Mbomunga Mwayumya Lukwatano Lwanu

AMUYEEYELE buyo ŋanda iinyonyookede akaambo kakutaibikkila maano. Penti yatalika kuzwa, ciluli cilifwide alimwi abwizu bwakomena alubuwa. Cakutadooneka, ŋanda eeyi yakanyonyoonwa aguwo lyamvwula kwamyaka yainda alimwi tiiyali kubikkilwa maano. Sena yeelede kumwaigwa? Peepe. Ikuti naa ntalisyo abuyake kabucili buyumu, iŋanda ilakonzya kubambululwa.

Sena mboibede iŋanda eeyo bumuyeezya lukwatano lwanu? Mumyaka yainda, mapenzi mapati aali mbuli guwo lyamvwula alakonzya akamunyonganya mulukwatano lwanu. Ambweni nyoonse naa umwi akati kanu, wakaleka kubikkila maano kulukwatano lwanu munzila zimwi. Mulakonzya kulimvwa mbwaakalimvwa Sandy. Mboobu mbwaakaamba nokwakainda myaka iili 15 kakwetwe: “Twakakwetene buyo, pele kunyina notwakali kweendelana pe. Alimwi eeco tiicakazulide pe.”

Nokuba kuti lukwatano lwanu lwasika aciimo eeci, mutabindi kuyeeya kuti lweelede kumana. Masimpe, lukwatano lwanu lulakonzya kukwabililwa. Eeci ciyeeme kapati akulyaaba kwanu alimwi angomukwetene limwi. Kulyaaba kulakonzya kugwasya kuyumya lukamantano mulukwatano muziindi zyamasunko. Pele, ino kulyaaba caamba nzi? Alimwi ino mbuti Bbaibbele mbolikonzya kumugwasya kuyaambele akulyaaba ooku?

Kulyaaba Kubikkilizya Akuba Amukuli

Kulyaaba caamba ciimo cakulimvwa kuba amukuli naa kukulwaizyigwa mumizeezo. Zimwi ziindi, ibbala eeli lilabelesyegwa kuzintu zitaponi, mbuli kuzuzikizya cipangano mumakwebo. Mucikozyanyo, muyaki ulakonzya kulimvwa kuba amukuli wakuzuzikizya cizuminano ncaasaina kuti ayake ŋanda. Ambweni ulakonzya katamuzyi muntu wakamupa mulimo ooyo. Nokuba boobo, ulakulwaizyigwa kuzuzikizya cipangano ncaakasaina mucizuminano.

Nokuba kuti lukwatano taluli mbuli makwebo aatakulwaizyi, ikulyaaba kujatikizyidwe kulabikkilizya akuba amukuli. Nywebo amweenzinyoko wamulukwatano ambweni mwakakonka kuli Leza akubantu bambi kuti muyookkala antoomwe mubukkale boonse momukonzya kuba. Jesu wakati: ‘Ooyo wakalenga mwaalumi amwanakazi kuzwa kumatalikilo wakabacita kuti babe baalumi abanakazi. Alimwi wakaamba kuti, nkaambo kaako mwaalumi asiye wisi abanyina, akakatile kumukaakwe.’ Jesu wakayungizya kuti: “Abo mbaakakakatizya Leza muntu atabapambukanyi.” (Matayo 19:4-6) Aboobo nokwaba mapenzi, nywebo angomukwetene  limwi mweelede kukanza kuzuzikizya kulyaaba kwanu nkomwakasyomezyanya. * Mboobu mbwaakaamba mukaintu umwi: “Ciindi notwakaleka kuyeeya zyakulekana, nceciindi zintu nozyakatalika kuba kabotu.”

Nokuba boobo, kuli azimbi ziyandika kutegwa kulyaaba kuzumanane mulukwatano kunze akulimvwa kuba amukuli. Ino zintu nzi zimwi zijatikizyidwe?

Ikubelekela Antoomwe Kuyumya Kulyaaba Mulukwatano

Ikulyaaba mulukwatano tacaambi kuti banabukwetene kunyina nobaya kuzwangana pe. Nobazwangana, beelede kuyandisisya kubamba kaambo. Tabeelede kucita boobo akaambo kamukuli wacikonke, pele akaambo kambobayanzene kumizeezo. Kujatikizya mulumi amukaintu, Jesu wakati: “Tabacili bobile pe, baba nyama yomwe.”

Ino caamba nzi ikuba “nyama yomwe” angomukwetene limwi? Imwaapostolo Paulo wakalemba kuti ‘balumi beelede kuyanda banakazi babo mbuli mibili yabo beni.’ (Ba-Efeso 5:28, 29) Aboobo munzila imwi, ikuba “nyama yomwe” caamba kuti mulabikkila maano kapati kubukkale bwamuntu ngomukwetene limwi mbubwenya buyo mbomulibikkila maano. Banabukwetene beelede kucinca mizeezo yabo kuzwa kukuyeeya kuti “ncicangu,” akutalika kwaamba kuti “ncicesu.” Muciindi cakwaamba kuti “mebo” beelede kwaamba kuti “swebo.” Sikupa lulayo umwi wakaamba kuti: “Boonse bobile beelede kuleka kuyeeya alimwi akulimvwa mbuli kuti tabakwetene, pele beelede kutalika kuyeeya akulimvwa kuti balikwetene.”

