1, 2. (a) Kodi mamuna na nkazi adamala kwene kumanga banja asadikhiranji? (b) Ndi mibvundzo ipi inafuna kutawirwa mu nsolo uno?

NYEREZERANI mamuna na nkazi pa ntsiku yawo yakumanga banja. Iwo ali akutsandzaya thangwi ya umaso unafuna kukhala na iwo, pontho ali na pinthu pizinji pinanyerezera iwo kucita ntsogolo. Iwo asadikhira kuti banja yawo inapitiriza, mbikhala yakutsandzaya.

² Mbwenye mabanja mazinji akuti asatoma mwadidi, iwo nee asamalisira mwadidi. Toera banja ipitirize kukhala yakutsandzaya, mamuna na nkazi asafunika kuphatisira pitsogolero pya Mulungu. Natenepa, tendeni tione kuti Bhibhlya isatawira tani mibvundzo iyi: Ndi nkhombo zipi zinakhala na ale adamanga banja? Khala musafuna kumanga banja, munasankhula tani mwadidi munthu anafuna imwe kumanga naye banja? Munakwanisa tani kukhala mamuna wadidi peno nkazi wadidi? Pontho ninji cinafuna kuphedza banja toera ikhale yakuwanga?—Lerini Misangani 3:5, 6.

3. Kodi munthu asakhala wakutsandzaya basi ene angamanga banja? Fokotozani.

³ Anango asanyerezera kuti toera munthu akhale wakutsandzaya asafunika kumanga banja. Mbwenye manyerezero anewa nee ndi andimomwene. Yezu alonga kuti kukhala nee kumanga banja ndi muoni. (Mateu 19:11, 12) Mpostolo Paulu alonga kuti kukhala nee kumanga banja midzidzi inango  kusaphedza. (1 Akorinto 7:32-38) Lekani kutawirisa kuti axamwali anu, acibale anu, peno makhaliro a pa cisa canu akukakamizeni toera kumanga banja. Cisankhulo cakumanga banja ndi canu.

4. Ndi nkhombo zipi zinaoneka pabanja yadidi?

⁴ Bhibhlya isalongambo kuti kumanga banja ndi muoni wa Mulungu, pontho kusaphedza. Yahova alonga thangwi ya Adhamu: ‘Si pyadidi tayu kuti mamuna apitirize kukhala ekhene. Ndinancitira nyakuphedza toera akhale ndzace wakuthema kuna iye.’ (Genesi 2:18) Yahova acita Eva toera akhale nkazi wa Adhamu, pontho iwo adzakhala banja yakutoma. Mamuna na nkazi angakhala na ana, banja inakwanisa kukhala mbuto yakuthema toera kukuza mwadidi anawo. Mbwenye cifuniro ca banja nee ndi cakukhala na ana basi.—Masalmo 127:3; Aefesi 6:1-4.

5, 6. Banja inakwanisa tani kukhala ninga “nkhambala zitatu zakulukwa pabodzi pene”?

⁵ Mambo Salomoni alemba: ‘Mphyadidi kukhala anthu awiri, kupita kukhala munthu ekhene, thangwi anthu awiri asakhala na maphindu thangwi ya basa yawo yakuwanga. M’bodzi angagwa, ndzace anamulamusa. Mphapo ninji pinafuna kucitika kuna ule wakuti angagwa nkhabe ndzace toera kumulamusa? Nkhambala zitatu zakulukwa pabodzi pene zisanentsa kuthumuka.’—Koelete 4:9-12.

⁶ Banja yadidi ndi kuphatana kwa anthu awiri akuti ndi axamwali a ponda ndipondembo, pontho asaphedzana, asabalangazana, mbatsidzikizana unango na ndzace. Ufuni usacitisa banja kukhala yakuwanga, mbwenye banja inakhala yakuwanga kakamwe khala mamuna na nkazi asalambira Yahova. Natenepa banja yawo inakhala ninga “nkhambala zitatu zakulukwa pabodzi pene.” Nkhambala zitatu zingalukwa pabodzi pene zisakhala zakuwanga kakamwe kupiringana nkhambala ziwiri zakulukwa pabodzi pene.  Banja isakhala yakuwanga mamuna na nkazi angaphataniza Yahova m’banja yawo.

