1, 2. (a) Ziziphi iingxaki ezidla ngokuvela kwiintsapho ezininzi ibe yiyiphi imibuzo ephakamayo? (b) Abazali nabantwana banokujamelana njani nokutshintsha kweemeko?

KUYINTO ebuhlungu ukubona abazali bakho, ababekade beyimiqabaqaba, bengasakwazi ukuzinyamekela. Mhlawumbi uMama okanye uTata uwile waza waphuka isinqe, waphazamiseka engqondweni waza walahleka, okanye unesigulo esithile. Kwelinye icala, umzali usenokungayamkeli into yokuba akasenawo amandla okwenza izinto awayekade ezenza. (Yobhi 14:1) Yintoni enokwenziwa xa kunje? Banokunyanyekelwa njani?

² Elinye inqaku elithetha ngokunyamekela abalupheleyo lithi: “Nakuba kungelulanga ukuthetha ngokwaluphala komzali, iintsapho ezikwenzayo oko zidla ngokukwazi bhetele ukumelana neengxaki ezinokuvela.” Oku kubalulekile, kuba iingxaki zokwaluphala azinakuphepheka. Sekunjalo, sinako ukwenza izigqibo kwangoku silungiselela amaxesha anjalo. Makhe sithethe ngeendlela iintsapho ezinokusebenzisana ngazo ukuze zijamelane neengxaki ezinokuvela.

3. Yintoni ekusenokufuneka iintsapho ziyenze xa abazali abalupheleyo befuna uncedo olungakumbi? (Jonga umfanekiso osekuqaleni.)

³ Kubakho ixesha apho abantu abalupheleyo bengasakwazi kuzinyamekela yaye befuna ukuncediswa. (Funda iNtshumayeli  12:1-7.) Xa abazali bengasakwazi kuzenzela nto, bamele bathethe nabantwana babo asele bebadala ngezona ndlela zokubanyamekela ezifikelelekayo. Kungakuhle ukuba badibane njengentsapho ukuze bathethe ngezinto ekuza kufuneka zenziwe ngumntu ngamnye neziza kuba luncedo. Mntu ngamnye, ingakumbi abazali, umele athethe phandle ngendlela avakalelwa ngayo aze ajonge izinto ngendlela eziyiyo. Basenokugqiba enoba abazali bangaqhubeka behleli emzini wabo kusini na xa kukho umntu oza kubanceda. * Okanye mntu ngamnye unokucinga ngendlela anokunceda ngayo. (IMize. 24:6) Ngokomzekelo, abanye banokukwazi ukubanyamekela ngokuthe ngqo abazali ngoxa abanye benokuncedisa ngemali. Bamele baqonde ukuba mntu ngamnye unendima amele ayidlale; noko ke, loo ndima inokutshintsha njengokuba ixesha lihamba.

4. Iintsapho zinokulufumana phi uncedo?

⁴ Xa uqala ukunyamekela umzali wakho, zama ukwazi yonke into ngemeko yakhe. Ukuba uqaliswa sisifo esiza kuya sisiba mandundu, funda ngaso ukuze wazi izinto omele uzilindele. (IMize. 1:5) Funa ulwazi kumasebe karhulumente anceda abantu abalupheleyo. Khangela ukuba luluphi uncedo onokulufumana ekuhlaleni ukuze kube lula ukunyamekela abazali bakho. Oku kutshintsha kweemeko zentsapho yakho kusenokubangela intlungu, ukothuka nokuphazamiseka. Chaza iimvakalelo zakho kumhlobo omthembayo. Ukongezelela koko, zityand’ igila kuYehova. Unokukunceda ukuze ube noxolo lwengqondo uze ukwazi ukujamelana nayo nayiphi na ingxaki.—INdu. 55:22; IMize. 24:10; Fil. 4:6, 7.

