Kulamanye emave likhule kakhulu linani lebantfu labasha labafuna kutibulala. Kubangelwa yini loko? Umntfwana wakho usengotini yekuba nemicabango yekutibulala yini?

Kulesihloko

•  Bantfwana nekutibulala​—Kungani batali kufanele bakhatsateke?

•  Wati njani nangabe umntfwana wakho asengotini?

•  Kutsiwani nangabe umtfwana wakho anemicabango yekutibulala?

 Kusukela nga-2009 kuya ku-2019, eMelika kutfolakele kutsi linani lebantfwana besikolwa labanetimphawu tekucindzeteleka likhule ngemaphesenti langu-40. Nelinani lebantfu labatibulele lenyukile kuleminyaka. a

 “Tinkinga bantfu labasha lababhekene nato lamuhla tingetulu kwemandla.  . . Imiphumela yato yente umonakalo lomkhulu endleleni labantfwana labativa ngayo.”​—Vivek H. Murthy, longuMcondzisi Wetemphilo eMelika

 Simiso seliBhayibheli: “Umoya lowephukile ucedzana emandla.”​—Taga 17:22.

 Cabanga ngaletintfo letilandzelako.

•   Tentakalo. Umntfwana wakho uke wabhekana yini nesimo lesibuhlungu njengekwaliwa ngulotsite, kwehlunaka nemuntfu latsandzana naye, wehluleka kwenta intfo letsine nobe kwashona umuntfu lamtsandzako? Nangabe kunjalo, kungenteka yini kutsi letintfo timcindzetela b kwendlula indlela wena mtali locabanga ngayo?

•   Indlela lenta ngayo tintfo. Umntfwana wakho utehlukanisile yini kubangani bakhe, emndenini, nobe akasakujabuleli kwenta tintfo lebekatitsandza? Sewutilahlile yini nobe wapha labanye tintfo takhe lebekatitsandza?

•   Tintfo latishoko. Kuyenteka yini kutsi umntfwana wakho akhulume ngekufa nobe emagama latsi, “Kungaba ncono kube bengingafa”? Ukhuluma ngekungafuni yini kuba ngumtfwalo kuwe?

   Kuliciniso kutsi lokunye lakushoko ‘kutintfo letingenangcondvo.’ (Jobe 6:3) Kodvwa lokunye lakushoko kungaba yindlela yakhe yekucela lusito. Ngako ungayitsatseli phansi nobe nguyiphi inkhulumo lekhombisa kutsi umntfwana wakho akasakujabuleli kuphila.

 Nangabe atsi uke wacabanga ngako, ungahle umbute, “Ucabangile yini kutsi ungakwenta nini futsi kanjani?” Imphendulo yakhe itawukhombisa kutsi lesimo siphutfuma kangakanani.

 “Njengebatali, singase singababuti bantfwana betfu imibuto letsite ngobe sesaba timphendvulo lesitotiva. Asibasite basho indlela labativa ngayo?”​—Sandra.

 Simiso seliBhayibheli: “Loko lokusenhlitiyweni yemuntfu kufana nemanti lasendzaweni leshonako, kodvwa umuntfu lonekucondza uyakhona kukukhiphela ebaleni.”​—Taga 20:5.

•   Ngesineke yenta umntfwana wakho avete loko lakucabangako. Kwekucala, mncome ngekutsi ukutjele liciniso. Ungabese utsi: “Ngifuna kucondza kutsi bekwentekani ekuphileni kwakho nekutsi bewusolo utiva njani. Ngicela ungitjele kutsi kwentekani kuwe” nobe “Ngicela ungitjele kutsi kunjani kutiva ngalendlela lotiva ngayo?”

   Tilalelisise timphendvulo temntfwana wakho. Ungayitsatseli phansi indlela lativa ngayo nobe ujake kumniketa “sisombululo.”

   Simiso seliBhayibheli: ‘Shesha kulalela, wephute kukhuluma, wephute nekutfukutsela.’​—Jakobe 1:19.

•   Yakha indlela yekumsita. Sita umntfwana wakho akubone futsi akubhale phansi naku lokulandzelako:

   Timphawu lokufanele utinake. Ngutiphi tintfo letentekako nobe imicabango lekufikelako lekwenta ufune kutibulala?

   Tintfo letikwenta ubencono. Ngutiphi tintfo lotsi nawutenta tikunciphisele kucindzeteleka futsi tishintje indlela locabanga ngayo?

   Lokungamsita. Umntfwana wakho unayo yini indlela yekutfola lusito nobe bantfu langaya kubo nakafuna lusito? Labantfu bafaka ekhatsi wena, lomunye umuntfu lomdzala lometsembako, dokotela wengcondvo nobe lomunye umuntfu wetemphilo losita bantfu labanemicabango yekutibulala.

   Simiso SeliBhayibheli: “Tinhloso talabakhutsele tibenta baphumelele,.”​—Taga 21:5.

•   Hlale unakile. Chubeka usinakisisa lesimo ngisho nobe umntfwana wakho sekabonakala asancono.

   “Ngesikhatsi indvodzana yami ingitjela kutsi ayisakucabangi kutibulala, ngatitjela kutsi lenkinga seyiphelile. Kucabanga kanjalo bekuliphutsa lelikhulu. Umuntfu angabhekana nesimo lesitamenta aphindze acabange kutibulala, futsi loko kungenteka ngekushesha.”​—Daniel.

   Sita umntfwana wakho ati lamaciniso ngendlela lativa ngayo: Indlela lativa ngayo itawendlula. Incwadzi letsi The Whole-Brain Child itsi “Indlela umuntfu lativa ngayo ifana nesimo selitulu. Nalina lisuke lina mbamba, futsi singabe siyatikhohlisa nasingema emvuleni sente ngazutsi alini; kodvwa singabe sitikhohlisa nakakhulu nasingacabanga kutsi ngobe liyana lilanga angeke liphindze liphume.”

•   Mcinisekise: Tjela umntfwana wakho kutsi uyamtsandza nekutsi ukulungele kumsita. Ungaphindze utsi, “Ngitakwenta konkhe lengingakwenta kuze ngikusite wendlule kulesimo.”

   Simiso seliBhayibheli: “Umngani sibili ukutsandza ngaso sonkhe sikhatsi futsi ungumnakenu longetsembela kuye ngesikhatsi sekuhlupheka.”​—Taga 17:17.