Ukuxolisa—Isihluthulelo Sokudala Ukuthula

“UKUXOLISA kunamandla. Kuxazulula izingxabano ngaphandle kodlame, kulungisa uqhekeko phakathi kwezizwe, kwenze imibuso ikuvume ukuhlupheka kwezakhamuzi zayo, kuvuselele ubuhlobo obuhle phakathi kwabantu.” Washo kanjalo uDeborah Tannen, umbhali owaziwayo nesazi sokuhlalisana kwabantu nesezilimi eGeorgetown University eWashington, D.C.

IBhayibheli liyakufakazela ukuthi ukuxolisa okuqotho ngokuvamile kuyindlela ephumelelayo yokulungisa ubuhlobo obonakele. Ngokwesibonelo, emzekelisweni kaJesu wendodana yolahleko, lapho le ndodana ibuyela ekhaya futhi ixolisa ngokusuka enhliziyweni, uyise wayezimisele ukuyamukela ngezandla ezifudumele. (Luka 15:17-24) Yebo, umuntu akufanele azazise kangangokuba angakwazi ukuzehlisa, axolise, acele nentethelelo. Yiqiniso, kubantu abathobeke ngempela, ukuxolisa akunzima.

Amandla Okuxolisa

U-Abigayili, owesifazane ohlakaniphile wakwa-Israyeli wasendulo, unikeza isibonelo samandla okuxolisa, nakuba ayexolisela ububi obabenziwe umyeni wakhe. Ngesikhathi esehlane, uDavide, kamuva owaba inkosi yakwa-Israyeli, namadoda ayekanye naye bavikela umhlambi kaNabali, umyeni ka-Abigayili. Kodwa, lapho izinsizwa zikaDavide zicela isinkwa namanzi, uNabali wazixosha elandelisa ngamazwi enhlamba. Ethukutheliswe yilokho, uDavide wahola amadoda angaba ngu-400 ukuyohlasela uNabali nendlu yakhe. Lapho u-Abigayili ezwa ngalokhu, waphuma wayohlangabeza  uDavide. Lapho embona, wawa ngobuso ezinyaweni zikaDavide. Wabe esethi: “Lobo bubi mabube phezu kwami, nkosi; incekukazi yakho mayikhulume ezindlebeni zakho, uzwe amazwi encekukazi yakho.” U-Abigayili wabe esechaza isimo wayesepha uDavide ukudla nokuphuzwayo. UDavide wayesethi: “Khuphukela endlini yakho ngokuthula; bheka, ngililalele izwi lakho, ngibuvumile ubuso bakho.”—1 Samuweli 25:2-35.

Isimo sengqondo sika-Abigayili sokuthobeka kanye namazwi akhe okuxolisela ukudelela komyeni wakhe kwasindisa indlu yakhe. UDavide waze wambonga ngokumvimba angangeni ecaleni legazi. Nakuba kwakungeyena u-Abigayili owayephathe kabi uDavide namadoda ayekanye naye, walithwala icala lomkhaya wakhe wabuyisana noDavide.

Esinye isibonelo somuntu owayazi lapho kufanele axolise umphostoli uPawulu. Ngesinye isikhathi, kwadingeka azivikele phambi kweSanhedrini, inkantolo ephakeme yamaJuda. Ethukutheliswe amazwi kaPawulu aqotho, umpristi ophakeme u-Ananiya wayala ababemi eduze kukaPawulu ukuba bamshaye emlonyeni. Ngenxa yalokho, uPawulu wathi kuye: “UNkulunkulu uzokushaya, wena ludonga olucakiwe. Ingabe uhlalele ukungahlulela ngokuvumelana noMthetho futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo, weqa uMthetho, uyala ukuba ngishaywe?” Lapho ababebukele bethi uPawulu uthuka umpristi ophakeme, lo mphostoli walivuma ngokushesha iphutha lakhe, wathi: “Bafowethu, bengingazi ukuthi umpristi ophakeme. Ngoba kulotshiwe, ‘Ungakhulumi kabi ngombusi wabantu bakho.’”—IzEnzo 23:1-5.

Lokho uPawulu ayekushilo—ukuthi umuntu omiswe njengomahluleli akufanele asebenzise ubudlova—kwakuyiqiniso. Noma kunjalo, waxolisa ngokukhuluma nompristi ophakeme engazi ngendlela eyayingase ibhekwe njengokwedelela. * Ukuxolisa kukaPawulu kwavula indlela yokuba iSanhedrini imlalele. Njengoba uPawulu ayazi ukuthi amalungu enkantolo anokuthile angavumelani ngakho, wawatshela ukuthi uquliswa ngenxa yokukholelwa ovukweni. Ngenxa yalokho, kwaba nokuphikisana okukhulu, abaFarisi baba ngakuPawulu.—IzEnzo 23:6-10.