5. Kutheni kubalulekile ukuyifumana kusengaphambili inkcazelo yokunyanyekelwa kwabantu abalupheleyo?

⁵ Bekunye neentsapho zabo, bambi asele bekhulile baye bazame ukuyifumana kusengaphambili inkcazelo yokunyanyekelwa kwabantu abalupheleyo—njengenkcazelo ethetha ngokuhlala komzali nomntwana wakhe, ukuhlala kwiindawo zokugcina abantu abalupheleyo nalo naluphi na uncedo olufumanekayo ekuhlaleni. Baye bazibona zisekude ‘iinkathazo nezinto ezenzakalisayo’ ezinokuvela baza bazixhobela. (INdu. 90:10) Iintsapho ezininzi aziwenzi la malungiselelo, nto leyo ebangela ukuba zenze izigqibo buphuthuphuthu xa kuvela ingxaki. Enye ingcali ithi “eli lelona xesha lingafanelekanga kwaphela lokwenza izigqibo.” Xa sele kudyuduzelwa ngale ndlela, kulula ukuba amalungu entsapho angquzulane. Kanti ukuceba kusengaphambili kunokuwenza azole xa kufuneka enze uhlengahlengiso.—IMize. 20:18.

6. Ukuthetha ngohlengahlengiso olunokufuneka kunokubanceda njani abazali nabantwana?

⁶ Kusenokuba nzima ukuthetha nabazali bakho ngohlengahlengiso olunokufuneka kwindawo abahlala kuyo. Sekunjalo, baninzi abathi kwabanceda ukuthetha ngezo zinto. Ngoba? Kuba kwabanika ithuba lokwenza amalungiselelo ngoxa kusemnandi, iingxaki zingekabikho. Bafumanisa ukuba xa bephakelana ngezimvo kusengaphambili, bethetha ngokusuk’ entliziyweni nangobubele, kuba lula ukwenza izinto ebekugqitywe ngazo. Kwanaxa abazali befuna ukuzihlalela baze bazenzele izinto kangangoko kunokwenzeka, kuba luncedo ukuthetha nabantwana babo ngendlela abangathanda ukunyanyekelwa ngayo xa kunokuba yimfuneko.

7, 8. Ziziphi izinto ezimele zithethe ngazo iintsapho, ibe kutheni?

⁷ Bazali, xa nithetha nabantwana benu,  baxeleleni iminqweno yenu nemali eninayo. Loo nto iya kubanceda bakwazi ukunenzela izigqibo ezifanelekileyo kwanaxa ningasakwazi kuzenzela ngokwenu. Ngokuqinisekileyo baya kufuna ukuhlonela iminqweno yenu baze baninike inkululeko yokwenza izinto enifuna ukuzenza kangangoko kunokwenzeka. (Efe. 6:2-4) Ngokomzekelo, ngaba beningathanda ukuya kuhlala nomnye wabantwana benu nentsapho yakhe, okanye beningathanda kwenzeke ngenye indlela? Yilindele into yokuba ningaboni ngasonye, ibe kunokuthatha ixesha ngaphambi kokuba nabani na—enoba ngumzali okanye ngabantwana—atshintshe indlela acinga ngayo.

⁸ Sonke simele sazi ukuba iingxaki zinokuphepheka xa zicetyelwe kusengaphambili. (IMize. 15:22) Oko kuquka ukuthetha ngeendlela zonyango ezikhoyo nezo siza kuzikhetha. Iinkalo ezibhalwe kwiAdvanced Medical Directive, ikhadi elisetyenziswa ngamaNgqina kaYehova, zezinye zezinto ekunokuthethwa ngazo. Mntu ngamnye unelungelo lokuxelelwa ngonyango anokulufumana, nelungelo lokulamkela okanye angalwamkeli. Eli khadi lichaza indlela yonyango umntu ayifunayo. Ukugunyazisa umntu oza kukumela (kumazwe ekusemthethweni ukwenjenjalo) kunokuqinisekisa ukuba iminqweno yakho iyathotyelwa. Abo babandakanyekileyo ekunyamekeleni abalupheleyo bamele babe neekopi zeli khadi. Abanye baye bafaka iikopi zeli khadi kumaphepha elifa, aweinshorensi, awebhanki, kwiifomu zikarhulumente, njalo njalo.

9, 10. Ziziphi iingxaki zempilo ezinokubangela ukuba kubekho utshintsho kwindlela anyanyekelwa ngayo umzali?

⁹ Iintsapho ezininzi ziye zigqibe kwelokuba abazali bamele babe nenkululeko yokuzenzela izinto kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Basenokukwazi ukuziphekela, ukucoca, ukutya amayeza nokuthetha. Baye baqinisekise abantwana babo ukuba akukho mfuneko yokusoloko bebagadile. Noko ke, ekuhambeni kwexesha, abazali basenokungakwazi ukuzihambela, ukuziyela evenkileni, okanye baqalise ukulibala, kuze kufuneke abantwana babancedise.

