana imishyikirano n’imiryango y’iburasirazuba. Mbega ukuntu icyo cyari igikorwa gihuje n’ubwenge! Basanze icyo gicaniro kitari icyo gutambiraho ibitambo n’amaturo bitemewe n’amategeko. Ahubwo iyo miryango y’iburasizuba yatinyaga ko indi miryango yazavuga iti “nta mugabane mufite ku Uwiteka.” Icyo gicaniro cyari kuzaba igihamya kigaragaza ko na bo basengaga Yehova (Yosuwa 22:10-29). Icyo gicaniro bacyise Umuhamya, bitewe n’uko, uko bigaragara, cyari umuhamya ugaragaza ko bemeraga ko Yehova ari Imana y’ukuri.—Yosuwa 22:34.

Ibisobanuro abagize iyo miryango ibiri n’igice batanze byahise bihindura uko iyo miryango yindi yabonaga ibintu, ku buryo yahise ireka kubatera. Koko rero, kubwizanya ukuri byatumye hatabaho intambara. Nyuma yaho, ubwo abari bagize Isirayeli bigomekaga kuri Yehova Imana, umugabo wabo w’ikigereranyo, yababwiye ko yari kubababarira ‘akaburura’ cyangwa akabacururutsa (Hoseya 2:16). Mbega urugero rwiza ku bantu bashakanye! Koko rero, ujye ugerageza kugera uwo mwashakanye ku mutima, bityo amenye ibyiyumvo byawe. Ibyo ni ngombwa cyane cyane iyo abantu barakaranyije. Umunyamakuru wo muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe z’Amerika witwa Pattie Mihalik yaravuze ati “hari abavuga ko kubona amagambo uvuga atari ikintu kigoye, ariko nanone hari aho bigera ukaba utabona n’icyo uyagura. Nubwo kugaragaza ibyiyumvo hari abo bigora, ingaruka bigira zishobora kuba nziza kuruta kugira amafaranga muri banki.”

Komeza kugira ubuhanga bwo gushyikirana

Hari abashobora kuvuga bati ‘ibyacu byazambye tugishyingiranwa.’ Abandi bo bashobora kuvuga bati ‘ishyingiranwa ryacu nta garuriro.’ Bashobora kumva ko ubwo batitoje kugira  ubuhanga bwo gushyikirana mbere y’uko bashyingiranwa byarangiye. Icyakora, mutekereze ku bantu bagira umuco wo kurambagirizwa na bene wabo! Abenshi mu baba ahantu nk’aho, amaherezo biga gushyikirana neza babana.

Hari umugabo n’umugore we bo mu gihugu cyo muri Aziya barambagirijwe n’abandi. Umuranga yasabwe gukora urugendo rurerure cyane agiye gushakira umuhungu umugeni. Icyakora, uwo mugabo n’umugore we babayeho imyaka hafi 4.000 ishize, bagaragaje ubuhanga budasanzwe bwo gushyikirana. Uwo mugabo ari we Isaka yahuriye n’umuranga hamwe n’uwari kuzaba umugore we ku gasozi. Uwo muranga ‘yatekerereje Isaka ibyo yakoze byose.’ Inkuru yo muri Bibiliya ivuga iby’iryo shyingiranwa ikomeza igira iti “Isaka azana Rebeka mu ihema rya nyina Sara [byagaragaza ko bashyingiranywe mu buryo bwemewe n’amategeko], aramurongora, aba umugore we, aramukundwakaza.”—Itangiriro 24:62-67.

Uzirikane ko Isaka yabanje kumva ibyo umuranga yari yakoze akabona kurongora Rebeka. Uwo muranga yari umugaragu wiringirwa wari wariyeguriye Yehova Imana ya Isaka. Isaka yari afite impamvu zo kwiringira uwo mugabo. Nyuma yaho, Isaka ‘yakundwakaje’ Rebeka, uwo yari amaze kurongora.

Ese Isaka na Rebeka baba baritoje kugira ubuhanga bwo gushyikirana neza? Esawu amaze kurongora abakobwa babiri b’Abahetikazi, mu muryango wa Isaka havutse ikibazo gikomeye. Rebeka ‘yabwiye’ Isaka ati “ubugingo bwanjye burambiwe ba Bahetikazi. Yakobo [umuhungu wabo muto] yarongora Umuhetikazi . . . , ubugingo bwanjye bwamarira iki?” (Itangiriro 26:34; 27:46). Uko bigaragara, Rebeka yasobanuye neza ibyari bimuhangayikishije.

Isaka yabujije Yakobo wari impanga ya Esawu kurongora umukobwa wo mu Banyakanaani (Itangiriro 28:1, 2). Rebeka yari yumvikanishije igitekerezo cye. Uwo mugabo n’umugore we babashije kuganira neza ku kibazo cyari gikomereye uwo muryango, bityo badusigira urugero rwiza muri iki gihe. Bite se mu gihe abashakanye bananiwe kumvikana? Icyo gihe hakorwa iki?

Mu gihe abashakanye bafite icyo batumvikanaho

Niba wowe n’uwo mwashakanye mufite ikintu gikomeye mutumvikanaho, ntugaceceke. Ibyo byaba ari nko kuvuga ko utishimye kandi ko udashaka ko uwo mwashakanye na we yishima. Icyakora, uwo mwashakanye ashobora kuba atumva neza icyo wifuza cyangwa adasobanukiwe ibyiyumvo ufite.

