Ukuhlakulela Ubuntu Obusha Emshadweni

“Kufanele nenziwe-basha emandleni ashukumisa ingqondo yenu, futhi kufanele nembathe ubuntu obusha.”—EFESU 4:23, 24, NW.

1. Kungani umshado kungafanele uthathwe kalula?

UMSHADO ungesinye sezinyathelo ezingathi sína kakhulu umuntu azithathayo ekuphileni, ngakho akufanele neze uthathwe kalula. Kungani kunjalo? Ngenxa yokuthi udinga ukuba uzibophele komunye umuntu ukuphila kwakho konke. Usho ukuhlanganyela ukuphila kwakho konke nalowomuntu. Kudingeka ukwahlulela okucatshangelwe ngokunakekela ukuze lesosibopho sibe nengqondo. Udinga futhi ithonya elihle ‘elishukumisa ingqondo futhi ngaleyondlela lakhe ubuntu obusha.’—Efesu 4:23, 24; qhathanisa noGenesise 24:10-58; Mathewu 19:5, 6.

2, 3. (a) Yini edingekile ukuze ukhethe umngane womshado ngokuhlakanipha? (b) Yini ehilelekile emshadweni?

² Kunesizathu esihle sokungangeneli umshado ngokushesha, unqotshwa yizinkanuko ezinamandla zenyama. Kudingeka isikhathi ukuze kwakheke ubuntu obuvuthiwe nezimfanelo.  Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uzuza okuhlangenwe nakho nolwazi okungaba yisisekelo sokwahlulela okunengqondo. Khona-ke, ukukhetha umngane wokuphila kwakho konke eningakwazi ukuhlalisana naye ngokuzwana kungase kuphumelele ngezinga elikhulu. Isaga seSipanishi sikubeka ngokusobala: “Kungcono ukuba ongashadile kunokuba nomshado ongajabulisi.”—IzAga 21:9; UmShumayeli 5:2.

³ Ukukhetha umngane ofanelekayo ngokusobala kuyisisekelo somshado ophumelelayo. Ngenxa yalokho umKristu kumelwe asebenzise futhi alandele iziqondiso zeBhayibheli, angaqondiswa nje ukukhanga komzimba kanye nokucindezela okungafanele kwemizwelo nothando. Umshado usho okungaphezu nje kokuhlanganiswa ndawonye kwabantu ababili. Uwukuhlanganiswa kobuntu obubili, izizinda ezimbili zomkhaya nemfundo, kusenokwenzeka kube amasiko nezilimi ezimbili. Ukuhlanganiswa kwabantu ababili emshadweni ngokuqinisekile kudinga ukusetshenziswa kahle kolimi; ngamandla enkulumo, siyabhidliza noma sakhe. Kukho konke lokhu, sibona futhi ukuhlakanipha kweseluleko sikaPawulu ‘sokushada kuphela eNkosini,’ okungukuthi, esikholwa naye.—1 Korinte 7:39; Genesise 24:1-4; IzAga 12:18; 16:24.

Ukubhekana Nokucindezela Komshado

4. Kungani ngezinye izikhathi kuphakama ukungezwani nokucindezeleka emshadweni?

⁴ Ngisho nalapho kunesisekelo esihle, ziyoba khona izikhathi zokungezwani nokucindezeleka. Zingokwemvelo kunoma yimuphi umuntu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ushadile noma akashadile.  Izinkinga zezomnotho nezempilo zingabangela ukucindezeleka kunoma yibuphi ukuwohloka kobuhlobo. Ukushintsha kwesimo somuntu kungaholela ekushayisaneni kobuntu emishadweni ephumelela kakhulu. Esinye isici siwukuthi akekho noyedwa okwazi ukulawula ulimi ngokuphelele, njengoba uJakobe asho: “Sonke siyakhubeka ngokuningi; uma umuntu engakhubeki-ngazwi, lowo uyindoda epheleleyo enamandla okubamba nomzimba wonke. . . . nolimi; luyisitho esincane, kanti luyazigabisa kakhulu. Bhekani umlilo omncane uvuthela ihlathi elingaka.”—Jakobe 3:2, 5.

5, 6. (a) Yini edingekile lapho kuphakama ukungezwani? (b) Yisiphi isenzo esingadinga ukwenziwa ukuze kuvalwe igebe?