¹⁰ Ukwaluphala kunokubangela ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo, ukuxinezeleka, ukushiywa ngumchamo nelindle, ukuba buthuntu kweendlebe, ukungaboni nokulibala; kodwa ke, ezinye zezi zigulo ziyanyangeka. Xa kuvela ezi ngxaki, nimele nikhawuleze niye kugqirha. Kusenokufuneka abantwana bakumele ngeenyawo oku. Ngoku kusenokufuneka ibe ngabo abenza izigqibo ebezisoloko zisenziwa ngabazali babo. Ukuze abazali banyanyekelwe kakuhle, kusenokufuneka ibe ngabantwana ababathethelayo, babancedise kwiifomu ezifuna ukuzaliswa, babase kwiindawo abafuna ukuya kuzo, njalo njalo.—IMize. 3:27.

11. Yintoni enokwenziwa ukuze kube lula ngabazali ukuqhelana notshintsho olufunekayo?

 ¹¹ Ukuba abazali bakho abade bachache, kusenokufuneka utshintsho kwindlela yokubanyamekela nendawo abahlala kuyo. Ukuba olu tshintsho nilwenza kancinci kancinci, kuya kuba lula ukuqhelana nalo. Ukuba uhlala kude nabazali bakho, ngaba ubungenakucela omnye umKristu okanye ummelwane ukuba aman’ ukuya kubakroba aze anazise xa kuvela iingxaki? Ngaba bafuna nje ukuphekelwa nokucocelwa indlu? Ngaba zikho izinto eninokuzitshintsha ekhayeni labo ukuze kube lula ngabo ukuhambahamba, ukuhlamba nokwenza ezinye izinto? Mhlawumbi ekuphela kwento efunekayo ukuze bakwazi ukuzihlalela, ngumntu oncedisayo. Noko ke, ukuba abanakukwazi ukuzihlalela, kusenokufuneka uncedo olungakumbi. Enoba injani imeko yabo, phanda ngeenkonzo zokubanyamekela ezifumaneka ekuhlaleni. *—Funda iMizekeliso 21:5.

12, 13. Abantwana abahlala kude nabazali babo baye baqhubeka njani bebanyamekela?

¹² Abantwana abathanda abazali babo bafuna bonwabe. Kuthi ngco kubo xa besazi ukuba abazali babo bayanyanyekelwa. Noko ke, ekubeni benezinye iimbopheleleko, abantwana abaninzi bahlala kude nabazali babo. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, abanye baye basebenzisa ixesha lekhefu abalifumana emsebenzini ukuze banyamekele abazali babo, babenzele imisebenzi yasekhaya. Ukubafowunela rhoqo—yonke imihla ukuba kunokwenzeka—ukubabhalela iileta okanye ukubathumelela iiemail, kuya kubaqinisekisa abazali ukuba bayathandwa.—IMize. 23:24, 25.

¹³ Enoba injani imeko yentsapho yenu, indlela yokunyamekela abazali bakho iyafuna ukukhe ihlalelwe phantsi. Ukuba uhlala kude kubo yaye abazali bakho ngamaNgqina, unokucela amacebiso kubadala bebandla labo. Ungalibali nokuwuthandazela lo mba. (Funda iMizekeliso 11:14.) Kwanokuba abangawo amaNgqina, kubalulekile ‘ukubeka uyihlo nonyoko.’ (Eks. 20:12; IMize. 23:22) Ewe kona, iintsapho azinakuze zenze izigqibo ezifanayo. Abanye badla ngokufuna abazali abalupheleyo beze kuhlala nabo okanye bafudukele kufutshane. Noko ke, maxa wambi loo nto isenokungenzeki. Abanye abazali basenokukhetha ukungahlali nabantwana babo kunye neentsapho zabo; bathanda ukuzihlalela ukuze bangabi luxanduva. Abanye basenokukwazi ukuhlawulela umntu oncedisayo, ibe banokukhetha ukwenjenjalo.—INtshu. 7:12.

