Uko umugore yasohoza neza inshingano ye ya kibyeyi

MURI iki gihe, abagore benshi bo hirya no hino ku isi bafite akazi. Mu bihugu bikize, usanga umubare w’abagore n’uw’abagabo bafite akazi bahemberwa ujya kungana. Mu bihugu bikiri mu nzira y’amajyambere, akenshi abagore bamara igihe kirekire bakora imirimo ijyanye n’ubuhinzi, kugira ngo bagire uruhare mu kwita ku miryango yabo.

Abagore benshi babuze icyo bahitamo hagati yo gushaka akazi kabahesha umushahara no gusohoza inshingano yabo yo kwita ku ngo zabo. Abo bagore batanga amafaranga yo guhaha, kugura imyenda no kwishyura inzu, kandi bakaba ari na bo bateka, bagafura ndetse bagakora isuku mu nzu.

Nanone kandi, ababyeyi b’Abakristokazi bihatira gucengeza amahame y’Imana mu bana babo. Uwitwa Cristina, akaba ari nyina w’abana b’abakobwa babiri, yagize ati “mvugishije ukuri, gushyira mu gaciro hagati y’akazi n’inshingano z’umuryango, ntibyoroshye. Iyo ufite abana bato bwo, biba ari ibindi bindi. Kwita ku bana mu buryo bukwiriye, ntibiba byoroshye.”

Kuki abagore bashaka akazi? Ni izihe ngorane bahanganye na zo? Kandi se, ni ngombwa ko umubyeyi w’umugore agira akazi kugira ngo asohoze neza inshingano ze za kibyeyi?

Impamvu ababyeyi b’abagore bashaka akazi

Abenshi mu babyeyi b’abagore bumva ko kugira akazi bakora buri gihe ari ngombwa cyane. Bamwe ntibagira abo bashakanye babunganira mu kubona amafaranga akenewe mu muryango. Hari abagabo n’abagore babona ko umushahara w’umwe muri bo udahagije, kugira ngo bafashe abagize umuryango kubona iby’ibanze bakenera.

Mu by’ukuri, abagore bose bashaka akazi si ko baba bakeneye amafaranga. Abagore benshi bashaka akazi kugira ngo barusheho kumva ko bafite agaciro. Bamwe bashobora gukora kugira ngo babone amafaranga bigengaho cyangwa bagure ibintu by’iraha. Abenshi usanga bakora akazi kabo neza kandi bakakishimira.

Amoshya y’urungano na yo ashobora gutuma abagore bumva bahatiwe gushaka akazi. Abantu benshi bazi ko abagore bafite akazi bahora bahanganye n’ikibazo cy’imihangayiko no kugwa agacuho. Nubwo bimeze bityo ariko, abafata imyanzuro yo kukareka, incuro nyinshi abandi bantu ntibabumva; ndetse barabakoba. Hari umubyeyi w’umugore wagize ati “gusobanurira abandi ko uri ‘umugore wo mu rugo gusa,’ ntibyoroshye. Hari bamwe bakumvisha ko urimo upfusha ubusa  ubuzima bwawe bakoresheje amagambo cyangwa bikagaragarira mu maso habo, bashaka kukumvisha ko urimo upfusha ubusa ubuzima bwawe.” Umugore witwa Rebeca, akaba ari nyina w’umukobwa w’imyaka ibiri, yagize ati “nubwo abantu badukikije bazi ko abagore bagombye kwita ku bana babo, usanga nanone bumva ko abagore badafite akazi basuzuguritse mu buryo runaka.”

Ni inzozi si ukuri

Mu duce tumwe na tumwe two hirya no hino ku isi, itangazamakuru rigaragaza ko “umugore nyawe” ari wa wundi wagize icyo ageraho mu kazi akora; ni ukuvuga uhembwa umushahara utubutse, wambara imyenda y’akataraboneka kandi wihagazeho rwose. Iyo ageze mu rugo, aba afite ubushobozi bwo gukemura ibibazo abana bafite, gukosora amakosa yakozwe n’umugabo no gukemura ibibazo byose byavuka mu rugo. Birumvikana ko abagore bameze batyo ari bake.