⁵ Lapho kuphakama izinkinga emshadweni, singasilawula kanjani isimo? Singakuvimbela kanjani ukungezwani ukuba kube yingxabano nengxabano ukuba ibe ukuwohloka kobuhlobo? Yilapho-ke lapho amandla ashukumisa ingqondo esebenza khona. Lomoya oshukumisayo ungaba oqondile noma ophambene, owakhayo nothambekele ezintweni ezingokomoya noma owonakalisayo, obuswa ukuthambekela okungokwenyama. Uma ungowakhayo, umuntu uyothatha isinyathelo sokuvala igebe, agcine umshado wakhe usemzileni ofanele. Izingxabano nokungavumelani akufanele kuqede umshado. Izici ezimbi zingasuswa futhi ukuhloniphana nokuzwana kubuyiselwe ngokusebenzisa iseluleko seBhayibheli.—Roma 14:19; Efesu 4:23, 26, 27.

⁶ Ngaphansi kwalezizimo amazwi kaPawulu afaneleka kakhulu: “Ngakho-ke njengabakhethiweyo bakaNkulunkulu, abangcwele nabathandekayo, yembathani ububele benhliziyo, nesisa, nokuzithoba, nobumnene, nokubhekakade, nibekezelelane, nithethelelane, uma umuntu enensolo komunye; njengokuba neNkosi yanithethelela, yenzani njalo nani. Kepha phezu kwakho konke lokho yembathani uthando oluyisibopho sokuphelela.”—Kolose 3:12-14.

7. Iyiphi inkinga abanye abangase babe nayo emshadweni wabo?

⁷ Kulula ukuwufunda lowombhalo, kodwa ngaphansi kokucindezela kokuphila kwesimanje, akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuwusebenzisa. Ingase ibe yini inkinga eyisisekelo? Ngezinye izikhathi, engaqaphele, umKristu angase aphile ukuphila okumbaxa-mbili. EHholo LoMbuso, uphakathi kwabazalwane, futhi wenza izinto ngomusa nangokucabangela. Khona-ke, emuva ekhaya, emisebenzini yasekhaya, angase athambekele ekukhohlweni ubuhlobo bakhe obungokomoya. Lapho kukhona indoda nomfazi kuphela, “yena” “nomkakhe.” Futhi ngaphansi kokucindezeleka yena (noma umkakhe) angase agcine esesho izinto ezingabonisi umusa abengenakulokotha azisho eHholo LoMbuso. Yini eye yenzeka? Okwesikhashana, ubuntu bobuKristu buye banyamalala. Inceku kaNkulunkulu iye yakhohlwa ukuthi nasekhaya isengumzalwane (noma udade) ongumKristu. Amandla ashukumisa ingqondo aye aba aphambene kunokuba abe aqondile.—Jakobe 1:22-25.

8. Yini engaba umphumela lapho amandla ashukumisa ingqondo engaqondile?

⁸ Uba yini umphumela? Indoda ingase iyeke ‘ukuhlala nomkayo ngokokwazi, njengalokho owesifazane eyisitsha esibuthakathaka, imnike udumo.’ Umfazi angase angabe esamhlonipha umyeni wakhe; ‘umoya wakhe omnene onokuthula’ awusekho. Amandla ashukumisa ingqondo aseye aba angokwenyama kunokuba abe angokomoya. Sekubusa ‘ingqondo yenyama.’ Ngakho, yini engenziwa ukuze sigcine lawomandla ashukumisayo engokomoya futhi eqondile? Kumelwe siqinise ingokomoya lethu.—1 Petru 3:1-4, 7; Kolose 2:18.

Qinisa Amandla

9. Yikuphi ukukhetha okudingeka sikwenze ekuphileni kwansuku zonke?

⁹ Amandla ashukumisayo awukuthambekela kwengqondo okungenelayo lapho kudingeka senze izinqumo nokukhetha. Ukuphila kuletha uchungechunge oluqhubekayo lwezinto  esingazikhetha—ezinhle noma ezimbi, eziwubugovu noma ezingebona ubugovu, ukuziphatha okuhle noma ukuziphatha okubi. Yini eyosisiza ukuba senze izinqumo ezifanele? Amandla ashukumisa ingqondo uma igxile ekwenzeni intando kaJehova. Umhubi wathandaza: “Ngitshengise, Jehova, indlela yezimiso zakho; ngiyakuyigcina kuze kube-sekupheleni.”—IHubo 119:33; Hezekeli 18:31; Roma 12:2.

