1, 2. (a) Abalusi abangamaSirayeli babesenza wuphi umsebenzi? (b) Abazali bafana njani nabalusi?

KWASIRAYELI mandulo, abalusi babephila ubomi obunzima. Ngaphezu nje kokunyamezela ubushushu nengqele, kwakufuneka bakhusele umhlambi kwizilwanyana nakubantu. Abalusi babezihlola rhoqo izimvu, bezama ukunyamekela naziphi na ezigulayo okanye ezenzakeleyo. Babewanyamekela ngokukhethekileyo amatakane kuba ayebuthathaka.—Gen. 33:13.

² Ngeendlela ezininzi, abazali abangamaKristu baneempawu ezifana nezabalusi. Banembopheleleko yokukhulisela abantwana babo “kwingqeqesho nasekweyiselweni kwengqondo kuYehova.” (Efe. 6:4) Ngaba ngumsebenzi olula lo? Hayi! Abantwana bajamelene nobuxoki obusasazwa nguSathana kunye notyekelo lwesono abanalo. (2 Tim. 2:22; 1 Yoh. 2:16) Ukuba unabantwana, ungabanceda njani? Makhe sithethe ngezinto ezintathu onokuzenza ukuze ube ngumalusi kubantwana bakho—ukubazi, ukubondla nokubakhokela.

3. Abazali banokuyazi njani imbonakalo yabantwana babo?

³ Umalusi onenkathalo uhlola nganye kwizimvu zakhe ngononophelo ukuze aqinisekise ukuba zisempilweni. Nawe unokwenza into efanayo kubantwana bakho. IBhayibhile ithi: “Umele uyazi imbonakalo yomhlambi wakho.” (IMize. 27:23) Ukuze ubazi abantwana bakho, umele wazi izinto abazenzayo nabazicingayo kunye neemvakalelo zabo. Unokuyenza njani loo nto? Eyona ndlela iluncedo kukuncokola nabo rhoqo.

4, 5. (a) Ngawaphi amacebiso anokunceda abantwana bakhululeke kubazali babo? (Jonga umfanekiso osekuqaleni.) (b) Yintoni oyenzileyo ukuze abantwana bakho bakhululeke kuwe?

⁴ Abanye abazali baye baqaphela ukuba, kuba nzima ukuncokola nabantwana babo xa sele befikisa—basenokuba neentloni zokuthetha ngezinto abazicingayo. Ukuba nabakho abantwana banjalo, yintoni onokuyenza? Kunokuba unyanzele umntwana wakho ukuba ancokole nawe ixesha elide ngemibandela enobuzaza, zama ukuncokola naye naxa nizipholele. (Dut. 6:6, 7) Kusenokufuneka uzame ixesha lokuba nenze izinto kunye. Nisenokuphuma kunye, nidlale kunye, okanye nenze umsebenzi wasekhaya. Ukuncokola ngamaxesha anjalo kunokubanceda abantwana bakhululeke.

⁵ Kuthekani ukuba umntwana wakho akakakhululeki ncam? Mhlawumbi unokuzama enye indlela. Ngokomzekelo, kunokuba ubuze intombi yakho ukuba belunjani usuku lwayo, yixelele ngolwakho. Mhlawumbi nayo inokutsho iqhabalake. Okanye xa ufuna ukwazi into ayicingayo umntwana wakho ngombandela othile, mbuze imibuzo ngendlela engazi kumfaka koneni. Usenokumbuza ukuba omnye wabahlobo bakhe ucinga ntoni ngaloo mbandela, uze emva koko ubuze ukuba ebenokumcebisa athini.