Sena nywebo angomukwetene limwi mulayeeya akulimvwa kuti mulikwetene? Mulakonzya kukkala antoomwe kwamyaka minji, pele kamutali “nyama yomwe” kweelana ambokwapandululwa. Masimpe, eeco cilakonzya kucitika, pele ibbuku lyakuti Giving Time a Chance lyaamba kuti: “Lukwatano caamba ikupona antoomwe, alimwi bantu bobile mbobazumanana kubelekela antoomwe, ciya kupa kuti lukwatano lwabo luzwidilile.”

Banabukwetene bamwi ibatakkomene balazumanana kukkala antoomwe akaambo buyo kabana antela kutegwa babambe mali. Ibamwi balaliyumya akaambo kalusyomo luyumu ndobajisi lutabazumizyi kulekana naa akaambo kakuti bayoowa mbobanga bayeeya bamwi ikuti balekana. Nokuba kuti ncibotu kuti zikwati eezi zizumanane, amuyeeye kuti mbaakani yanu yeelede yakuba acilongwe cibotu, ikutali buyo kukkala antoomwe lyoonse.

Milimo Yaluyando Iikulwaizya Kulyaaba Mulukwatano

Ibbaibbele lyakasinsima kuti “kumazuba aakumamanino,” bantu bayooba “basikuliyanda.”  (2 Timoteo 3:1, 2) Kweelana abusinsimi oobo, kulibonya kuti sunu icikankaizyigwa kapati nkulibikkila maano muntu lwakwe mwini. Muzikwati zinji, ikulyaaba kakunyina cisyomezyo cakuti muntu ulacitilwa cintu cimwi akaambo kancaacita kubonwa kuti nkukompama. Nokuba boobo, mulukwatano luzwidilide, banabukwetene boonse balatondezya muuya wakulyaaba. Ino mbuti mbomunga mwatondezya muuya uuli boobo?

Muciindi cakubikkila buyo maano kumubuzyo wakuti, ‘Ino ncinzi ncondili mukujana mulukwatano oolu?’ amulibuzye kuti, ‘Ino ncinzi mebo lwangu ncondili mukucita kutegwa ndiyumye cikwati cangu?’ Ibbaibbele lyaamba kuti Banakristo tabeelede ‘kuyeeya kuligwasya beni luzutu pe, umwi aumwi uleelede kusungwaala kugwasya mweenzinyina.’ (Ba-Filipi 2:4) Nomuli mukuyeeya cakuzinzibala anjiisyo eeyi yamu Bbaibbele, amulange-lange milimo yanu nsondo yamana. Ziindi zyongaye nomwakacitila ngomukwetene limwi milimo yaluzyalo? Ngomukwetene limwi naakali kuyanda kukanana, sena mwakaswiilila nokuba kuti tiimwakali kuyanda kucita boobo? Ino zintu nzi nzyomwakacitila antoomwe izyakamubotela kapati ngomukwetene limwi kwiinda ndinywe?

Nomulanga-langa mibuzyo eeyo, mutalibiliki kuti milimo yanu mibotu tiikabonwi naa kubula mpindu. Ibbuku limwi lyakaamba kuti: “Muzikwati zinji, milimo iitondezya kubabikkila maano bamwi ibapa kuti abalo bacite munzila iikulwaizya. Aboobo, amucite mbuli mbomukonzya kutegwa mukulwaizye ngomukwetene limwi kucita milimo iigwasya kwiinda mukucita boobo nywebo lwanu.” Milimo iicitwa cakulyaaba iyumya lukwatano lwanu nkaambo itondezya kuti mulacibikkila maano cikwati canu alimwi muyanda kuti cizumanane.

Ikubona Lukwatano Kuti Talukamani Kulayandika Kapati

Jehova Leza ulakubikkila maano kapati kusyomeka. Masimpe, Ibbaibbele lyaamba kuti: “Kuli yooyo uusyomeka, [Jehova] ulasyomeka.” (2 Samuele 22:26, NW) Ikuzumanana kusyomeka kuli Leza kubikkilizya kuzumanana kusyomeka kububambe bwalukwatano oobo mbwaakatalisya.—Matalikilo 2:24.

Ikuti nywebo angomukwetene limwi kamusyomeka, muyoolimvwa kabotu akukkalwa moyo kujatikizya cilongwe canu citamani. Nomuyeeya zyakumbele, amweezyeezye kamuli antoomwe. Ikuyeeya kuti tamukwetene takweelede kuba pe, alimwi ikuzilanga munzila eeyi zintu kukwabilila lukwatano lwanu. Mukaintu umwi waamba kuti: “Noliba leelyo nondikalala kapati [kumulumaangu] alimwi akubijilwa kuzintu zili mukutucitikila, tandilibiliki pe kuti cikwati cesu cilamana. Ndilibilika buyo kujatikizya mbotunga twatalika kumvwana alimwi. Tandidooneki buya kuti tulatalika kumvwana alimwi, pele conditazi aciindi eeco ninzila mbotunga twacicita.”