10. Singawaqinisa kanjani ngendlela eqondile amandla ashukumisa ingqondo?

¹⁰ Ubuhlobo obuqinile noJehova buyosisiza ukuba simjabulise futhi sishiye okubi, kuhlanganise nokungathembeki emshadweni. U-Israyeli wakhuthazwa ukuba ‘enze okuhle nokulungile emehlweni kaJehova uNkulunkulu [wabo].’ Kodwa uNkulunkulu futhi waluleka: “Nina enithanda uJehova zondani okubi.” Ngokucabangela umyalo wesikhombisa weMiyalo Eyishumi othi: “Ungaphingi,” ama-Israyeli kwakumelwe akuzonde ukuphinga. Lowomyalo wabonisa umbono kaNkulunkulu oqinile wokwethembeka emshadweni.—Duteronomi 12:28; IHubo 97:10; Eksodusi 20:14; Levitikusi 20:10.

11. Singawaqinisa kanjani ngokwengeziwe amandla ashukumisa izingqondo zethu?

¹¹ Singawaqinisa kanjani ngokwengeziwe amandla ashukumisa ingqondo? Ngokwazisa imisebenzi nezindinganiso ezingokomoya. Lokho kusho ukuthi kumelwe sanelise isidingo sokutadisha iZwi likaNkulunkulu njalo futhi kumelwe sifunde ukujabulela ukuxoxa ndawonye ngemiqondo nezeluleko zikaJehova. Imizwa yethu esuka enhliziyweni kufanele ibe njengaleyo yomhubi: “Ngikufunile ngenhliziyo yami yonke; mangingaphambuki emiyalweni yakho. Enhliziyweni yami ngiyalonda izwi lakho, ukuze ngingoni kuwe. Ngitshengise, Jehova, indlela yezimiso zakho; ngiyakuyigcina kuze kube-sekupheleni. Ngiphe ingqondo, ukuze ngiqaphele umthetho wakho, ngiwugcine ngenhliziyo yami yonke.”—IHubo 119:10, 11, 33, 34.

12. Yiziphi izinto ezimbili ezingasenza sibe nobunye ekubonakaliseni umqondo kaKristu?

¹² Loluhlobo lokwazisa ngezimiso zikaJehova zokulunga alulondolozwa nje kuphela ngokutadisha iBhayibheli kodwa futhi nangokuhlanganyela njalo emihlanganweni yobuKristu kanye nokuhlanganyela ndawonye enkonzweni yobuKristu. Lezizici ezimbili ezinamandla zingawaqinisa ngokuqhubekayo amandla ashukumisa izingqondo zethu ukuze indlela yethu yokuphila engenabugovu ihlale ibonakalisa umqondo kaKristu.—Roma 15:5; 1 Korinte 2:16.

13. (a) Kungani umthandazo uyisici esibalulekile ekuqiniseni amandla ashukumisa ingqondo? (b) Yisiphi isibonelo uJesu asibeka ngokuphathelene nalokhu?

¹³ Esinye isici yileso uPawulu asiqokomisayo encwadini yakhe kwabase-Efesu: “Ngokukhuleka konke nokunxusa, nikhuleka ngezikhathi zonke ngoMoya.” (Efesu 6:18) Amadoda nomkayo badinga ukuthandaza ndawonye. Ngokuvamile leyomithandazo yenza umuntu aveze imizwa futhi iholela ezingxoxweni ezingagwegwesi ezivala noma yiliphi igebe. Ezikhathini zokuvivinywa nokulingwa, sidinga ukuphendukela kuNkulunkulu ngomthandazo, sicele usizo, ukuba asiphe amandla angokomoya okwenza lokho okuvumelana nomqondo kaKristu. Ngisho noJesu ophelele waphendukela kuYise ngomthandazo izikhathi eziningi, ecela amandla. Imithandazo yakhe  yayisuka enhliziyweni futhi ijulile. Ngokufanayo namuhla, ngezikhathi zokulingwa, singathola amandla okwenza isinqumo esifanele ngokubiza uJehova ukuba asisize simelane nesifiso sokuvumela inyama singathembeki esithembisweni somshado.—IHubo 119:101, 102.

Izibonelo Zokuziphatha Ezingefani

14, 15. (a) UJosefa wasabela kanjani esilingweni? (b) Yini eyasiza uJosefa ukuba amelane nesilingo?