7, 8. Ndi uphungu upi udapereka Paulu thangwi ya kumanga banja?

⁷ Pakumala kumanga banja, mamuna na nkazi anakwanisa kupita m’mabonde toera kukwanirisa pifuno pya unango na ndzace. (Misangani 5:18) Mbwenye munthu angamanga banja basi ene toera kupita m’mabonde, panango nee anasankhula munthu wakuthema. Thangwi yace Bhibhlya isalonga kuti munthu asafunika kumanga banja “khala iye apiringana thunga ya uwana,” peno pakupita kwa ndzidzi wakuti pifuno pyakupita m’mabonde pisakhala pyakuwanga kakamwe. (1 Akorinto 7:36) Toera kumanga banja, mphyadidi kudikhira mpaka pifuno pyenepi pithowe. Buluka penepo, munthu anafuna kumanga banja anakwanisa kunyerezera, mbasankhula mwadidi munthu anafuna iye kumanga naye banja.—1 Akorinto 7:9; Tiyago 1:15.

⁸ Khala imwe mukunyerezera kumanga banja, mphyadidi kudziwa kuti mabanja onsene asathimbana na pinentso. Paulu alonga kuti ale anamanga banja “anadzaona nyatwa mu umaso wawo.” (1 Akorinto 7:28) Ngakhale mabanja akuti mamuna na nkazi asabverana mwadidi, midzidzi inango asathimbanambo na pinentso. Natenepa, khala musafuna kumanga banja, sankhulani mwadidi munthu anafuna kukhala nkazanu peno mamunanu.

9, 10. Ninji pinafuna kucitika kuna ife tingamanga banja na munthu wakuti nkhabe kulambira Yahova?

⁹ Mbamudzati kusankhula munthu toera kumanga naye banja, mphyadidi kunyerezera mafala awa anagumanika m’Bhibhlya: “Lekani kumangirirwa pa goli ibodzi ene na anyakukhonda kukhulupira.” (2 Akorinto 6:14) Goli ndi phindi ya muti unamangirirwa n’khosi mwa pinyama piwiri  toera piphate basa pabodzi m’munda. Khala pinyama pyenepi piri na mphambvu peno thunga yakusiyana, ipyo nee mbapidamangirwa pa goli ibodzi ene toera piphate basa m’munda. Nkhabepo cinyama cinafuna kuphedzeka, thangwi piwiri pyene pinathabuka. Munjira ibodzi ene, munthu analambira Yahova angamanga banja na munthu wakuti nkhabe kulambira Yahova anathimbana na nyatwa zizinji. Na thangwi ineyi, Bhibhlya isaticenjeza toera kumanga banja “basi ene mwa Mbuya.”—1 Akorinto 7:39.

¹⁰ Akristu anango asaona kuti mphyadidi kumanga banja na munthu wakuti nee asalambira Yahova, m’mbuto mwakukhala okhene. Mbwenye tingapwaza uphungu wa m’Bhibhlya, tinathabuka, pontho tinatsukwala. Ninga alambiri a Yahova, tisaona kuti kuntumikira ndi cinthu cakufunika kakamwe mu umaso wathu. Kodi imwe mbamudapibva tani khala mamunanu peno nkazanu nee asatumikira Yahova pabodzi na imwe? Anthu azinji asankhula kukhonda kumanga banja, m’mbuto mwakumanga banja na munthu wakuti nkhabe funa Yahova nee kuntumikira.—Lerini Masalmo 32:8.

