Umthanda nyhani lo mntu wesini esahlulileyo, ibe uqinisekile ukuba naye uyakuthanda. Ngapha koko, nihlala nibhalelana imiyalezo, nihlala nobabini xa nikwiimbutho . . . , ibe eminye yemiyalezo akubhalela yona ibonisa ukuba unomdla kuwe.

Ngoko ugqiba ekubeni umbuze ukuba uvakalelwa njani ngawe ukuze uqiniseke ukuba niyathandana nyhani na. Uthini xa ekuphendula? “Ndikujonga njengomhlobo​—ayikho eny’ into.”

•  Indlela ovakalelwa ngayo

•  Isizathu sokuba yenzeke

•  Oko unokukwenza

“Ndandinomsindo​—ndicaphuka ngenxa yakhe nangenxa yam! Besisoloko sithumelelana imiyalezo yonke imihla, ibe uye wabonisa umdla kum. Ngokuzenzekelayo, nam ndaqalisa ukumthanda.”​—UJasmine.

“Mna nentombazana ethile sasiziimpelesi zesinye isibini. Ngamanye amaxesha kwakubonakala ngathi nathi siyathandana. Sasidla ngokuncokola ixesha elininzi, ibe saqalisa ukubhalelana imiyalezo. Wathi akundixelela ukuba undijonga njengomhlobo ndaza ndafumanisa nokuba kukho umntu ebethandana naye ixesha eli lonke, kwaba nzima ukuyamkela loo nto.”​—URichard.

“Umfana othile wayendithumelela imiyalezo yonke imihla, ibe ngamanye amaxesha sobabini sasidlala ngothando. Xa ndamxelela ukuba ndiyamthanda, wahleka waza wathi, ‘andifuni kuthandana namntu okwangoku!’ Ndalila kangangexesha elide.”​—UTamara.

Inyaniso kukuba: Xa ucinga ukuba unobuhlobo obukhethekileyo nomntu othile uze ufumanise ukuba nguwe wedwa ovakalelwa njalo, iyazenzekela into yokuba ube nomsindo, uzive uhlazekile ibe ungcatshiwe. Umfana ogama linguSteven uthi: “Ndandihlinzekile xa yenzeka kum loo nto, ibe yandikhathaza nyhani. Kwathath’ ixesha ukuba ndiphinde ndithembe omnye umntu.”

Ukubhalelana imiyalezo namajelo okunxibelelana enza kube lula ukuziva uthanda umntu ongakuthandiyo. Khawuve oko kuthethwa lolunye ulutsha.

“Omnye umntu angakubhalela kuba nje ehambisa ixesha, ube wena ucinga ukuba unomdla kuwe. Ukuba ukubhalela yonke imihla, usenokucinga ukuba ukuthanda nyhani.”​—UJennifer.

“Omnye umntu usenokuba nomdla onyanisekileyo, ngoxa omnye efuna nje umntu wokuncokola, umntu oza kumenza azive kamnandi.”​—UJames.

“Umyalezo ocacileyo othi ulale kamnandi, umntu unokuwafunda ngendlela ebonisa ukuba unomdla kuye, kodwa ube uwuthumele nje ungenazinjongo zimbi.”​—UHailey.

“Ukufaka ubuso obuncumileyo kumyalezo kunokubonisa ukuba ndinobubele okanye ndidlala ngothando. Ngamanye amaxesha umntu ofumana umyalezo unokucinga ukuba udlala ngothando.”​—UAlicia.

Inyaniso kukuba: Sukucinga ukuba umntu xa ekuhoyile uyakuthanda.

Ukuthetha akufani nokwenza! IBhayibhile ithi: “Intliziyo inenkohliso kunayo nantoni na yaye iyatyhudisa.” (Yeremiya 17:9) Inokukwenza ube neemvakalelo eziza kuphela esithubeni xa ufumanisa ukuba nguwe wedwa ubumthanda.

• Cingisisa kuqala. Yima kancinci uze uhlole ubuhlobo benu. Zibuze, Ngaba ikhona into ebangela ukuba ndicinge ukuba lo mntu undiphatha ngokwahlukileyo kwabanye? Sukuvumela iimvakalelo zakho ziphembelele ‘amandla akho engqiqo.’​—Roma 12:1.

• Yiba nengqiqo. Endaweni yokujonga iimpawu ezinokwenza ucinge ukuba niyathadana, jonga ezo ziphikisana naloo nto. Sukuthi ngenxa yokuba umthanda loo mntu, ucinge ukuba naye uyakuthanda.

• Yiba nomonde. De loo mntu akuxelele phandle ukuba ufuna nithandane, sukuzithembisa kakhulu ngento engekhoyo.

• Nyaniseka. IBhayibhile ithi kukho ‘ixesha lokuthetha.’ (INtshumayeli 3:7) Xa ufuna ukwazi ukuba umntu uyakuthanda, yiya kuye uze umbuze. Intombazana egama linguValerie ithi: “Ukuba lo mntu akakuthandi, kungcono ukhathazeke ngoku kunokuqaphela emva kweenyanga ukuba ebengakuthandi kwasekuqaleni.”

Inyaniso kukuba: IMizekeliso 4:23 ithi: “Londoloza intliziyo yakho.” Ukuba uthanda umntu, zama ukuqonda ukuba uyakuthanda na yena. Ukuvumela iimvakalelo zothando zikhule ngaphambi kokuqonda ukuba uyathandwa na kufana nokutyala isityalo elityeni.

Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba lo mntu uyakuthanda​—ube ukwimnyaka yokuba ungathandana yaye ukulungele​—kuxhomekeke kuwe ukuba ufuna ukuthandana kusini na. Khumbula, umtshato owomeleleyo ubunjwa yindoda nomfazi abanosukelo lwezinto zobuthixo olufanayo, abathetha phandle nabanyanisekileyo omnye komnye. (1 Korinte 7:39) Phofu, bebehleli bezitshomi​—ibe basaqhubeka bezizo.​—IMizekeliso 5:18.