6. Kuthetha ntoni ukungeneka nokungasoloko uxakekile?

⁶ Kakade ke, ukuze abantwana bakho bathethe ngokukhululekileyo nawe, umele ube ngumntu ongenekayo nongasoloko exakekile. Xa abazali besoloko bexakekile, abantwana badla ngokuzigcina kubo iingxaki zabo. Kuthekani ngokungeneka? Kufuneka okungakumbi kunokusuka nje uthi, “Mntwanam, ungancokola nam nanini na.” Abantwana bakho bamele babone ukuba akuzi kuzijongela phantsi iingxaki zabo okanye ukhawuleze ucaphuke. Abazali abaninzi baye bangumzekelo omhle woku. UKayla oneminyaka eyi-19 uthi: “Akukho nto ndingenakuncokola ngayo noTata. Akandiqhawuli ndisathetha, akandigwebi; uyandimamela nje qha. Emva koko, uye andinike elona cebiso liza kundinceda.”

7. (a) Yiyiphi eyona ndlela ifanelekileyo yokuncokola nabantwana ngemibandela enjengokuthandana? (b) Yintoni enokwenza abantwana bangafuni ukucela amacebiso kubazali babo?

⁷ Kwanaxa uncokola nabantwana bakho ngezinto ezinobuzaza—njengokuthandana—kulumkele ukusoloko ugxininisa kwizinto abangamele bazenze, de ulibale ukubaxelela ngendlela efanelekileyo yokwenza izinto. Ngokomzekelo: Masithi uya kwivenkile yokutya uze ufumanise ukuba bakuxelela ngokutya okunetyhefu nje kuphela. Ngokuqinisekileyo ubuya kuyishiya loo venkile uze ukhangele enye. Abantwana bakho banokwenza into efanayo xa benokuza kuwe befuna amacebiso, suka wena ubanike uludwe lwezilumkiso. (Funda amaKolose 3:21.) Kunokuba wenjenjalo, zama ukuwuvelela macala onke umbandela.  Omnye udade ogama linguEmily uthi: “Xa abazali bam bethetha nam ngokuthandana, abakwenzi kube ngathi yinto embi. Bandixelela indlela ekumnandi ngayo ukufunda umntu nokufumana iqabane lomtshato. Baye bandenza ndakwazi ukuncokola nabo ndikhululekile. Ngoku, kunokuba ndibafihlele, ndifuna ukubaxelela xa kukho umntu endithandana naye.”

8, 9. (a) Kunceda ngantoni ukubaphulaphula abantwana bakho, ungabaqhawuli besathetha? (b) Kukuncede njani wena ukubaphulaphula abantwana bakho?

⁸ Nawe unokubabonisa abantwana bakho ukuba uyangeneka ngokubaphulaphula ngenyameko. (Funda uYakobi 1:19.) UKatia, ongudade okhulisa umntwana yedwa, uthi: “Ndandikade ndikhawuleza ukukruquka yintombi yam. Ndandingayilindi nokuba igqibe ukuthetha. Ndandidinwa okanye ndingakhathali. Ekubeni ngoku nditshintshile, nomntwana wam utshintshile. Uyandimamela.”

⁹ Kwenzeka into efanayo nakuRonald, onentombi efikisayo. Uthi: “Xa wandixelela ukuba kukho umfana amthandayo esikolweni, ndaqala ndacaphuka. Kodwa xa ndacinga ngendlela uYehova anomonde ngayo kubakhonzi bakhe, ndaqonda ukuba kubhetele ndimyeke umntwana wam athethe agqibe ngaphambi kokuba ndimcebise. Ndanceda! Ndandiqala ukuyiqonda kakuhle indlela evakalelwa ngayo intombi yam. Yathi isakugqiba ukuthetha, kwalula ngam ukuba ndithethe nayo ngobubele. Ndothuka xa yalamkelayo icebiso lam. Yandixelela ukuba ifuna ukutshintsha iindlela zayo.” Ukuncokola rhoqo nabantwana bakho kukunceda uyazi into abayicingayo nendlela abavakalelwa ngayo. Uya kutsho ukwazi ukubacebisa kwizigqibo abazenzayo ebomini. *

10, 11. Unokubanceda njani abantwana bakho bangabhaduli?