Singafundani kulezi zibonelo ezimbili eziseBhayibhelini? Kuzo zombili, amazwi aqotho okuxolisa avula indlela yokukhulumisana okwengeziwe. Ngakho amazwi okuxolisa angasisiza sidale ukuthula. Yebo, ukuvuma amaphutha ethu nokuxolisa ngomonakalo esiwenzile kungavula amathuba okuxoxisana okwakhayo.

‘Kodwa Angonanga Ngalutho’

Lapho sithola ukuthi othile kumphathe kabi lokho esikushilo noma esikwenzile, singase  sizitshele ukuthi lowo muntu uyeqisa noma uyashesha ukuzwela. Nokho, uJesu Kristu weluleka abafundi bakhe: “Khona-ke, uma uletha isipho sakho e-altare bese ukhumbula lapho ukuthi umfowenu unokuthile ngawe, shiya isipho sakho lapho phambi kwe-altare, uhambe; okokuqala yenza ukuthula nomfowenu, khona-ke, lapho usubuyile, unikele ngesipho sakho.”—Mathewu 5:23, 24.

Ngokwesibonelo, umzalwane angase abe nomuzwa wokuthi umonile. Esimweni esinjalo, uJesu wathi kufanele uhambe ‘uyokwenza ukuthula nomfowenu,’ kungakhathaliseki ukuthi wena ucabanga ukuthi umonile noma cha. Ngokombhalo wesiGreki, igama uJesu alisebenzisa lapha ‘lisho ukuvunywa kwecala nhlangothi zombili ngemva kokungahoshelani umoya.’ (Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words) Ngempela, lapho abantu ababili bexabene, kungenzeka bobabili banephutha ngezinga elithile, njengoba bobabili bengaphelele futhi bewenza amaphutha. Ngokuvamile lokhu kudinga ukuba bobabili bavume icala.

Indaba ayikona ukuthi ubani onephutha nongenalo, kodwa ukuthi ubani ozokwenza ukuthula kuqala. Lapho umphostoli uPawulu eqaphela ukuthi amaKristu aseKorinte ayeyisana ezinkantolo zezwe eyizinceku zikaNkulunkulu, ngokungezwani okunjengezingxabano zezimali, wawayala: “Kunalokho kungani ningavumi ukuba noniwe? Kunalokho kungani ningavumi ukuba niphanjwe?” (1 Korinte 6:7) Nakuba uPawulu akusho lokhu ukuze anqande amaKristu ayekholwa nawo ukuba angabiki ukungezwani kwawo ezinkantolo zezwe, isimiso sicacile: Ukuthula kwamakholwa kubaluleke ngaphezu kokuveza ukuthi ubani onephutha nongenalo. Ukukhumbula lesi simiso kwenza kube lula ukuxolisela iphutha omunye acabanga ukuthi silenzile kuye.

Kudingeka Ukuba Qotho

Nokho, abanye abantu bawasebenzisa ngokweqile amazwi okuxolisa. Ngokwesibonelo, eJapane, igama elithi sumimasen, elivame ukusetshenziswa ekuxoliseni, lihlala lisematheni. Lingase lisetshenziselwe ukubonga, liveze ukuzenyeza ngenxa yokungakwazi ukubuyisela umusa umuntu awubonisiwe. Ngenxa yokusebenza kwalo ngezindlela eziningi, abanye bangase babe nomuzwa wokuthi leli gama lisetshenziswa ngokweqile, bazibuze ukuthi labo abalisebenzisayo baqotho ngempela yini. Nakwezinye izilimi izindlela zokuxolisa zingase zibonakale zisetshenziswa ngokweqile.

Kunoma iluphi ulimi, kubalulekile ukuba qotho lapho uxolisa. Amazwi owasebenzisayo nephimbo lakho kufanele kuveze ubuqotho bokudabuka kwakho. UJesu Kristu wafundisa abafundi bakhe eNtshumayelweni Yasentabeni wathi: “Izwi lenu elingu-Yebo malisho uYebo, u-Cha wenu, uCha; ngoba okweqa kulokhu kuvela komubi.” (Mathewu 5:37) Uma uxolisa, xolisa ngempela! Ngokwesibonelo: Indoda eyayisemgqeni esikhumulweni sezindiza yaxolisa lapho umthwalo wayo ushayisa owesifazane owayemi phambi kwayo. Ngemva kwemizuzu embalwa, njengoba kusondelwa, ipotimende laphinde lamthinta lona wesifazane. Yaphinda futhi yaxolisa ngesizotha le ndoda. Kwathi uma kuphinda futhi kwenzeka, owayehamba nalona wesifazane watshela le ndoda ukuthi uma ixolisa ngempela kufanele iqiniseke ukuthi umthwalo wayo awumthinti futhi lona wesifazane. Yebo, ukuxolisa okuqotho kufanele kuhambisane nokuzimisela ukungaliphindi lelo phutha.

