NJENGOBA ungase uqagele, amazwi okuqala angenhla ashiwo intombazane engashadile; kanti amazwi angezansi kwawo ashiwo othile oshadile. Okungenzeka awukuqapheli, ukuthi wonke la mazwi ashiwo umuntu oyedwa.

Konakalaphi? Uma ucabanga ukuthi ngolunye usuku uzoshada, ungakuvimbela kanjani ukuphupha ngothando ukuba kuphenduke umshado onezinkinga?

Iqiniso elingenakuphikwa: Injabulo yakho emshadweni ixhomeke kulokho okulindele kuwo.

Lesi sihloko—kanye nesihloko esithi “Intsha Iyabuza” kuyi-Phaphama! elandelayo—zizokusiza ukuba ube nombono oqondile ngalokho ongakulindela.

 Yini ngempela ongayilindela emshadweni? Ngamafuphi:

1. Ungalindela izinzuzo
2. Ungalindela izinselele
3. Ungalindela obungakulindele

Ake sibhekisise isici ngasinye kulezi ezingenhla.

IBhayibheli likhuthaza umbono omuhle ngomshado. (IzAga 18:22) Nazi ezinye izinzuzo ongazilindela.

Ubungane. IBhayibheli lithi ngemva kwesikhathi esithile kudalwe umuntu wokuqala u-Adamu, uNkulunkulu wathi: “Akukuhle ukuba umuntu ahlale yedwa,” ngemva kwalokho wadala u-Eva owayezoba umngane ka-Adamu. (Genesise 2:18) UNkulunkulu wenza ngamunye wabo waba nezimfanelo eziyingqayizivele ezihluke ngokuphelele kwezomunye, kodwa eziphelelisanayo. Ngakho, indoda nomfazi baba abangane abahle kakhulu.—IzAga 5:18.

Ukubambisana. IBhayibheli lithi: “Kungcono ababili kunoyedwa, ngoba ndawonye bangasebenza ngempumelelo ngokwengeziwe.” (UmShumayeli 4:9, Good News Translation) Ngokuqinisekile, lokhu kuyiqiniso ngomshado. UBrenda, * owesifazane osanda kushada, uthi: “Kusho ukusebenza njengeqembu, ukuzithoba nokuzimisela ukuhoxa ngezikhathi ezithile.”

Ukusondelana. IBhayibheli lithi: “Indoda kufanele yanelise izidingo zomkayo ezingokobulili, futhi umfazi kufanele enze okufanayo kumyeni wakhe.” (1 Korinte 7:3, Common English Bible) Uma ushadile, ungajabulela ubulili ngaphandle kokukhathazeka nokuzisola okuvame ukuba nemiphumela edabukisayo uma uhlanganyela ubulili ungashadile.—IzAga 7:22, 23; 1 Korinte 7:8, 9.

Iphuzu eliyinhloko: Umshado uyisipho esivela kuNkulunkulu. (Jakobe 1:17) Uma uphila ngokuvumelana nezimiso zakhe, ungalindela ukuba umshado ube indlela yokuphila evuza ngokucebile.

Ongacabanga ngakho: Ingabe umbono wakho ngomshado uthonywe izibonelo ezimbi oye wazibona—mhlawumbe emkhayeni wakini? Uma kunjalo, iziphi izibonelo ezinhle ezikufanelekelayo ukulingiswa?

IBhayibheli linombono oqondile ngomshado. (1 Korinte 7:28) Nazi ezinye zezinselele ongazilindela.

Ingxabano. Abekho abantu ababili abafana nsé—ngaphandle nje kokuthi abaphelele. (Roma 3:23) Ngakho indoda nomfazi bayoba nezingxabano ngezikhathi ezithile, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi babonakala befanelana kanjani. Ngezinye izikhathi bangaze basho ngisho nezinto ezimbi abangazisola ngazo kamuva. IBhayibheli lithi: “Umuntu ongalokothi asho into embi . . . uyobe uphelele.” (Jakobe 3:2, Holy Bible—Easy-to-Read Version) Kunokuba igweme konke ukungaboni ngaso linye, imibhangqwana ephumelelayo ifunda indlela yokuxoxa nokulungisa ukungezwani lapho kuvela.

Ukudumala. Intombazane okuthiwa uKaren yathi: “Kunenqwaba yamabhayisikobho nezinhlelo zethelevishini ezibonisa intombazane ithola isoka ‘eliyifanele’ futhi baphile kamnandi ukuphila kwabo konke.” Lapho umshado ungabi yilokho okuvezwa kulezi zinto, bobabili abashadile bangase badumale. Yiqiniso, ngemva komshado bobabili abashadile nakanjani bazothola ukungapheleli nezinto ebebengazilindele komunye nomunye. Isihluthulelo siwukukhumbula ukuthi uthando lweqiniso “lukhuthazelela zonke izinto”—ngisho nokudumala.—1 Korinte 13:4, 7.

Ukukhathazeka. IBhayibheli lithi abantu abashadile ‘bakhathazeka ngezinto zezwe.’ (1 Korinte 7:33, 34) Lokho kukhathazeka kuyinto evamile futhi kuyafaneleka. Ngokwesibonelo, ungase ukuthole kuyinselele ukukhokhela izidingo zomkhaya. Bobabili abashadile kungase kudingeke basebenze ukuze nje bathenge ukudla, izingubo zokugqoka bakhokhele nendawo yokuhlala. Kodwa ningaphumelela uma nisebenza ngokubambisana ukuze nondle abendlu yenu.—1 Thimothewu 5:8.

Iphuzu eliyinhloko: Uma ukuqomisana kunjengokundizisa inyoni yephepha, umshado unjengokushayela indiza. Uyodinga ikhono nomzamo owengeziwe ukuze ubhekane ngokuphumelelayo nezinselele ezinkulu—kodwa ungaphumelela.

Ongacabanga ngakho: Uyisingatha kanjani ingxabano manje nabazali bakho noma nezingane zakini? Ingabe uyakwazi ukulondoloza umbono ofanele nakuba udumele? Ubhekana kanjani nokukhathazeka?