¹⁰ Umalusi onenkathalo uyazi ukuba nayiphi na kwizimvu zakhe inokubhadula imke emhlambini. Isenokuthabatheka ngamadlelo aluhlaza, de imke mpela emhlambini. Ngendlela efanayo, ngokuthe ngcembe umntwana usenokuya ecezela kude, ngenxa yokuthabatheka  lunxulumano okanye indlela yokuzonwabisa eyingozi. (IMize. 13:20) Unokuyinqanda njani imeko enjalo?

¹¹ Xa ufundisa abantwana bakho, khawuleza ubancede kwinto obonayo ukuba basenokuchanabeka kuyo. Zama ukomeleza iimpawu zobuKristu esele benazo ezifuna ukuphuculwa. (2 Pet. 1:5-8) Elona xesha lihle lokwenza oku lunqulo lwentsapho. Xa babuthetha ngeli lungiselelo, Ubulungiseleli BoBukumkani bukaOktobha 2008 bathi: “Iintloko-ntsapho zikhuthazwa ukuba ziyithwale kakuhle imbopheleleko yazo phambi koYehova ukuze ziqiniseke ukuba rhoqo kuqhutywa isifundo seBhayibhile sentsapho esiyingenelo.” Ngaba uyalixhakamfula eli thuba lokwalusa abantwana bakho? Baya kuyixabisa indlela okubeka ngayo kwindawo yokuqala ukukhulisa ulwalamano lwabo noThixo.—Mat. 5:3; Fil. 1:10.

12. (a) Ukwenza unqulo lwentsapho rhoqo kubancede njani abantu abaselula? (Quka ibhokisi ethi “ Bayaluxabisa.”) (b) Lukuncede njani wena unqulo lwentsapho?

¹² Khawuve ukuba wathini udade oselula ogama linguCarissa ngendlela uNqulo Lwentsapho oluyincede ngayo intsapho yakowabo. Uthi: “Iyandivuyisa into yokuba sikwazi ukuhlala phantsi sonke size sincokole. Isinceda sisondelelane size senze izinto esiya kuhlala sizikhumbula. UTata uyaqinisekisa ukuba silwenza qho uNqulo Lwentsapho. Kuyandikhuthaza ukubona indlela aluxabisa ngayo—kundenza ndiluxabise nam. Kundenza ndimhlonele ngakumbi uTata njengentloko-ntsapho.” UBrittney, naye ongudade oselula, uthi: “UNqulo Lwentsapho lundisondezile kubazali bam. Lundibonise ukuba banomdla kwiingxaki zam ibe bandikhathalele. Lusinceda sibe yintsapho emanyeneyo.” Kucacile ukuba, ukondla abantwana bakho—ngakumbi xa usebenzisa unqulo lwentsapho—yindlela ephambili yokuba ngumalusi onenkathalo. *

13. Umntwana unokuncedwa njani afune ukukhonza uYehova?

¹³ Umalusi onenkathalo usebenzisa intonga ukuze alathise aze akhusele umhlambi wakhe. Eyona nto afuna ukuyenza kukukhaphela izimvu zakhe “edlelweni elilungileyo.” (Hez. 34:13, 14) Ngaba njengomzali, asilosukelo lwakho olo? Ufuna ukunceda umntwana wakho akhonze uYehova. Ufuna abantwana bakho bavakalelwe ngendlela awavakalelwa ngayo umdumisi, owathi: “Ukwenza ukuthanda kwakho, Thixo wam, kundiyolisile, nomthetho wakho ungaphakathi ezibilinini zam.” (INdu. 40:8) Abantu abaselula abavakalelwa ngolo hlobo baya kuzinikela kuYehova baze babhaptizwe. Bamele bakwenze oku xa bebadala ngokwaneleyo yaye befuna ukukhonza uYehova.

14, 15. (a) Yintoni abamele bazame ukuyenza abazali abangamaKristu? (b) Sisenokuba yintoni isizathu sokuba umntwana oselula abe namathandabuzo?