Uma siqotho, lapho sixolisa siyovuma noma iliphi iphutha, sifune intethelelo, futhi sizame ukulungisa umonakalo ngangokunokwenzeka. Nalowo owoniwe kufanele asheshe ukumxolela umoni ophendukile. (Mathewu 18:21, 22; Marku 11:25; Efesu 4:32; Kolose 3:13) Njengoba bobabili abahilelekile bengaphelele, ukwenza ukuthula kungase kungasheleli ngaso sonke isikhathi. Noma kunjalo, amazwi okuxolisa anamandla ekwenzeni ukuthula.

Lapho Ukuxolisa Kungafanele

Nakuba amazwi okuzisola nawokudabuka ethoba futhi esiza ekwakheni ukuthula, umuntu  ohlakaniphile uyakugwema ukuwasebenzisa lapho kungafanele. Ngokwesibonelo, ake sithi indaba ihilela ubuqotho kuNkulunkulu. Lapho uJesu Kristu esemhlabeni, “wazithoba futhi walalela kwaze kwaba sekufeni, yebo, ekufeni esigxotsheni sokuhlushwa.” (Filipi 2:8) Nokho akazange axolise ngezinkolelo zakhe ukuze angahlupheki. Futhi uJesu akaxolisanga lapho umpristi ophakeme ethi kuye: “Ngikufungisa uNkulunkulu ophilayo ukuba usitshele ukuthi unguye yini uKristu iNdodana kaNkulunkulu!” Kunokuba axolise ekhophoza, uJesu waphendula ngesibindi wathi: “Wena ngokwakho ukushilo. Nokho mina ngithi kini madoda, Kusukela manje kuqhubeke nizobona iNdodana yomuntu ihlezi ngakwesokunene samandla futhi iza iphezu kwamafu ezulu.” (Mathewu 26:63, 64) UJesu akakucabanganga nokukucabanga ukugcina ukuthula nompristi ophakeme ngokuphula ubuqotho bakhe kuYise, uJehova uNkulunkulu.

AmaKristu ayabahlonipha, abanike udumo abantu abasemagunyeni. Noma kunjalo, akudingekile axolise ngokulalela kwawo uNkulunkulu nangokuthanda kwawo abafowabo.—Mathewu 28:19, 20; Roma 13:5-7.

Lapho Zingasekho Izithiyo Zokuthula

Namuhla, senza amaphutha ngoba sathola ufuzo lokungapheleli nesono kukhokho wethu u-Adamu. (Roma 5:12; 1 Johane 1:10) Ukuba nesono kuka-Adamu kwakuwumphumela wokuhlubuka kwakhe uMdali. Nokho, ekuqaleni u-Adamu no-Eva babephelele bengenasono, futhi uNkulunkulu uthembise ukuthi uzobuyisela isintu kulesi simo sokuphelela. Uzosusa isono nayo yonke imiphumela yaso.—1 Korinte 15:56, 57.

Cabanga nje ukuthi lokho kuyosho ukuthini! Lapho eluleka ngokusetshenziswa kolimi, uJakobe, umfowabo kaJesu ngomzali oyedwa, wathi: “Uma noma ubani engakhubeki ngezwi, lowo uyindoda ephelele, ekwazi ukulawula nomzimba wayo wonke ngokungathi ngetomu.” (Jakobe 3:2) Umuntu ophelele angalulawula ulimi lwakhe kungadingeki axolise ngokulusebenzisa kabi. Uyakwazi ‘ukulawula umzimba wakhe wonke ngokungathi ngetomu.’ Akuve kuyoba mnandi lapho sesiphelele! Ngaleso sikhathi, ngeke zisaba khona izinto ezithiya ukuthula phakathi kwabantu. Nokho, okwamanje ukuxolisa ngobuqotho uma kufanele ngephutha esilenzile kuyosiza kakhulu ekwenzeni ukuthula.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Isithombe ekhasini 5]

Yini esingayifunda esibonelweni sikaPawulu?

[Isithombe ekhasini 7]

Lapho wonke umuntu esephelele, ziyobe zingasekho izithiyo zokuthula