Ikubona lukwatano kuti talukamani ncibeela ciyandika kapati cakulyaaba kwaumwi kuli ngobakwetene limwi, pele cuusisya ncakuti, eeco ncecibulide muzikwati zinji. Nobakazyanya kapati, umwi akati kabanabukwetene ulakonzya kwaamba kuti, “Ndilaunka ndikusiye!” naa “Ndilajana uumbi uundibikkila maano!” Masimpe,  ibunji bwaziindi majwi aali boobo alaambwa imuntu katasinizyide. Nokuba boobo, Ibbaibbele lyaamba kuti lulimi lulakonzya ‘kaluzwide musamu uujaya.’ (Jakobo 3:8) Ikukonga alimwi akulailila kuti mulacita cimwi cintu kuti ncomuyanda catacitwa kuli mbuli kuti mwaamba kuti: ‘Cikwati cesu tandiciboni kuti cinooliko lyoonse. Ndilakonzya kuzwa kufwumbwa ciindi.’ Ikutondezya muuya uuli boobo kulakonzya kunyonyoona cikwati.

Nomulanga lukwatano kuti luyoozumanana, mulangila kuba angomukwetene limwi mubuyumuyumu boonse alimwi amuzintu zisinkilila. Eeci ciletela mpindu aimbi. Ciyoopa kuti cuube-ube kapati kulindinywe angomukwetene limwi kutabikkila maano kukulubizya kwaumwi alimwi akukkazikilana moyo akulekelelana. (Ba-Kolose 3:13) Ibbuku limwi lipa lulayo lyaamba kuti, “mulukwatano luzwidilide kulalangilwa kuti nyoonse nyobile mulakonzya kulubizya alimwi akuti lukwatano lulazumanana nokuba kuti kuli kulubizya.”

Mubuzuba bwabwiinga bwanu, mwakalyaaba cakusinizya, ikutali kumbunga yalukwatano, pele kumuntu uupona, nkokuti ngomukwetene limwi. Aaka kaambo keelede kubujatikizya kapati mbomuyeeya lino alimwi ambomulilemeka mbomuli mulukwatano. Sena tamuzumini kuti mweelede kuzumanana angomukwetene limwi ikutali buyo akaambo kakuti musyoma kapati kuti lukwatano lulisetekene, pele alimwi akaambo kakuti mulamuyanda muntu ngomukwetene limwi?

Bupanduluzi buyungizidwe

Kabbokesi/[Cifwanikiso icili apeeji 5]

Ncomukonzya Kucita Lino

Ino mukanzide kapati buti kulyaaba alimwi akulombozya kubamba lukwatano lwanu? Ambweni mulibwene mbomunga mwayaambele. Ikutegwa muzumanane akulyaaba kwanu, amusoleke kutobela nzila eezi:

• Amulilingule. Amulibuzye kuti: ‘Sena ndili mulukwatano ncobeni, naa ndiciyeeya akucita zintu mbuli muntu uutakwete naa uutakwetwe?’ Amumubuzye muntu ngomukwetene limwi mbwayeeya kujatikizya ndinywe mumakani aaya.

• Amubale cibalo eeci antoomwe amuntu ngomukwetene limwi. Mpoonya cakukkalikana, amubandike angomukwetene limwi nzila mbomukonzya kuyaambele akulyaaba kwanu mulukwatano lwanu.

• Amucite milimo angomukwetene limwi iigwasya kutegwa muyaambele akulyaaba kwanu. Mucikozyanyo: Amulange zifwoto zyabwiinga bwanu alimwi amumasena amwi ngomwakali kuswaya. Amucite zintu nzyomwakali kukkomanina nomwakali kweebana naa mumyaka mitaanzi yalukwatano lwanu. Amwiiye antoomwe zibalo zibandika Bbaibbele zyamu Ngazi Yamulindizi a Galamukani! zikanana makani aalukwatano.

Kabbokesi/[Cifwanikiso icili apeeji 6]

Mulukwatano, Ikulyaaba Kubikkilizya . . .

• Mukuli “Zuzikizya ncowakakonkezya. Ncibotu kutakonka kwiinda kutazuzikizya cikonke cako.”—Mukambausi 5:4, 5.

• Ikubelekela Antoomwe “Bantu bobile mbabotu kwiinda omwe . . . Na umwi wawa, mweenzinyina ulamubusya.”—Mukambausi 4:9, 10.

• Kulyaaba Kugwasya Umwi “Kupa kuli coolwe kwiinda kupegwa.”—Incito 20:35.

• Kubona Lukwatano Kuti Talukamani “Luyando . . . lulijisi camba mumapenzi oonse.”—1 Bakolinti 13:4, 7, Ci.

[Zifwanikiso izili apeeji 7]

Ngomukwetene limwi naayanda kukanana, sena mulamuswiilila?