UCABANGA ukuthi yayiyini inkinga kaThabani noNonjabulo? Izinhloso zabo zazizinhle. Bobabili babemthanda uNkulunkulu. Kanti babesibona nesidingo sokutadisha iBhayibheli ndawonye. Kodwa yona kanye into eyayingabasiza babe munye, kubonakala yaba nomphumela ophambene. Kungenzeka babetadisha ndawonye, kodwa babengalihlakuleli ingokomoya njengendoda nenkosikazi.

Liyini ingokomoya? Kungani indoda nomkayo kufanele balwele ukulihlakulela? Iziphi izinselele abangahlangabezana nazo futhi bangazinqoba kanjani?

Igama elithi “ingokomoya” njengoba lisetshenziswe eBhayibhelini, libhekisela esimweni sengqondo noma endleleni okubhekwa ngayo ukuphila. (Jude 18, 19) Ngokwesibonelo, umlobi weBhayibheli uPawulu, uqokomisa umehluko okhona phakathi kwesimo sengqondo somuntu ongokomoya nomuntu ongokwenyama. Ubonisa ukuthi labo abanokuthambekela okungokwenyama bazikhathalela bona kakhulu kunabanye. Benza lokho okubonakala kulungile emehlweni abo, kunokuzama ukuphila ngemiyalo kaNkulunkulu.—1 Korinte 2:14; Galathiya 5:19, 20.

Ngokuphambene, labo abangokomoya bayayazisa imiyalo kaNkulunkulu. Babheka uJehova uNkulunkulu njengoMngane wabo futhi balwela ukulingisa ubuntu bakhe. (Efesu 5:1) Ngakho,  babonisa uthando, umusa, nobumnene lapho besebenzelana nabanye. (Eksodusi 34:6) Balalela uNkulunkulu ngisho nalapho kungelula ngabo ukwenza kanjalo. (IHubo 15:1, 4) UDarren, ohlala eCanada futhi oseshade iminyaka engu-35, uthi: “Ngendlela engikuqonda ngayo, ngaso sonke isikhathi umuntu ongokomoya uyacabanga ukuthi ukukhuluma kwakhe nezenzo zakhe kuzobuthinta kanjani ubuhlobo bakhe noNkulunkulu.” Umkakhe, uJane, uyenezela: “Ngicabanga ukuthi umfazi ongokomoya yilowo osebenza kanzima usuku nosuku ukuze enze izithelo zomoya kaNkulunkulu zibe ingxenye yobuntu bakhe.”—Galathiya 5:22, 23.

Yiqiniso, umuntu akudingeki aze ashade ukuze abe ngokomoya. Empeleni, iBhayibheli lifundisa ukuthi umuntu ngamunye unomthwalo wemfanelo wokufunda ngoNkulunkulu futhi amlingise.—IzEnzo 17:26, 27.

Kungani-ke indoda nomkayo kufanele bahlakulele ingokomoya ndawonye njengabantu abashadile? Cabanga ngalo mfanekiso: Abalimi ababili banesivande futhi bafuna ukutshala imifino. Omunye ubona kungcono ukuba imbewu itshalwe ngesikhathi esithile sonyaka, kuyilapho omunye ebona kufaneleka ukuba itshalwe ngesinye isikhathi. Omunye ufuna ukusebenzisa uhlobo oluthile lomquba, kodwa omunye akavumelani nhlobo nalokho futhi unomuzwa wokuthi izitshalo aziwudingi umquba. Omunye ufuna ukuzikhandla esivandeni usuku ngalunye. Kanti omunye uthanda ukuhlala nje angasebenzi alindele isivuno. Esimweni esinjalo, isivande singakhiqiza, kodwa hhayi ngendlela ebesiyokhiqiza ngayo ukube bobabili abalimi bebeye bavumelana ngokumelwe kwenziwe futhi basebenza ndawonye ukuze bafinyelele lowo mgomo.

Indoda nenkosikazi bayafana nalabo balimi. Uma oyedwa kwabashadile ehlakulela ingokomoya, umshado wabo ungase uthuthuke. (1 Petru 3:1, 2) Kodwa yeka ukuthi kungaba ngcono kangakanani lapho bobabili abashadile bevumelana ukuba baphile ngemiyalo kaNkulunkulu futhi bazikhandle ukuba basekelane njengoba bekhonza uNkulunkulu! Inkosi ehlakaniphile uSolomoni yabhala: “Ababili bangcono kunoyedwa.” Ngani? “Ngoba banomvuzo omuhle ngomsebenzi wabo onzima. Ngoba uma kungenzeka omunye wabo awe, lo omunye angamvusa umngane wakhe.”—UmShumayeli 4:9, 10.

Cishe nawe uyakulangazelela ukuhlakulela ingokomoya noshade naye. Kodwa njengoba kunjalo ngesivande, ukufisa kukodwa akusizi. Cabanga ngezinselele ezimbili ongase uhlangabezane nazo nokuthi ungazinqoba kanjani.

INSELELE 1: Asisitholi isikhathi.

USue, osanda kushada, uthi: “Umyeni wami ungilanda emsebenzini ngo-7:00 kusihlwa. Lapho sifika, yonke imisebenzi yasekhaya isuke isilindile. Ingqondo isuke ifuna lokhu nomzimba ufuna lokhuya; izingqondo zethu zithi kufanele sifunde ngoNkulunkulu ndawonye, kodwa imizimba ifuna ukuphumula.”