Mu by’ukuri, abagore benshi bafite akazi kadafashije kandi ni bo bahembwa make ugereranyije. Abagore bafite akazi, bashobora kubabazwa n’uko akazi bakora kadatuma bagaragaza ubushobozi bwabo mu buryo bwuzuye. Hari igitabo cyagize kiti “nubwo uburinganire bugenda bugerwaho, abagabo baracyahabwa imyanya yo mu rwego rwo hejuru kandi ituma bahembwa umushahara uruta uw’abagore. Ku bw’ibyo, abagore bumva ko bazarushaho kugira agaciro bitewe n’akazi bakora, bafite ingorane yihariye.” (Social Psychology). Hari ikinyamakuru cyo muri Esipanye cyagize kiti “raporo yakozwe yagaragaje ko umubare w’abagore bashobora guhangayika bitewe n’akazi wikubye incuro eshatu uw’abagabo, kubera ko abenshi muri bo baba bafite akazi k’uburyo bubiri bagomba gukora; ni ukuvuga ako bahemberwa hamwe n’ako mu rugo.”—El País.

Uko abagabo bashobora kubafasha

Birumvikana ko umubyeyi w’Umukristokazi ari we ugomba kwifatira umwanzuro ku birebana no gushaka akazi cyangwa kutagashaka. Icyakora niba afite umugabo, we n’uwo bashakanye bagombye gufata uwo mwanzuro nyuma yo kuganira kuri icyo kibazo no gusuzuma bitonze ibintu byose bigaragaza ko gushaka akazi bikwiriye cyangwa ko bidakwiriye.—Imigani 14:15.

Byagenda bite se mu gihe umugabo n’umugore babonye ko ari ngombwa ko bombi bashaka akazi bagomba gukora buri gihe, kugira ngo babone amafaranga bakeneye? Icyo gihe, umugabo urangwa n’ubwenge azitondera by’umwihariko umuburo wo muri Bibiliya ugira uti “bagabo, mugomba kugaragaza ko mwumva abagore banyu mu ishyingiranwa ryanyu: mubagaragarize icyubahiro, bidatewe gusa n’uko mubarusha imbaraga, ahubwo nanone bitewe n’uko impano y’ubuzima muzayiraganwa na bo” (1 Petero 3:7; The Revised English Bible). Umugabo agaragariza umugore we icyubahiro binyuriye mu kumva ko ubushobozi bw’umugore we bufite aho bugarukira mu buryo bw’umubiri no mu byiyumvo. Igihe cyose bishoboka, azafasha umugore we mu turimo two mu rugo. Kimwe na Yesu, umugabo azaba yiteguye gukora imirimo yo mu rugo yicishije bugufi, ntiyange kuyikora bitewe no kumva ko imukoza isoni (Yohana 13:12-15). Ahubwo, nakora iyo mirimo azaba abonye uburyo bwo kugaragariza umugore we w’umunyamwete ko amukunda. Uwo mugore azishimira cyane ubwo bufasha bw’umugabo we.—Abefeso 5:25, 28, 29.

Niba abashakanye bombi bafite akazi, birumvikana ko ari iby’ingenzi ko bafashanya imirimo yo mu rugo. Ibyo byagaragajwe na raporo yasohotse mu ngingo yo mu kinyamakuru cyo muri Esipanye. Iyo ngingo yagize icyo ivuga ku birebana n’iperereza ryakozwe n’Ikigo cy’Ubushakashatsi ku Bibazo by’Ingo. Yanenze ko muri Esipanye, abashakanye batana cyane. Yagaragaje ko ibyo bidaterwa gusa n’uko “amahame y’idini n’amahame mbwirizamuco atacyubahirizwa,” ahubwo ko hari izindi mpamvu ebyiri zibitera: “kuba abagore bafite akazi no kuba abagabo batabafasha mu mirimo yo mu rugo.”—ABC.

Uruhare rw’ingenzi rw’umubyeyi w’Umukristokazi

Nubwo abagabo ari bo Yehova yahaye inshingano y’ingenzi yo gutoza abana babo, ababyeyi b’Abakristokazi na bo bazi ko babifitemo uruhare rw’ingenzi, cyane cyane igihe umwana akiri muto (Imigani 1:8; Abefeso 6:4). Igihe Yehova yahaga Abisirayeli amabwiriza yo gucengeza Amategeko  mu bana babo, yabwiraga abagabo n’abagore. Yari azi ko kubatoza byari kuzajya bisaba igihe no kwihangana, by’umwihariko mu bwana bwabo. Ni yo mpamvu Imana yabwiye ababyeyi ko bagombaga kuzajya batoza abana babo igihe bari mu rugo, mu nzira, babyutse ndetse n’igihe baryamye.—Gutegeka kwa Kabiri 6:4-7.