¹⁴ Kuthekani ukuba abantwana abenzi nkqubela—mhlawumbi de bathandabuze nonqulo lwabo? Zama ukubanceda bamthande uYehova uThixo baze babe nombulelo ngezinto azenzileyo. (ISityhi. 4:11) Ngexesha labo, baya kuzenzela isigqibo sokunqula uThixo.

¹⁵ Okwangoku, kuthekani ukuba abantwana bakho baqalisa ukuba namathandabuzo? Unokubanceda njani babone ukuba ukukhonza uYehova yeyona ndlela iphumelelayo ebomini yaye kunokubenza  bonwabe? Zama ukuqonda eyona nto ibenza babe namathandabuzo. Ngokomzekelo, ngaba nyhani unyana wakho akavumelani neemfundiso zeBhayibhile, okanye ngaba ufuna nje isibindi sokukwazi ukuzithethelela koontanga? Ngaba nyhani intombi yakho iyathandabuza ukuba kububulumko ukuthobela imilinganiselo kaThixo, okanye ngaba nje iziva ililolo okanye ingamkeleki kwabanye?

16, 17. Abazali banokubanceda njani abantwana babo bayenze eyabo inyaniso?

¹⁶ Kungakhathaliseki ukuba isizathu yintoni, unako ukunceda umntwana ayeke ukuba namathandabuzo. Njani? Into eye yanceda abazali abaninzi kukumenza akhululeke umntwana ngokumbuza: “Uvakalelwa njani ngokuba ngumKristu? Kunaziphi iingenelo? Kubangela ziphi iingxaki? Ngaba iingxaki zokukhonza uThixo zininzi kuneengenelo, esizifumana ngoku nesizithenjisiweyo? Njani?” Kakade ke, le mibuzo umele uyibuze ngamazwi akho nangobubele, ube nomdla kuye, ungamncini umntwana wakho. Xa nincokola, usenokuthetha ngoMarko 10:29, 30. Abanye abaselula basenokufuna ukuzibhala phantsi iingcinga zabo—badwelise iingenelo kunye neengxaki. Ukubona izinto abazibhalileyo kusenokubanceda bakwazi ukucinga ngesicombululo seengxaki. Ukuba simele sifunde incwadi ethi Okufundiswa YiBhayibhile nethi “Uthando LukaThixo” nabantu abanomdla, kubekisele phi kubantwana bethu! Ngaba uyayenza loo nto?

¹⁷ Ethubeni, kuza kufuneka abantwana bakho bazenzele isigqibo sokuba baza kukhonza bani. Ungacingi ukuba baza kusuka bosuleleke lukholo lwakho. Bamele bayenze eyabo inyaniso. (IMize. 3:1, 2) Ukuba kubonakala ingenzeki loo nto emntwaneni wakho, kutheni ungabuyeli kwiimfundiso ezisisiseko? Mncede acinge ngemibuzo enjengale: “Ndazi njani mna ukuba uThixo ukho? Yintoni endenza ndeyiseke ukuba uYehova uThixo uyandixabisa? Kutheni ndikholelwa ukuba imilinganiselo kaYehova yenzelwe ukunceda mna?” Yiba ngumalusi onenkathalo ngokuba nomonde ebantwaneni bakho, uze ubancede babone ukuba ukukhonza uYehova yeyona ndlela igqwesileyo yobomi. *—Roma 12:2.

18. Abazali banokumxelisa njani uYehova, onguMalusi Omkhulu?

¹⁸ Onke amaKristu okwenene afuna ukuxelisa uMalusi Omkhulu. (Efe. 5:1; 1 Pet. 2:25) Abazali bamele bayazi imbonakalo yomhlambi wabo—abantwana babo abaxabisekileyo—baze benze konke okusemandleni ukuze babancede bafumane iintsikelelo abazibekelwe nguYehova. Ngoko ke, zama ngazo zonke iindlela ukuba ngumalusi kubantwana bakho ngokubakhulisela enyanisweni!