¹⁴ Singabhekana kanjani nesilingo? Kulendaba sinomehluko ocacile phakathi kwenkambo eyathathwa uJosefa neyathathwa uDavide. Lapho umkaPotifari ngokuphikelela ezama ukuyenga uJosefa obukekayo, ngokusobala owayengashadile ngalesosikhathi, ekugcineni wamphendula ngokuthi: “[Indoda yakho] ayinkulu kunami kulendlu; futhi ayingigodlelanga-lutho ngaphandle kwakho kuphela, ngokuba ungumkayo; pho, ngingenza kanjani lobobubi obungaka, ngone kuNkulunkulu, na?”—Genesise 39:6-9.

¹⁵ Yini eyasiza uJosefa ukuba athathe inkambo efanele lapho kwakuyoba lula kangaka ukuyekelela? Wayenamandla amakhulu ashukumisa ingqondo yakhe. Wayebuqaphela ngempela ubuhlobo bakhe noJehova. Wayazi ukuthi ukuhlobonga kwakhe nalona wesifazane othathekile kwakuyoba yisono hhayi endodeni yakhe kuphela, kodwa okubaluleke ngokwengeziwe, kuNkulunkulu.—Genesise 39:12.

16. UDavide wasabela kanjani esilingweni?

¹⁶ Ngokuphambene, yini eyenzeka kuDavide? Wayeyindoda eshadile, enabafazi abaningana njengoba kwakuvunyelwe uMthetho. Ngobunye ubusuku esendlini yakhe wabona owesifazane egeza. KwakunguBati-Sheba omuhle, umka-Uriya. Ngokusobala uDavide wayenelungelo lokukhetha angakwenza—ukuba aqhubeke ebuka kuyilapho inkanuko ikhula enhliziyweni yakhe noma ukuba aphenduke futhi asenqabe isilingo. Yini akhetha ukuyenza? Wathumela ukuba alethwe esigodlweni sakhe, futhi waphinga naye. Okubi ngisho nakakhulu, wabangela ukuba indoda yakhe ibulawe.—2 Samuweli 11:2-4, 12-27.

17. Yini esingaphetha ngayo ngesimo esingokomoya sikaDavide?

¹⁷ Yayiyini inkinga kaDavide? Ekuvumeni kwakhe isono okudabukisayo kamuva kumaHubo 51, singathola amaqiniso athile. Wathi: “Nkulunkulu, dala kimi inhliziyo ehlanzekileyo, uvuse umoya oqinileyo phakathi kwami.” Kusobala ukuthi ngesikhathi sokulingwa kwakhe, wayengenawo umoya ohlanzekile noqotho. Mhlawumbe wayedebeselele ukufunda kwakhe uMthetho kaJehova, futhi ngenxa yalokho, ingokomoya lakhe laba buthakathaka. Noma kungenzeka wavumela isikhundla sakhe namandla njengenkosi ukuba konakalise ukucabanga kwakhe waze waba yisisulu sesifiso esivusa inkanuko. Ngokuqinisekile, amandla ashukumisa ingqondo yakhe ngalesosikhathi ayenobugovu futhi enesono. Ngakho-ke, waqaphela isidingo sakhe ‘somoya omusha, oqinileyo.’—IHubo 51:10; Duteronomi 17:18-20.

18. Yisiphi iseluleko uJesu asinikeza ngokuphathelene nokuphinga?

¹⁸ Eminye imishado yamaKristu iye yonakala ngenxa yokuthi umngane womshado oyedwa noma bobabili baye bazivumela ukuba bawele esimweni sokuba buthakathaka ngokomoya esifana neseNkosi uDavide. Isibonelo sayo kufanele sisixwayise ekubeni siqhubeke sibuka omunye wesifazane, noma owesilisa, ngenkanuko, ngoba ekugcineni kungase kuphumele ekuphingeni. UJesu wabonisa ukuthi wayeyiqonda imizwelo yabantu ngokuphathelene nalokhu, ngoba wathi: “Nizwile kwathiwa: Ungaphingi. Kepha mina ngithi kini: Yilowo nalowo obuka owesifazane, amkhanuke, usephingile naye enhliziyweni yakhe.” Esimweni esinjalo, amandla ashukumisa ingqondo anobugovu futhi angokwenyama, awawona angokomoya. Khona-ke, yini amaKristu angayenza ukuze agweme ukuphinga futhi agcine imishado yawo ijabulisa futhi yanelisa?—Mathewu 5:27, 28.