11. Munasankhula tani mwadidi munthu toera kumanga naye banja?

¹¹ Pyenepi nee pisabveka kuti munthu onsene analambira Yahova anakhala mamuna wadidi peno nkazi wadidi kuna imwe. Khala musanyerezera kumanga banja, sakani munthu wakuti munadzanfuna, pontho munadzabverana naye. Sakani mpaka kugumana munthu wakuti ali na pifuno pibodzi pyene na pyanu, pontho asaona kuti kutumikira Mulungu ndi kwakufunika kakamwe kwa iye. Khalani na ndzidzi toera kuleri na kunyerezera mwadidi uphungu wakuti usaphedza mabanja unagumanika m’mabukhu anabuluswa na m’bandazi wakukhulupirika.—Lerini Masalmo 119:105.

12. Anyakubala anapfundzanji kubulukira mu citsandzo ca Abhrahamu?

 ¹² Madziko anango, mphyakudzolowereka anyakubala kusankhulira anawo munthu toera kumanga naye banja. Anyakubala anewa asaona kuti basi ene ndiwo anadziwa munthu wakuthema toera kumanga banja na mwanawo. Pyenepi pikhacitika m’midzidzi yakale. Khala anyakubala asankhula njira ineyi, Bhibhlya inaaphedza toera kudziwa makhaliro akufunika a munthu anafuna kumanga banja na mwanawo. Mwacitsandzo, Izaki asakirwa nkazi na babace Abhrahamu. Natenepa, cifuno ca Abhrahamu nee cikhali toera kugumana nkazi wa mpfuma peno wakubvekera,  mbwenye nkazi wakuti asafuna Yahova.—Genesi 24:3, 67; onani Cidzindikiro Cakumalisa 25.

13-15. (a) Khala mamuna asafuna kumanga banja, asafunika kunyerezera mabasa api? (b) Khala nkazi asafuna kumanga banja, asafunika kunyerezera mabasa api?

¹³ Khala musanyerezera kumanga banja, khalani na cinyindiro cakuti muli wakukhunganyika. Panango musaona kuti mwakhunganyika, mbwenye tendeni tione kuti kukhunganyika toera kumanga banja kusabvekanji. Panango munadzaona pinthu pyakuti nee mukhapidikhira.

¹⁴ Bhibhlya isapangiza kuti mamuna na nkazi ali na mabasa akusiyana pabanja. Pyenepi pisapangiza kuti kukhunganyika ndi kwakusiyana pakati pa nkazi na mamuna. Khala mamuna akunyerezera kumanga banja, asafunika kubvundzika khala ali dzololo toera kukhala nsolo wa banja. Yahova asadikhira kuti mamuna atsalakane nkazace na anace mu pinthu pyauzimu na pyakumanungo. Cinthu cakufunika kakamwe ndi cakuti mamuna asafunika kutsogolera banjace toera kulambira Mulungu. Bhibhlya isalonga kuti mamuna anakhonda kutsalakana banjace “ndi wakuipa kakamwe kupiringana munthu wakusowa cikhulupiro.” (1 Timoti 5:8) Khala mamuna asanyerezera kumanga banja asafunika kudziwa kuti anaphatisira tani mafala awa a m’Bhibhlya: ‘Cita malonda ako kunja kwa nzinda, sasanyira pyonsene m’munda mwako, pakumalisa sasanya nyumba yako.’ Munjira inango, mbamudzati kumanga banja, musafunika kukhala na cinyindiro cakuti munakwanisa kutsalakana nkazanu ninga munafunira Yahova.—Misangani 24:27.

¹⁵ Khala nkazi akunyerezera kumanga banja asafunika kudziwa khala anakwanisa mabasa ace ninga nkazi peno  mama. Bhibhlya isalonga mabasa mazinji akuti nkazi wadidi asaacita toera kutsalakana mamunace peno anace. (Misangani 31:10-31) Lero, amuna na akazi azinji asadikhira basi ene kucitirwa pinthu na ndzawo wa m’banja. Mbwenye Yahova asafuna kuti tinyerezere pinthu pinafuna ife kucitira ndzathu wa m’banja.