Wowe n’uwo mwashakanye mwagombye kuganira ku bibazo mufite. Niba icyo kibazo gishobora kubabaza uwo mwashakanye, gutuza bishobora kukugora. Hari igihe ababyeyi ba Isaka ari bo Aburahamu na Sara bahuye n’ikibazo gikomeye. Kubera ko Sara yari ingumba, yashyingiye umugabo we umuja we witwaga Hagari, kugira ngo abe inshoreke ye amubyarire umwana nk’uko icyo gihe byagendaga mu muco w’iwabo. Hagari yabyariye Aburahamu umwana w’umuhungu, ari we Ishimayeli. Icyakora, Sara na we yaje gutwita abyarira Aburahamu umuhungu, ari we Isaka. Igihe Isaka yari ageze igihe cyo gucuka, Sara yabonye Ishimayeli annyega umuhungu we. Bityo rero, Sara abonye ko umuhungu we ari mu kaga, yasabye Aburahamu kwirukana uwo muja na Ishimayeli. Aho rero Sara yavuze icyo yatekerezaga adaciye ku ruhande. Icyakora, ibyo yifuzaga byababaje Aburahamu.

Icyo kibazo cyaje gukemuka gite? Inkuru yo muri Bibiliya igira iti “Imana ibwira Aburahamu iti ‘we kugirira uwo muhungu agahinda n’umuja wawe, ibyo Sara akubwira byose umwumvire, kuko kuri Isaka ari ho urubyaro ruzakwitirirwa.’” Aburahamu yumviye amabwiriza Yehova Imana yamuhaye, akora ibyo yamubwiye.—Itangiriro 16:1-4; 21:1-14.

Ushobora kuvuga uti ‘iyaba natwe Imana yajyaga ituvugisha iri mu ijuru twajya twumvikana bitatugoye!’ Ibyo rero biratugeza ku rindi banga ryo gukemura impaka zivuka hagati y’abashakanye. Abashakanye bashobora gutegera amatwi Imana. Mu buhe buryo? Binyuze mu  gusomera hamwe Ijambo ry’Imana no kwemera ko ibyo rivuga ari ubuyobozi ibaha.—1 Abatesalonike 2:13.

Umukristokazi w’inararibonye yaravuze ati “akenshi iyo umugore ukiri muto aje kunsaba inama ku bibazo by’umuryango, mubaza niba we n’umugabo we basomera hamwe Bibiliya. Abenshi mu bafite ibibazo mu muryango ntibaba bafite ako kamenyero” (Tito 2:3-5). Twese dushobora kungukirwa n’ibyo yavuze. Jya buri gihe usomera hamwe n’uwo mwashakanye Ijambo ry’Imana. Muri ubwo buryo, ‘muzumva’ Imana ibabwira uko mukwiriye kwitwara umunsi ku wundi (Yesaya 30:21). Ariko rero, mukwiriye kuzirikana iki: ntugakoreshe Bibiliya nk’inkoni yo gukubitisha uwo mwashakanye, ukomeza kugaruka ku mirongo y’Ibyanditswe ubona ko atuzuza. Ahubwo, mujye mugerageza kureba uko mwembi mwashyira mu bikorwa ibyo musoma.

Niba mushaka gukemura ikibazo gikomeye, kuki mutakwifashisha igitabo cyitwa Index des publications de la Société Watch Tower *? Mushobora kuba mwita ku babyeyi bageze mu za bukuru bikaba biteza ingorane mu muryango wanyu. Aho kujya impaka z’ibyo uwo mwashakanye yagombye cyangwa se atagombye gukora, kuki mutakwicara ngo musuzumire hamwe Index? Banza urebe umutwe mukuru uvuga ngo “Parents (Ababyeyi).” Ushobora kureba ku dutwe duto, urugero nk’akavuga ngo “Prendre soin des parents âgés (Kwita ku babyeyi bageze mu za bukuru).” Musomere hamwe ingingo zo mu bitabo by’Abahamya ba Yehova zivuga kuri icyo kibazo. Ushobora gutangazwa n’ukuntu wowe n’uwo mwashakanye mushobora kungukirwa n’ibitekerezo bishingiye kuri Bibiliya byafashije Abakristo benshi bafite imitima itaryarya.

Gushaka izo ngingo no kuzisomera hamwe bizabafasha kumva neza ikibazo mufite. Muzabona imirongo y’Ibyanditswe yandukuwe uko yakabaye cyangwa yavuzwe gusa, izabereka uko Imana ibona icyo kibazo. Muyishake muri Bibiliya, maze muyisomere hamwe. Ni koko, muzumva icyo Imana ivuga ku birebana n’ikibazo mufite.

Mukomeze mushyikirane

Waba warigeze ugerageza gufungura urugi rumaze igihe rudafungurwa? Amapata yaguye ingese yarabanje arakaka, hanyuma ruza gufunguka. Byari kugenda bite se iyo urwo rugi ruza kuba rwari rusanzwe rufungurwa kandi amapata yarwo arimo amavuta? Kurufungura byari kukorohera cyane. Ibyo ni na ko bimeze ku birebana no gushyikirana. Iyo witoje gushyikirana kandi ukagira urukundo rwa gikristo twagereranya n’amavuta umuntu ashyira mu mapata y’urugi, kuvuga ibyo utekereza birushaho kukorohera, ndetse n’igihe mufite ibintu bikomeye mutumvikanaho.

Ntucike intege. Nubwo mu mizo ya mbere gushyikirana bishobora gusaba imihati myinshi, gerageza. Amaherezo uzagera ubwo ushyikirana neza n’uwo mwashakanye, kandi bizatuma muhorana ubwumvikane.

[Ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji]

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 7]

Mbese igihe uzaba ufite icyo utumvikanaho n’uwo mwashakanye, uzashaka ubuyobozi buturuka ku Mana?