Ijambo ry’Imana ritsindagiriza uruhare rw’ingenzi kandi rwiyubashye abagore bafite. Riha abana itegeko rigira riti ‘we kureka icyo nyoko yakwigishije’ cyangwa amategeko ye (Imigani 6:20). Birumvikana ko mu gihe umugore afite umugabo, mbere y’uko ashyiraho amategeko ayo ari yo yose abana bagomba gukurikiza, agomba kubanza kubiganiraho n’umugabo we. Ariko kandi, nk’uko uwo murongo ubigaragaza, abagore bafite uburenganzira bwo gushyiraho amategeko. Kandi abana bazirikana amategeko yo mu Ijambo ry’Imana n’amategeko arebana n’umuco bigishwa na ba nyina batinya Imana, bibahesha inyungu nyinshi (Imigani 6:21, 22). Uwitwa Teresa, akaba ari nyina w’abana babiri b’abahungu, yasobanuye impamvu atashatse akazi. Yagize ati “mbona ko umurimo wanjye w’ingenzi kurusha iyindi, ari ukurera abana banjye bakazakorera Imana. Nifuza gukora ako kazi uko bishoboka kose.”

Abagore bashohoje inshingano yabo neza

Nta gushidikanya ko Umwami Lemuweli wa Isirayeli yungukiwe n’imihati ivuye ku mutima nyina yashyizeho amurera. “Amagambo” afite uburemere nyina “yamwigishije,” agamije kumukosora yashyizwe mu Ijambo ry’Imana ryahumetswe (Imigani 31:1; 2 Timoteyo 3:16). Amagambo nyina yamubwiye agaragaza ibyo umugore nyawe agomba kuba yujuje, aracyafasha abasore gufata imyanzuro ikwiriye mu gihe bahitamo abo bazashyingiranwa. Imiburo yatanze ku birebana no kwirinda ubwiyandarike n’inzoga nyinshi, muri iki gihe iracyafite akamaro nk’ako yari ifite igihe yandikwaga.—Imigani 31:3-5, 10-31.

Mu kinyejana cya mbere, intumwa Pawulo yashimagije umurimo mwiza cyane umugore witwa Unike yakoze igihe yigishaga umuhungu we Timoteyo. Kubera ko umugabo we utarasengaga Yehova ashobora kuba yarasengaga imana zo mu Bugiriki, kugira ngo Timoteyo yizere “ibyanditswe byera,” Unike yagombaga kumwemeza. Ni ryari Unike yatangiye kwigisha Timoteyo Ibyanditswe? Inkuru yahumetswe ivuga ko ari ‘uguhera mu bwana.’ Mu yandi magambo, yahereye igihe Timoteyo yari uruhinja (2 Timoteyo 1:5; 3:14, 15). Biragaragara ko ukwizera kwa Unike, urugero yahaye Timoteyo n’ibyo yamwigishije, byateguriye Timoteyo kuzasohoza neza umurimo w’ubumisiyonari nyuma yaho.—Abafilipi 2:19-22.

Bibiliya ivuga nanone ibirebana n’abagore bakiriye neza abashyitsi bari abagaragu b’Imana bizerwa, bigatuma abana babo bigana ingero nziza cyane z’abo bantu. Urugero, umugore w’Umushunemukazi yahoraga yakira umuhanuzi Elisa iwe mu rugo. Nyuma yaho, igihe umuhungu w’uwo mugore yapfaga, Elisa yaramuzuye (2 Abami 4:8-10, 32-37). Zirikana nanone urugero rwa Mariya, nyina w’umwe mu banditsi ba Bibiliya witwa Mariko. Uko bigaragara, Mariya wari utuye i Yerusalemu yajyaga aha abigishwa bo mu kinyejana cya mbere inzu ye, bakayiteraniramo (Ibyakozwe 12:12). Nta gushidikanya, imishyikirano Mariko yagiranaga n’intumwa hamwe n’abandi Bakristo bakundaga kuza iwabo, yamugiriye akamaro.

Biragaragara neza ko Yehova aha agaciro gakomeye imihati abagore bizerwa bashyiraho, kugira ngo bacengeze amahame ye mu bana babo. Ubudahemuka bw’abo bagore n’imihati bashyiraho kugira ngo mu ngo zabo harangwe umwuka wo kubaha Imana, bituma Yehova abakunda.—2 Samweli 22:26; Imigani 14:1.

Amahitamo yatuma usohoza neza inshingano yawe

Nk’uko ingero zibanza zo mu Byanditswe zibigaragaza, kwita ku muryango mu buryo bw’umubiri, mu bihereranye no gusenga no mu buryo bw’ibyiyumvo, bihesha ingororano zihariye. Ariko uwo murimo ntiworoshye. Incuro nyinshi, akazi ko mu rugo umugore akora, gasa naho gasaba imbaraga kuruta umwanya uwo ari wo wose ukomeye mu isosiyete runaka.