16, 17. Khala musanyerezera kumanga banja, musafunika kudziwanji?

¹⁶ Mbamudzati kumanga banja musafunika kunyerezera mwadidi pinafuna Yahova thangwi ya amuna na akazi. Kukhala nsolo wa banja, nee pisabveka kuti mamuna asafunika kuthabusa banjace. Mamuna wakuti ndi nsolo wadidi wa banja asatowezera Yezu, wakuti ndzidzi onsene asapangiza ufuni na citsalakano. (Aefesi 5:23) Nkazi asafunika kucita pyonsene toera kubverana na mamunace, mbaphedzera cisankhulo cace. (Aroma 7:2) Iye asafunika kubvundzika khala anakwanisa kubvera mamuna wakuti ndi wakusowa ungwiro. Angaona kuti nee anakwanisa, mphyadidi kukhonda kumanga banja cincino.

¹⁷ Mamuna peno nkazi, asafunika kucita pyonsene pinakwanisa iye toera kutsandzayisa ndzace. (Lerini Afilipi 2:4.) Paulu alonga: “M’bodzi na m’bodzi wa imwe asafunika kufuna nkazace ninga munafunikira iye ekhene; munjira inango, nkazi asafunika kulemedza kakamwe mamunace.” (Aefesi 5:21-33) Mamuna peno nkazi asafunika kupibva kuti asafuniwa na kulemedzwa. Natenepa, toera banja ikhale mwadidi, mamuna asafunika kupibva kuti nkazace asamulemedza, pontho nkazi asafunika kupibva kuti mamunace asanfuna.

18. Thangwi yanji m’phale na ntsikana asafunika kucita mphole-mphole mu ndzidzi wakubvundzirana?

¹⁸ Ndzidzi wakubvundzirana usafunika kukhala wakutsandzayisa toera m’phale na ntsikana adziwane mwadidi. Mu  ndzidzi unoyu iwo anakwanisambo kupangiza khala asafunadi kukhala pabodzi mu umaso wawo onsene. Mu ndzidzi wakubvundzirana, m’phale na ntsikana asacedza pabodzi, pontho uwiri wawo asakwanisa kudzindikira piri muntima mwa ndzace. Mukupita kwa ndzidzi, mabvero asakhala akuwanga kuna unango na ndzace. Mbwenye iwo asafunika kucita mphole-mphole pakupangiza mabvero anewa mbadzati kumanga banja toera akhonde kugwa mu nsampha wakucita ulukwali. Ufuni wandimomwene unaaphedza kukhala akudzitonga, unaaphedzambo kucalira kucita cinthu cakuti cinaikha pangozwi uxamwali wawo na Yahova.—1 Atesalonika 4:6.

19, 20. Akristu asafunika kukhala na maonero api thangwi ya banja?

¹⁹ Mabukhu na mafilimu mazinji asapangiza anthu akuti atoma kubvundzirana, pakumalisa asapangiza phwando ikulu yakumanga banja idacita iwo. Mwandimomwene, kumanga banja basi ene ndi kutoma kwa pinthu. Mbwenye Yahova asafuna kuti anyakumanga banja akhale pabodzi kwenda na kwenda.—Genesi 2:24.

²⁰ Lero, anthu azinji asanyerezera kuti kumanga banja ndi cinthu ca ndzidzi wakucepa. Asamanga banja mwakucimbiza, mbakhondana mwakucimbiza. Anango asanyerezera kuti angatoma kuthimbana na nyatwa m’banja ndi ndzidzi toera kumalisa banja. Mbwenye kumbukani nsangani wa m’Bhibhlya unalonga thangwi ya nkhambala zitatu zakulukwa pabodzi pene. Nkhambala ineyi ndi yakuwanga kakamwe, pontho mphyakunentsa kuithumula. Natenepa, tingaphemba ciphedzo ca Yahova, banja yathu inakhala yakuwanga. Yezu alonga: “Pidagumanya Mulungu, munthu mbaleke kupimwaza.”—Mateu 19:6.