Okungaba isixazululo: Vumelanani nezimo futhi nibe nomoya wokubambisana. USue uthi: “Mina nomyeni wami sanquma ukusheshe sivuke ukuze sifunde futhi sixoxe ngengxenye ethile yeBhayibheli ndawonye ngaphambi kokuya emsebenzini. Uyangisiza futhi nangeminye imisebenzi yasendlini ukuze sikwazi ukuba nesikhathi ndawonye.” Iziphi izinzuzo ezilethwa ukwenza lo mzamo owengeziwe? Umyeni kaSue, u-Ed, uthi: “Ngithole ukuthi uma mina noSue sixoxa ngezinto ezingokomoya njalo ndawonye, sibhekana kangcono nezinkinga esihlangabezana nazo sikwazi nokunciphisa izinkathazo zethu.”

Ngaphezu kokukhulumisana, kubalulekile nokuba nemizuzu embalwa usuku ngalunye nithandaza ndawonye. Kungasiza kanjani lokho? URyan oseneminyaka engu-16 eshadile, uthi: “Muva nje mina nomkami sike sabhekana nobunzima emshadweni wethu. Kodwa siye senza isikhathi sokuthandaza ndawonye ubusuku ngabunye, sitshela uNkulunkulu okusikhathazayo. Nginomuzwa wokuthi ukuthandaza ndawonye kusisize sakwazi ukuxazulula izinkinga zethu futhi manje sesiyajabula emshadweni.”

INSELELE 2: Sinamakhono angefani.

UTony uthi: “Mina nokuhlala phansi ngifunde, izinto ezimbili ezingahlangani.” Umkakhe, uNatalie, uthi: “Ngiyakuthanda ukufunda futhi ngiyathanda ukuxoxa ngezinto engizifundile. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi ngiye ngibone sengathi ngiyamesabisa uTony uma ngixoxa ngezinto ezisekelwe eBhayibhelini.”

Okungaba isixazululo: Yiba osekelayo, hhayi oncintisanayo noma owahlulelayo. Phelelisa futhi uncome oshade naye ngalokho akwenza kahle. UTony uthi: “Intshiseko yomkami yokuxoxa ngezihloko zeBhayibheli iyakhungathekisa ngezinye izikhathi, futhi ngangize ngibe mathintanyawo ukuxoxa naye ngezinto ezingokomoya. Noma kunjalo, uNatalie akeve engisekela. Manje sixoxa ngezinto ezingokomoya njalo, futhi ngithole nokuthi ayikho into okumelwe ngiyesabe. Ngiyakujabulela ukuxoxa naye ngezinto ezingokomoya. Kusisizile ukuba sikhululeke kakhudlwana futhi sibe nokuthula njengabantu abashadile.”

Abantu abaningi abashadile bathole ukuthi imishado yabo iyathuthuka lapho bebekela eceleni isikhathi esithile isonto ngalinye ukuze bafunde futhi batadishe iBhayibheli ndawonye. Kodwa nasi isixwayiso: Bonisa ukuthi amaphuzu eseluleko asebenza kanjani kuwena, hhayi koshade naye. (Galathiya 6:4) Izinto ezinixabanisayo zixoxeni ngesinye isikhathi, hhayi phakathi nesifundo. Ngani?

Awucabange ngalokhu: Ake sithi uyadla nomkhaya wakho, ubungakhetha ukusebenzisa leso sikhathi ukuze ugeze futhi ubhandishe isilonda esibhibhayo? Cishe ubungeke. Ngoba ngokwenza kanjalo ubungavele uqede uthando lokudla kuwo wonke umuntu. UJesu wafanisa ukufunda nokwenza intando kaNkulunkulu, nokudla. (Mathewu 4:4; Johane 4:34) Uma ukhuluma ngezilonda ezingokomzwelo isikhathi ngasinye lapho uvula iBhayibheli, ungase uqede uthando lokudla okungokomoya koshade naye. Yiqiniso, kuyadingeka nixoxe ngezinkinga. Kodwa xoxani ngazo ngesikhathi enisihlelele lokho ngokuqondile.—IzAga 10:19; 15:23.

Uma nihlwanyela, noma nihlakulela ingokomoya njengendoda nenkosikazi, ekugcineni niyovuna umshado onokuthula nemivuzo ethé xaxa. Empeleni, iZwi likaNkulunkulu liqinisekisa ukuthi “noma yini umuntu ayihlwanyelayo uyovuna yona futhi.”—Galathiya 6:7.

UThabani noNonjabulo, abacashunwe ekuqaleni kwalesi sihloko, bakubona ukuba iqiniso kwalesi simiso seBhayibheli. Manje sebeneminyaka engu-45 beshadile futhi bayazi ukuthi ukubekezela kuyazuzisa. UThabani uthi: “Ngangivame ukusola umkami ngokungakhulumi. Kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ngaqonda ukuthi nami kwakufanele ngenze umzamo.” UNonjabulo uthi: “Okwasisiza kakhulu ezikhathini ezinzima, uthando lwethu ngoJehova uNkulunkulu. Kuyo yonke le minyaka, besitadisha njalo futhi sithandaza ndawonye. Njengoba ngibona uThabani enza umzamo wokuba athuthuke ekuboniseni izimfanelo zobuKristu, kwenza kube lula ngami ukuba ngimthande.”