 Qinisa Isibopho Somshado

19. Umshado ungaqiniswa kanjani?

¹⁹ INkosi uSolomoni yabhala: “Nakuba umuntu ahlula oyedwa, ababili bayakuma phambi kwakhe, nentambo emicu-mithathu ayisheshi ukugqashuka.” Ngokuqinisekile, abantu ababili emshadweni onokuzwana bangama ndawonye kangcono ezikhathini zosizi kunoyedwa. Kodwa uma isibopho sabo sinjengentambo emicu-mithathu ngokuba sibe noNkulunkulu, umshado uyoqina. Futhi uNkulunkulu angaba kanjani semshadweni? Ngokuba umbhangqwana usebenzise izimiso zakhe neseluleko somshado.—UmShumayeli 4:12.

20. Yisiphi iseluleko seBhayibheli esingasiza indoda?

²⁰ Ngokuqinisekile, uma indoda isebenzisa iseluleko salemibhalo elandelayo, umshado wayo uyoba nesisekelo esingcono sempumelelo:

“Madoda, hlalani nabo ngokokwazi, njengalokhu owesifazane eyisitsha esibuthakathaka, nibanike udumo, lokhu beyizindlalifa zomusa wokuphila kanye nani, ukuze imikhuleko yenu ingathiywa.”—1 Petru 3:7.

“Madoda, thandani omkenu, njengalokho noKristu ulithandile ibandla, wazinikela ngenxa yalo. Kanjalo amadoda afanele ukuthanda omkawo njengemizimba yawo. Othanda umkakhe uzithanda yena.”—Efesu 5:25, 28.

“Nendoda yakhe iyamdumisa ngokuthi: Baningi abafazi abakhutheleyo, kepha wena ubadlula bonke.”—IzAga 31:28, 29.

“Umuntu angahamba phezu kwamalahle avuthayo, izinyawo zakhe zingahamuki, na? Unjalo yena ongena kumkamakhelwane: akayikuthiwa ongenacala noma yimuphi omthintileyo. Ophinga nowesifazane . . . wenza lokho okuchitha umphefumulo wakhe.”—IzAga 6:28, 29, 32.

21. Yisiphi iseluleko seBhayibheli esingasiza umfazi?

²¹ Uma umfazi elalela lezimiso zeBhayibheli ezilandelayo, kuyoba nengxenye ekwenzeni umshado wakhe uhlale njalo:

“Bafazi, thobelani amadoda enu, ukuze kuthi, uma ekhona angakholwa yizwi, azuzwe ngaphandle kwezwi ngenkambo yabafazi bawo, ebona inkambo yenu emhlophe esekwesabeni. . . . Komoya [wenu] omnene onokuthula.”—1 Petru 3:1-4.

“Indoda ayinike umfazi okumfaneleyo [ngokobulili]; nomfazi enze njalo endodeni. . . . Ningagodlelani, kuphela kube-ngokwesikhathi ngokuvumelana.”—1 Korinte 7:3-5.

22. (a) Yiziphi ezinye izici ezingaba nethonya elihle emshadweni? (b) UJehova usibheka kanjani isehlukaniso?

²² IBhayibheli futhi libonisa ukuthi uthando, umusa, isihe, ukubekezela, ukuqonda, isikhuthazo, kanye nokutusa kungezinye zezici ezibalulekile zalelitshe eliyigugu eliwumshado. Umshado ongenazo unjengesitshalo esingalitholi ilanga namanzi—asivamile ukuqhakaza. Ngakho amandla ashukumisa izingqondo zethu mawasenze sikhuthazane futhi sinikane impumuzo emshadweni wethu. Khumbula ukuthi uJehova ‘uyakuzonda ukwahlukana.’ Uma uthando lobuKristu lusetshenziswa, akufanele kube khona ukuphinga nokuwohloka komshado. Ngani? Ngoba “uthando alusoze lwaphela.”—Malaki 2:16; 1 Korinte 13:4-8; Efesu 5:3-5.

Ungachaza?

□ Yini eyisisekelo emshadweni ojabulisayo?

□ Amandla ashukumisa ingqondo angawuthinta kanjani umshado?

□ Yini esingayenza ukuze siqinise amandla ashukumisa izingqondo zethu?

□ UJosefa noDavide basabela kanjani ngokungafani lapho bengaphansi kwesilingo?

□ Yisiphi iseluleko seBhayibheli esiyosiza amadoda nabafazi ukuba baqinise isibopho somshado?

[Imibuzo Yesifundo]

[Izithombe ekhasini 18]

Ingabe siphila ngendinganiso embaxa-mbili—sibe nomusa ebandleni kodwa sibe nokhahlo ekhaya?