14. Ziziphi iingxaki ezinokuvelela abo banembopheleleko yokunyamekela abazali?

¹⁴ Kwiintsapho ezininzi, idla ngokuba ngumntwana ohlala kufutshane nekhaya onyamekela abazali bakhe. Sekunjalo, abantwana abamele bazityeshele iintsapho zabo ngoxa benyamekela abazali babo. Mntu ngamnye unexesha namandla alinganiselweyo. Neemeko zalowo unyamekela abazali zinokutshintsha, kuze kufuneke kwenziwe uhlengahlengiso. Ngaba kukho umntwana omnye othwele phantse zonke iimbopheleleko zokunyamekela abazali? Ngaba abanye abantwana abanakumncedisa ngakumbi, mhlawumbi babolekisane ngokubanyamekela?

15. Umntu onyamekela umzali unokuncedwa njani ukuze angaphelelwa ngamandla?

¹⁵ Xa umzali owalupheleyo efuna ukusoloko  ebekw’ esweni, lowo umnyamekelayo usenokuphelelwa ngamandla. (INtshu. 4:6) Abantwana abanothando basenokufuna ukwenzela abazali babo konke okusemandleni abo, kodwa oku kusenokuba yindinisa. Abantwana abakule meko bamele bafune uncedo xa kuyimfuneko. Mhlawumbi into efunekayo kukuba bamane bencediswa, ukuze bangakhawulezi bagqibe kwelokuba babase kwiindawo zokugcina abalupheleyo.

16, 17. Ziziphi iingxaki ezinokuvelela abantwana ngoxa benyamekela abazali babo, ibe yintoni enokubanceda? (Funda nebhokisi ethi “Ukubulela Abazali Ngokubanyamekela.”)

¹⁶ Kubuhlungu ukubukela umzali wakho omthandayo esaluphala. Abantwana abaninzi baye badane, baxhalabe, bakruquke, bacaphuke, bazibek’ ityala okanye babe nenzondo. Maxa wambi, umzali unokuthetha izinto engacinganga okanye angabonisi mbulelo. Ukuba loo nto iyenzeka, musa ukukhawuleza ucaphuke. Enye ingcali yezigulo zengqondo ithi: “Eyona ndlela yokulwa nazo naziphi na iimvakalelo, ngakumbi xa zingemnandanga, kukuzamkela. Musa ukuziphika ezo mvakalelo okanye uzigwebe ngenxa yazo.” Chazela iqabane lakho, isalamane okanye umhlobo omthembayo ngeemvakalelo onazo. Ukuthetha nabo kuya kukunceda ungakhawulezi ucaphuke.

¹⁷ Iimeko zisenokutshintsha, ize intsapho ingakwazi ukuhlawula iindleko okanye ukunyamekela umzali owalupheleyo ngoxa ehlala ekhaya. Kusenokufuneka asiwe kwikhaya lokunyamekela abantu abalupheleyo. Omnye udade wayesiya kumbona phantse yonke imihla unina kweli khaya. Uthi: “Sasingakwazi ukumnyamekela ubusuku nemini uMama. Kwakungelula ukumsa kwikhaya labalupheleyo. Kwakubuhlungu nyhani. Kodwa kwanyanzeleka ukuba simse apho kwiinyanga zakhe zokugqibela, ibe naye wayamkela loo nto.”

18. Yintoni abanokuqiniseka ngayo abo banyamekela abazali babo?

¹⁸ Akuyondlwan’ iyanetha ukunyamekela abazali bakho njengoko besaluphala. Akukho ludwe lwezinto omele uzenze nomele ungazenzi xa ubanyamekela. Sekunjalo, ukuceba kakuhle, ukusebenzisana, ukuthethathethana, yaye ngaphezu kwento yonke, ukuthandaza ngokusuk’ entliziyweni, kunokukunceda ukwazi ukuyiphumeza imbopheleleko yokunyamekela abazali bakho. Xa usenjenjalo, uya kwaneliseka kukwazi ukuba banyanyekelwa ngeyona ndlela ifanelekileyo. (Funda eyoku-1 kwabaseKorinte 13:4-8.) Okubaluleke nangakumbi, qiniseka ukuba uYehova uya kukusikelela ngoxolo lwengqondo kuba uye wabahlonela abazali bakho.—Fil. 4:7.