Mu by’ukuri, niba umugore asabye umugabo we ubuyobozi hanyuma agafata umwanzuro wo kugabanya amasaha y’akazi yakoraga, umuryango uba ugomba kubaho mu buryo buciriritse. Uwo mugore kandi aba agomba kwihanganira abantu bamukoba bitewe n’uko batumva impamvu  yafashe iyo myanzuro. Ariko imigisha azabona izaba myinshi kuruta ibyo yigomwe. Umubyeyi w’umugore witwa Paqui afite abana batatu kandi akora akazi k’igihe gito. Yagize ati “iyo abana bavuye ku ishuri, nkunda kuba ndi mu rugo kugira ngo babone uwo baganiriza.” Ibyo bimarira iki abana be? Yagize ati “mbafasha gukora imikoro yabo, kandi iyo bahuye n’ibibazo nshobora guhita mbikemura. Igihe tumarana buri munsi kidufasha gukomeza gushyikirana tutishishanya. Icyo gihe marana n’abana banjye ngiha agaciro gakomeye, ku buryo nanze akazi nari kuzajya nkora buri gihe.”

Ababyeyi benshi b’Abakristokazi babonye ko iyo bashoboye kugabanya igihe bakoresha ku kazi, abagize umuryango bose bibagirira akamaro. Cristina wavuzwe haruguru agira ati “nahagaritse akazi, ibibazo byo mu muryango bisa naho bitangiye kugabanuka. Nabonaga igihe cyo kuganira n’abana banjye no gufasha umugabo wanjye mu bintu bitandukanye. Kwigisha abakobwa banjye byatangiye kujya binshimisha, nkabona ibyo mbigisha babyumva kandi bagatera imbere.” Hari ikintu kitari cyiza cyabayeho Cristina atazibagirwa. Yagize ati “umwana wanjye w’imfura ajya kwiga kugenda, yabyigiye mu kigo kirera abana. Ariko uw’ubuheta, we natangiye kumwigisha kugenda ari mu rugo. Yatangiye gutera udutambwe twa mbere ataguza, yajya kugwa nkamuramira. Ibyo bihe byaranshimishije cyane.”

Ikindi tugomba kuzirikana, ni uko iyo umubyeyi w’umugore yigomwe akagabanya igihe yamaraga mu kazi kamuhesha amafaranga, bishobora gutuma amafaranga yakoreshwaga aba make kuruta uko byari byitezwe. Cristina agira ati “mu by’ukuri, kwita ku mwana no kumufasha mu ngendo, byatwaraga igice kinini cy’umushahara wanjye. Igihe twasuzumaga twitonze imimerere twarimo, twaje kubona ko ako kazi nakoraga katinjizaga ayo mafaranga menshi yabaga akenewe mu rugo.”

Iyo bamwe mu bagabo n’abagore babo bamaze gusuzuma imimerere barimo, bafata imyanzuro y’uko inyungu babona bitewe n’uko umubyeyi w’umugore yita ku muryango igihe cyose, ziruta amafaranga ayo ari yo yose baba barigomwe. Umugabo wa Cristina witwa Paul, agira ati “kuba umugore wanjye ashobora gusigara mu rugo akita ku bana bacu babiri bakiri bato, biranshimisha cyane. Igihe umugore wanjye yari agifite akazi, twembi twabaga duhangayitse cyane.” Uwo mwanzuro wamariye iki abakobwa babo babiri? Paul yagize ati “bumvise barushijeho kugira umutekano kandi bikinze abantu bashoboraga kubatoza ingeso mbi igihe bari bakiri bato.” Kuki uwo mugabo n’uwo mugore bumva ko ari iby’ingenzi kumarana igihe kirekire uko bishoboka kose n’abakobwa babo? Paul yashubije agira ati “ndemeza ko twebwe ababyeyi nituramuka tutagize icyo twandika mu mitima y’abana bacu mu buryo bw’ikigereranyo, undi muntu azabikora.”

Biragaragara ko buri mugabo n’umugore we ari bo ubwabo bagomba gusuzuma imimerere barimo. Kandi nta muntu wagombye kunenga imyanzuro abandi bashobora gufata (Abaroma 14:4; 1 Abatesalonike 4:11). Icyakora, gusuzuma inyungu nyinshi abagize umuryango bashobora kubona mu gihe umubyeyi w’umugore adakora buri gihe, ni iby’ingenzi. Teresa wavuzwe mbere, yagize icyo avuga kuri iyo ngingo, yanzura agira ati “nta kintu gishobora gutuma usohoza inshingano yawe kurusha kumarana igihe kirekire uko bishoboka kose n’abana bawe ubitaho kandi ubigisha.”—Zaburi 127:3.

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 31]

Ababyeyi b’Abakristokazi bifatanya mu murimo w’ingenzi wo gutoza abana babo