21. Ninji cinafuna kuphedza mamuna na nkazi toera kufunana unango na ndzace?

²¹ Tonsene tiri na pinthu pyakuti tisapicita mwadidi na pinthu pyakuti tisacimwana kupicita mwadidi. Mphyakukhonda nentsa kuona pinacimwana anango kucita, makaka angakhala ndzathu wa m’banja. Tingacita pyenepi nee tinakhala akutsandzaya. Munjira inango, tingayang’ana makhaliro adidi a ndzathu, tinakwanisa kukhala na banja yakutsandzaya. Mphyakukwanisika kuona makhaliro anewa adidi kuna ndzathu wa m’banja wakuti ndi wakusowa ungwiro? Inde. Mwacitsandzo, Yahova asadziwa kuti ndife akusowa ungwiro, mbwenye iye asayang’ana makhaliro athu adidi.  Ndiye tani khala iye nee asacita pyenepi? Nyamasalmo alonga: ‘Yahova, mbamudakoya madawo athu, mbani akhafuna kukhala dzololo?’ (Masalmo 130:3) Mamuna na nkazi anakwanisa kutowezera Yahova, angasaka kuona makhaliro adidi a ndzawo wa m’banja, pontho angalekererana.—Lerini Akolose 3:13.

22, 23. Ndi citsandzo cipi cadidi cidasiya Abhrahamu na Sara kuna anyakumanga banja?

 ²² Mukupita kwa ndzidzi banja inakwanisa kukhala yakuwanga kakamwe. Banja ya Abhrahamu na Sara yakhala yakutsandzaya mu pyaka pizinji. Mu ndzidzi udalonga Yahova kuna Abhrahamu toera abuluke mu nzinda wa Uri, panango Sara akhali na pyaka 60 pyakubalwa. Nyerezerani kuti Sara apibva tani pidasiya iye nyumba yace yadidi mbaenda kakhala m’misasa. Mbwenye Sara akhali nkazi wadidi, xamwali wa pantima wa Abhrahamu, pontho akhalemedza kakamwe mamunace. Natenepa, Sara aphedzera pisankhulo pya Abhrahamu, mbacita pyonsene pidakwanisa iye toera pikwanirisike.—Genesi 18:12; 1 Pedhru 3:6.

²³ Mwandimomwene, kukhala na banja yadidi nee pisabveka kuti mamuna na nkazi anabverana mu pinthu pyonsene. Ntsiku inango, Abhrahamu nee akhafuna kubvera Sara, mbwenye Yahova ampanga: ‘Cita pinakupanga Sara.’ Abhrahamu acita pyenepi, pontho pyonsene pyafamba mwadidi. (Genesi 21:9-13) Khala midzidzi inango mamunanu peno nkazanu nee asatawira pinalonga imwe, lekani kufewa manungo. Cinthu cakufunika kakamwe ndi kupangiza ufuni na cilemedzo kuna ndzanu wa m’banja ngakhale nee musatawira pinalonga iye.

24. Munacitanji toera banja yanu ipase mbiri Yahova?

²⁴ Mu gulu ya Yahova muli na mabanja mazinji akuti ndi akutsandzaya. Khala musanyerezera kumanga banja, kumbukani kuti kusankhula mamuna peno nkazi ndi cibodzi mwa pisankhulo pyakufunika kakamwe. Cisankhulo ceneci cinakhuya umaso wanu onsene, natenepa, musafunika kusaka pitsogolero pya Yahova. Mungacita pyenepi, munakwanisa kusankhula munthu wakuthema, munakhunganyika mwadidi toera kumanga banja, pontho munakhala na banja yakuwanga yakuti inapasa mbiri Yahova.